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Why do you say it's not a genuine inquiry? We've all met people who seem okay on the surface, but something about them makes our guts say "no." It's okay to listen to our intuition. If the OP is uncomfortable with this dude's situation, then she has to make a decision about seeing him further. That's what dating is all about.
But if she is uncomfortable with his situation, which she freely admits in all of her posts, where's the dilemma? As elnina said, don't like how he lives, don't see him. Simple, not? Apparently not. We need to wring every bit of negative stereotype out of the deal as possible.
But see that's my point (and your post is a starting point, not the inspiration for my comment). This thread isn't a genuine inquiry, because everyone thinks this guy is a loser. Big effing L Loser, actually. No, it's a superfluous opportunity to point out that some men are losers, which of course really needs to be pointed out. Again. Still. Always.
And at the risk of ruining the emotional climax of the above paragraph, Just next door in the "broke up with sick boyfriend" thread people went deep telling the OP to dump the AH jerk, who it turns out pushed her away in a totally predictable fashion AFTER his cancer diagnosis, which was my assumption from the get go. But no, he was an AH who just coincidentally had cancer. Until she said he wasn't.
I mean, cancer tends to ruin your day. That's understood, right?
Huh? I'm not getting the connection. Also, plenty of men here get told to dump users or whatever other unsavory description. Dump the fat ones. Dump the single mothers. Or, just use them for a wick dip. Dump the woman who wanted the buyer to leave a tip. Dump the feminazi. Unload the old one, why have a 35 who is saggy and doesn't have good eggs? Don't date the single parent, she's just looking to use you to feed her children while she sits around on her lazy ass not working, that's what women do.
Oh yeah, and as for sick...Dump Lupus Girl with no hips and her stupid loser family who likes water.
It's pretty amazing how you manage literally not to see all that, in order to say men get dumped on here.
I've always expected a man to bring more to a relationship besides being tall and handsome. Good looks aren't enough, if that's all there is.
Just from the information given, this gentleman has his life all in order, all of his needs met, except for a place to have sex. So, he can live for free, play games, have his mommy cook and clean for him, but he'd like to go over to OP's house to get some sex.
For those of you who are socially awkward men, it is really creepy to ask a woman if you can come over to her house, cook, and have sex. That's just really off.
Really off and also comical. For some reason it reminds me of my 5 yr old little neighbor who knocked on the door and asked for candy.
^^^ Concerned? About what? About his life? Why?
Live and let live!
If OP doesn't like the way he lives his life, then she should stop seeing him. Simple, not?
Why all those nasty guesses? Why those descriptions of him sitting in his PJ playing games while his poor old mommy is cooking for him and slaving doing laundry.
If I remember correctly, OP met him in a grocery store while he was shopping. Perhaps he shop and she cooks? Perhaps they share chores?
Why he is living in her home and not the other way around? Maybe because she has a home, and she wants to live in her home surrounded by stuff that is familiar to her, and has memories. That's what old people do. They want to get old in their own home...
I understand everything you're saying. If, upon getting more info, what you stated pans out for OP
s friend, then I would absolutely agree with you. I was trying to also be open to this possibility by sharing my own experience too. So I agree with you, it can be perfectly fine and says something positive about his character. We just don't have enough info to know for sure, so I that's why I think people are suggesting OP exercise some caution --albeit in harsh tones from some.
Huh? I'm not getting the connection. Also, plenty of men here get told to dump users or whatever other unsavory description. Dump the fat ones. Dump the single mothers. Or, just use them for a wick dip. Dump the woman who wanted the buyer to leave a tip. Dump the feminazi. Unload the old one, why have a 35 who is saggy and doesn't have good eggs? Don't date the single parent, she's just looking to use you to feed her children while she sits around on her lazy ass not working, that's what women do.
Oh yeah, and as for sick...Dump Lupus Girl with no hips and her stupid loser family who likes water.
It's pretty amazing how you manage literally not to see all that, in order to say men get dumped on here.
While I don't post often, I often see poor behavior from men and call them out on it. Regularly. This month prior to today I think I've commented in 6 threads, and then there's one I started. Of the six threads I chose to respond to, in the Ariana Grande thread I condemned the groping pastor in unequivocal terms and confronted a guy who said his behavior was typical of men, I made a sarcastic remark in the "too many single moms" thread that could only be interpreted as critical of the silly anti-woman OP, and I made several comments in the "emotionally unavailable" thread, pushing back on the consistently misogynistic OP there. And in a fourth I clarified a comment from a woman that another woman had interpreted as entitled, suggesting that the first woman had taken responsibility for her part, which that person later said was what she had meant. Oh, and I screamed back at the screaming at OLD thread.
So I think my vision is fine. When I see men or women getting what I think is unfair treatment here, I intend to comment.
Having a warm relationship with an elderly parent and a flexible schedule are great, but I'm guessing that most women would look at this guy and think, "if we got involved long term, would he expect me to do his laundry? Would I come home from work to find him in the same spot on the couch playing video games?" That's not really sexy.
More than that, is this guy able to hold a job and support his family if needed? I have a feeling that he has some social issues and cannot work a normal job. Just a hunch. His mother enabled him to continue to live his childhood life for over 40 years. He doesn’t know anything else. He is. To going to change.
More than that, is this guy able to hold a job and support his family if needed? I have a feeling that he has some social issues and cannot work a normal job. Just a hunch. His mother enabled him to continue to live his childhood life for over 40 years. He doesn’t know anything else. He is. To going to change.
I agree with this. Mom’s getting something out of the situation or it wouldn’t be going on this long. At this point he most likely is socially awkward yet oddly he had the assertion to approach OP in the store and ask her out for coffee. But he doesn’t appear to be too ambitious and at almost 50 when does he plan on starting?
If a 47 y/o female had roommates at her age, I'd pass for sure. At this age people should be thinking about retirement. 18 years left to 65 and a person still has to rely on parents or other adults? Yeah I'm not subsidizing you.
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