Dating a guy 47yo who still lives at home with mom (boyfriend, love)
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I'm surprised (not even slightly) that this thread seems designed solely to ridicule a man who defies societal expectations. Because surely had we all said the OP should grab this tall hunk of handsomeness she would have, so it's really about wanting us to vote and all.
My sarcasm is a little out of control today, but this crap gets old. Women don't like guys who live with mom, but apparently they do like pro athletes. The things I learn here.
Pro athletes probably at least make enough to get their 80 year old mom a housekeeper if they're living with them
I know its unusual setup and most of the time you'd be advised not to pursue.
I'm just thinking of my own experience. My career is flexible enough that I can work from home (probably at reduced pay) if I did consulting too. And if a dear family member had lived longer, I absolutely would have asked him to move-in with me or moved-in with him. In the final years of his life, he was always the 'nominal' head of his household but I lived nearly 1/3 of time at his home -- cleaning, cooking meals, doctors appointments, balancing checkbook, etc anyway.
Also, at first I thought about OP's date playing video games for long periods of time at 47 is a red flag too. But then I thought about it.... In the past year and half, (on average) how many hours a week have I spent on CD/CDr? I then quickly humbled myself.
That's wholly different. What you are talking about and willing to do is very honorable and admirable. Respect to you. It's not freeloading and I thinks OP's dude is.
I'm surprised (not even slightly) that this thread seems designed solely to ridicule a man who defies societal expectations. Because surely had we all said the OP should grab this tall hunk of handsomeness she would have, so it's really about wanting us to vote and all.
My sarcasm is a little out of control today, but this crap gets old. Women don't like guys who live with mom, but apparently they do like pro athletes. The things I learn here.
I think JerZ post was right. This guy just seems (from info we have) not to be 'helping' all that much. Now some 80 year olds can be fierce in their independence (I definitely know) but still.....
No videogames for me if 80 year old mom is slaving over laundry. Period.
I'm surprised (not even slightly) that this thread seems designed solely to ridicule a man who defies societal expectations. Because surely had we all said the OP should grab this tall hunk of handsomeness she would have, so it's really about wanting us to vote and all.
My sarcasm is a little out of control today, but this crap gets old. Women don't like guys who live with mom, but apparently they do like pro athletes. The things I learn here.
No, it's not a simple matter of "defying societal expectations". It is that he appears to be immature and dependent on his mother in ways that make a mature romantic relationship improbable.
I'm a woman and I can't imagine what guy would want to date me if I were 47, still living with my dad who did my laundry and my cooking, and I kind of had a part time job in my pajamas, or maybe not, just...I was....a consultant, leave it at that. No car. No plans to change any part of any of this. But come over, have dinner that my dad just cooked and we'll all talk.
There is NO guy I can think of who would come near that for any sort of relationship. Even when I was only 25 the men I dated expected me to be fully self-supporting. Luckily, at that point I already had been for a few years. At 47? Sitting in my jammies kinda sorta not exactly working sometimes while my mother put a plate of eggs in front of me? And I grabbed the plate to go scoop eggs while playing video games? How is this a gender thing? How many guys here would be all about this scenario?
No, not everyone wants to get or be married or be in a full-time relationship. There's nothing wrong with that.
I know and have known couples who are in a long-term, committed and monogamous relationship who are not married and do not live together and do not see each other every day, and they love that arrangement. It works from them and they are no less committed to each other than partners who are in a "traditional" relationship. There is nothing wrong with relationships that are defined by the two people in it and not by societal standards or norms (whatever that means).
I think JerZ post was right. This guy just seems (from info we have) not to be 'helping' all that much. Now some 80 year olds can be fierce in their independence (I definitely know) but still.....
No videogames for me if 80 year old mom is slaving over laundry. Period.
Having a warm relationship with an elderly parent and a flexible schedule are great, but I'm guessing that most women would look at this guy and think, "if we got involved long term, would he expect me to do his laundry? Would I come home from work to find him in the same spot on the couch playing video games?" That's not really sexy.
This whole thing seems very creepy to me, like something out of a movie. One night Mom puts something in your dinner and you wake up chained in the cellar. There’s red flags all over this and as many posters mentioned I’d get out of this early and not pursue any further. Also I’d never set foot in that Whole Foods again so I could avoid him.
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