Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
The never been married is not an issue as far as I'm concerned. Being supported and taken care of by Mommy nearly 30 years after one should have become independent is a big issue. Huge. Unless a woman is happy to take over where Mommy left off, she should steer clear.
Nearly 30 years after one should have become independent? How many 18 year old people (not including those living in college dorms) are independent and actually live on their own? Tell me that?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Petunia 100
Societal expectations? A 47 year old who has not yet managed to become a functional adult has issues of some sort. Would you want to partner up with such a person?
Sounds like more (ignorant) assumptions from you.
Perhaps I missed the OP saying this, but you seem to imply this man has never lived on his own? Why is that? Your bit about how he “Has not yet managed to become a functional adult” implies this man has never lived outside of his mother’s house, and unless I’ve missed something (I apologize if I did), we don’t know that he’s never been out on his own.
I need some advice regarding a guy that I just recently started dating that I met at Whole foods. He is 47yo, and I am 35yo. I've been single for awhile (6 months) before meeting, and I decided to accept an invitation from him to meet up for coffee. He approached me while I was shopping. He is quite handsome, tall, and in nice shape. On our first date at a coffee shop, I felt very comfortable with him, and we had really nice chemistry. He seems very charming and a good conversationist. On our second date, I was surprised to find out that he still lives home with his mom, and doesnt even have a car. He says he works from home on his laptop doing IT consulting work part-time. I found this to be a bit strange living at home at this age. He invited me to his home this past weekend to watch a movie, and have dinner. He had his mom cook dinner for us. She seems like a sweet lady, but I just felt really akward being there with her around. He even mentioned that his mom does his laundry, and I was shocked, and a bit annoyed at this. At this point I'm not sure if I want to continue on with this or jump ship. He doesnt seem to be a guy who seem to have his life together, nor has the motivation to better himself. He even mentioned that he plays a lot of video games in his free time, at 47!! . I don't know maybe I'm overthinking this. Any advice from the ladies out there on whether I am overreacting here, or would these raise a lot of red flags? To be honest if he wasnt so handsome, and charming, I'd probably wouldnt have hung out with him past the second date.
Thanks,
Vanessa
I am lost.
Where is it listed as sin to live with your mother?
He has a job as an IT consultant p/t, so it's not like he's freeloading.
He probably pays half the bills.
Why would he want to move out?
His mom cooking for you both could bother me but it might not.
She may have insisted.
That's a sweet gesture!
Clearly he loves his Mother so has his priorities in line
if you do not bond to his MOM, that is really the issue here isn't it???
I do not see your issue here whatsoever.
He's in shape, shops at Whole Foods so is health conscious,
has a fairly decent p/t job as an IT guy,
and loves his Mom.
Why look for trouble where there is none?
Are you really that blinded?
True Story- I had a friend in high school who got married at 19 yrs old.
His father died a few yrs prior.
They lived with his mom and grandma
Until Grandma passed
Both loved his Mother
she helped raise her grandkids
Added on to the place
A large garage for all their adult toys (four wheel drives, four wheelers, motorcycles)
They went on many 4 wheeling weekend vacations with their club leaving the kids behind to be babysat
for the entire weekends
It worked out GREAT for everyone.
His Mom has since passed away and though he has a good job,
they still live in that SAME large Mobile Home on 3 acres.
Don't nix a great thing until you learn more.
There are very few people with virtues like this, family oriented.
He may even change your value system into something good!
keep an open mind
Good luck
Last edited by RuralDweller; 09-10-2018 at 08:40 PM..
Perhaps I missed the OP saying this, but you seem to imply this man has never lived on his own? Why is that? Your bit about how he “Has not yet managed to become a functional adult” implies this man has never lived outside of his mother’s house, and unless I’ve missed something (I apologize if I did), we don’t know that he’s never been out on his own.
Here
Quote:
Originally Posted by vamfury1
He told me he grew up in the home since the age of 4yo. His sister moved out when she got married. He did say he lived in California for a year before returning back home.
why is the definition of a functional adult someone who had lived outside the home?
