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No, not everyone wants to get or be married or be in a full-time relationship. There's nothing wrong with that.
I know and have known couples who are in a long-term, committed and monogamous relationship who are not married and do not live together and do not see each other every day, and they love that arrangement. It works from them and they are no less committed to each other than partners who are in a "traditional" relationship. There is nothing wrong with relationships that are defined by the two people in it and not by societal standards or norms (whatever that means).
Yeah, not for me. I like traditional so I stick to my view.
I don't like the idea that his age and never married status are the issues. Maybe he hasn't met the right one. I sure haven't! Yet... I hope. Lol. The issue is age/ marital status AND all the other issues.
Not enough info, way too much speculation.
We don't know why he lives with his mom. We don't know if his part time job is supporting him, if he puts it into household, or if there is any financial arrangement.
We don't know why he doesn't have car - is there a great public transportation net? Is he using mom's car because she is not driving anymore?
We don't know anything about his mom - does she likes to cook and is happy to have something to do. Cooking for one or two isn't that much different. Perhaps that's her part of household share she is happily doing?
What kind of slaving is involved with doing laundry? She isn't going to wash it in the river. She puts it into automatic washer, most likely with her own stuff and turn on the knob. We don't know if she is ironing and folding his stuff after it gets washed. Again, we don't know their household arrangements.
What he does after work is no one's business. He isn't married. He plays games, others go for a drink, watch porn or sit all day at CDR and ridicule other people lifestyles...
To each his own...
Not enough info, way too much speculation.
We don't know why he lives with his mom. We don't know if his part time job is supporting him, if he put it into household, or if there is any financial arrangement.
We don't know why he doesn't have car - is there a great public transportation net? Is he using mom's car because she is not driving anymore?
We don't know anything about his mom - does she likes to cook and is happy to have something to do. Cooking for one or two isn't that much different. Perhaps that's her part of household share she is happily doing?
What kind of slaving is involved with doing laundry? She isn't going to wash it in the river. She puts it into automatic washer, most likely with her own stuff and turn on the knob. We don't know if she is ironing and folding his stuff after it gets washed. Again, we don't know their household arrangements.
What he does after work is no one's business. He isn't married. He plays games, others go for a drink, watch porn or sit all day at CDR and ridicule other people lifestyles...
To each his own...
I'm a woman and I can't imagine what guy would want to date me if I were 47, still living with my dad who did my laundry and my cooking, and I kind of had a part time job in my pajamas, or maybe not, just...I was....a consultant, leave it at that. No car. No plans to change any part of any of this. But come over, have dinner that my dad just cooked and we'll all talk.
There is NO guy I can think of who would come near that for any sort of relationship. Even when I was only 25 the men I dated expected me to be fully self-supporting. Luckily, at that point I already had been for a few years. At 47? Sitting in my jammies kinda sorta not exactly working sometimes while my mother put a plate of eggs in front of me? And I grabbed the plate to go scoop eggs while playing video games? How is this a gender thing? How many guys here would be all about this scenario?
But see that's my point (and your post is a starting point, not the inspiration for my comment). This thread isn't a genuine inquiry, because everyone thinks this guy is a loser. Big effing L Loser, actually. No, it's a superfluous opportunity to point out that some men are losers, which of course really needs to be pointed out. Again. Still. Always.
And at the risk of ruining the emotional climax of the above paragraph, Just next door in the "broke up with sick boyfriend" thread people went deep telling the OP to dump the AH jerk, who it turns out pushed her away in a totally predictable fashion AFTER his cancer diagnosis, which was my assumption from the get go. But no, he was an AH who just coincidentally had cancer. Until she said he wasn't.
I mean, cancer tends to ruin your day. That's understood, right?
"Loser" may be too strong a word (and I haven't searched to see if it was used here). I think people were just naturally concerned, given that it's not something we see everyday. But as elina pointed-out, it could be perfectly fine-- if we had the right context. But without that context, we are forced to fill-it-in with best guesses, which haven't been flattering to OP's 'friend'.
But see that's my point. This thread isn't a genuine inquiry, because everyone thinks this guy is a loser. Big effing L Loser, actually. No, it's a superfluous opportunity to point out that some men are losers, which of course really needs to be pointed out. Again. Still. Always.
Why do you say it's not a genuine inquiry? We've all met people who seem okay on the surface, but something about them makes our guts say "no." It's okay to listen to our intuition. If the OP is uncomfortable with this dude's situation, then she has to make a decision about seeing him further. That's what dating is all about.
"Loser" may be too strong a wrong (and I haven't searched to see if it was used here). I think people were just naturally concerned, given that it's not something we see everyday. But elina pointed-out it could be perfectly fine, if we had the right context. But without that context, we are forced to fill-it-in with best guesses.
To me there is enough information in the OP that indicates that this guy doesn't have his mom living at his home to ensure she's taken care of, that is a fine thing to do and is a different thing.
The guy in the OP sounds like a man-child. I have no skin in the game and don't care either way, but that's pretty much how he comes off.
If the genders were reversed it would be a woman-child.
"Loser" may be too strong a word (and I haven't searched to see if it was used here). I think people were just naturally concerned, given that it's not something we see everyday. But as elina pointed-out, it could be perfectly fine-- if we had the right context. But without that context, we are forced to fill-it-in with best guesses, which haven't been flattering to OP's 'friend'.
^^^ Concerned? About what? About his life? Why?
Live and let live!
If OP doesn't like the way he lives his life, then she should stop seeing him. Simple, not?
Why all those nasty guesses? Why those descriptions of him sitting in his PJ playing games while his poor old mommy is cooking for him and slaving doing laundry.
If I remember correctly, OP met him in a grocery store while he was shopping. Perhaps he shop and she cooks? Perhaps they share chores?
Why he is living in her home and not the other way around? Maybe because she has a home, and she wants to live in her home surrounded by stuff that is familiar to her, and has memories. That's what old people do. They want to get old in their own home...
I've always expected a man to bring more to a relationship besides being tall and handsome. Good looks aren't enough, if that's all there is.
Just from the information given, this gentleman has his life all in order, all of his needs met, except for a place to have sex. So, he can live for free, play games, have his mommy cook and clean for him, but he'd like to go over to OP's house to get some sex.
For those of you who are socially awkward men, it is really creepy to ask a woman if you can come over to her house, cook, and have sex. That's just really off.
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