Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I'm not sure what the bigger problem is: the man not thinking and acting like a father or the mother not demanding and expecting that the man she dates will think and act like a father.
The woman is a package deal. If you don't want the entire package then move on.
You're right. The guy gets the woman AND the kids. It doesn't matter if he is not the biological father. He is responsible for those kids too. A lot of these guys are like "get away from me kid, i'm only here for whoopee with your mom and a place to live". That is not being a man.
Had I married a woman with kids, I would have watched over them as a father would and be there for them and spend time with them. No I am not replacing the real father, but I could not just sit there and do nothing.
3. You want your boyfriend to spend quality time with your son--to be the father figure you think your son needs. But from you're saying, your boyfriend does not fill that role/need.
So you have a decision to make because this 31 year old man will not change to be that person you want for your boy.
What's missing in the picture is, what does this boyfriend of yours provide for you? You can not change him. What can you do to change yourself to address your issue and situation? Then do it.
Just looking for a father figure for your kid is not the right way to do it. Finding someone who will love you AND be a father figure (without him being asked to, he should take this up on his own because he is a man) is what you should be looking for.
CAN ANY OF YOU READ???!!!!! Sorry to shout but this thread is very dated by internet forum standards.
The OP's BF IS the father of the child which she later made clear. Before you start jumping in, try actually reading the whole thread first so you know what you're talking about and can create an intelligent response instead of repeating what's been said countless times before because you were too lazy. RANT OVER! I shall now resume eating my crumpets and sipping my afternoon tea ...
CAN ANY OF YOU READ???!!!!! Sorry to shout but this thread is very dated by internet forum standards.
The OP's BF IS the father of the child which she later made clear. Before you start jumping in, try actually reading the whole thread first so you know what you're talking about and can create an intelligent response instead of repeating what's been said countless times before because you were too lazy. RANT OVER! I shall now resume eating my crumpets and sipping my afternoon tea ...
huh? This is from the OP "My boyfriend met me when my son was 3 years old. My son is 9 years now. My son's father never really took care of him. His name isn't on my son's birth certificate." How can the BF be the father?
This thread is lacking a balance of opinion. It seems that the majority of the posters here are completely blasting this guy without taking even a sympathetic glance into his side of the situation. Maybe he just doesn't know how to develop the connection that the OP wants him to have with her son. Understandably, for some men, it's just hard trying to build that bond with a child that you know is not yours.
Furthermore, some posters are charging this guy with coming off as "only here for the snatch", and as being immature. Well, this girl has been with him for 6 years despite his lack of desire to play Dad. I would assume she's getting some kind of benefit from his presence. Something's obviously outweighed this situation enough for her to still be with him. And aren't there parts of this equation that would make her "immature" also? I don't like using that word because it's not an adjective that accurately depicts what's going on. What I think is that poor decision making is to blame on both sides. One of you needs to figure who's going to bend, or who's going to leave.
EDIT: If the BF is the father of the child, disregard most of what I said......
I personally would like to hear the man's side in all of this.
CAN ANY OF YOU READ???!!!!! Sorry to shout but this thread is very dated by internet forum standards.
The OP's BF IS the father of the child which she later made clear. Before you start jumping in, try actually reading the whole thread first so you know what you're talking about and can create an intelligent response instead of repeating what's been said countless times before because you were too lazy. RANT OVER! I shall now resume eating my crumpets and sipping my afternoon tea ...
Are you possibly confusing this thread with another where the boyfriend did turn out to be the dad?
I'm having the same sort of issues with my man. We've only been together 2 months. He spent quality time with my son at first, but now it's changed.
I strongly suggest you start a new thread because this one is old and has already had one revival. The OP was eighteen months ago! Read the previous advice if you like but you'll be better served by starting a new thread that covers your situation as people will most likely respond to the OP rather than you.
You didn't mention how old your son is, if his father is still in the picture or how serious things are with your BF. Have you talked with your boyfriend about his role in your son's life? Is he interested in being a father to him? Two months isn't very long for a relationship, do you even want him to fill that role for your son?
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