Why isn't dysfunction someone who instead, hasn't been divorced with a broken family by age 47?
Maybe a few screwed up kids which is usually the case.
This just sounds too good to be true for a 47 yr old man.
Move on if you do not hold to traditional valyes
Here’s what bothers me. At his age, being a part time computer consultant working from his mothers house is an issue. As a man, I would never have lived with my mom at that age. It is down right embarrassing. I wouldn’t even consider asking a girl out ona date in fear of her finding out. What is he gonna do when mom dies? If for some reason he does not inherit her house outright, how the hell does he plan on supporting himself? If he cannot support himself by now, he is in trouble.
As for him not being married at this age, that doesn’t bother me. I was single til I was 45. I wasn’t settling. If I had married any of my previous ex girlfriends, i would have been divorced. So, it’s better not to marry than marry the wrong one. My guess is that he has not gotten married because no girl will marry a guy who lives at home with mom. I have a 42 year old friend who’s mom lives with him and every single girl he meets tells him the ereason is because of mom. You can’t blame them. No girl is going want to marry someone and have mom living there. That just isn’t right.
OP should give it a shot. Nothing says marriage material and eligible bachelor like a tall, handsome, in shape 47 year old man who lives at his mothers house incapable of cooking or doing his own laundry without mommy.
sorry but where exactly is this guys sin?
Since when is loving Mom a sin?
Since when is working p/t paying 1/2 the bills & inheriting the house, sin?
playing video games which is probably a very inexpensive hobby
Hot, works out, eats right. Shops at whole foods market
That is very desirable!!
With 20 hrs or so of extra time spent on his wife since he only works p/t from home.
Maybe he has a vegetable garden since he's into health?
Really people, you are showing how messed up u are!
Guy isn't into meeting at clubs, screwing around with strangers
Not divorced. He's not starting threads on C/D talking about casual hook up's yet omitting the BIG ISSUE- The STD risk
Wet blankets not allowed in the relationship forum
I work 24 hrs a week with benefits for myself
4% match
Also retiree benefits starting at 65 of- dental, eye, & prescription drug plan
The remaining 16 hrs is not feasible for me to bother working.
Maybe he realized that the extra 16 hrs gets taxed at a much higher rate
Truthfully, after filling in, I work 30 hrs per wk.
But I am only required to work 24 hrs.
I say this with love man this is an eye opening thread!!!
.
Last edited by RuralDweller; 09-10-2018 at 09:30 PM..
Nearly 30 years after one should have become independent? How many 18 year old people (not including those living in college dorms) are independent and actually live on their own? Tell me that?
Sounds like more (ignorant) assumptions from you.
Perhaps I missed the OP saying this, but you seem to imply this man has never lived on his own? Why is that? Your bit about how he “Has not yet managed to become a functional adult” implies this man has never lived outside of his mother’s house, and unless I’ve missed something (I apologize if I did), we don’t know that he’s never been out on his own.
Yes, nearly 30 years. You quoted it and repeated it, so surely you saw it. Do you not know the meaning of the word "nearly"? How unfortunate.
IME, kids who have never taken care of themselves are fine with someone else doing their laundry, cooking their meals, etc. Adults who have been responsible for all of that do not expect someone else to do it for them. Certainly not while they work part-time and play video games. They realize what an imposition it is.
IME, kids who have never taken care of themselves are fine with someone else doing their laundry, cooking their meals, etc.
It took me about long enough to study, study, study, and graduate high school, and study, study, study until I graduated college. Up until then I figured my job was to do what my parents told me, and they told me to get a college degree! Once I got my sheep skin I became very uncomfortable sucking off my parents, and already had a job when I graduated. I paid rent to my parents one year until I could save up enough to rent my own apartment.
Maybe I am being too harsh. I'll just say that I respect people who trained for their career and then got a job and became self supporting.
I'm curious to hear if our OP's man has some additional positive features not yet mentioned. What I respect most in people is what they have accomplished with their lives.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
man this is an eye opening thread!!!