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Your experience sharing gave me new ideas. Maybe I should expand my search to oversea and see if I can find a partner and bring him over to the States. I am Asian female from Taiwan, 2 master degrees, attractive and skinny. I think men oversea who dream about American life would be happy to have me bring them over here and I can be a little picky to ask for a college degree. Most men I dated here in Portland ,OR only have high school diploma or associate degree.
Is there any website you recommend for oversea dating service (provide pre-selected candidates)?
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Originally Posted by pete98146
That's why you can't be in a hurry! I made my now wife wait 3 years before I brought her over. That's a bit overkill. But if done correctly, chat with these ladies and let them know you are NOT in a hurry and this will normally get rid of the girls looking for green cards. What you want is a super smart, nice lady that wants to come over and flex her intelligence, help her family back home a bit and start a family.
My wife graduated in Biology and she got a job in Cebu making $300 a month. She just wanted an opportunity which was not offered in the Phils.
Also by getting a lady that has a 4 year degree, this shows that she has maturity, smarts and has some decision making skills.
Many of my friends in Seattle have brought girls over from Phils. One works at Microsoft, two are teachers, my wife is a dental hygienist, one is a nurse. You get the idea. None left their husbands. Show them love, give them a nice stable environment to live and you'll be the happiest guy on the planet.
Your experience sharing gave me new ideas. Maybe I should expand my search to oversea and see if I can find a partner and bring him over to the States. I am Asian female from Taiwan, 2 master degrees, attractive and skinny. I think men oversea who dream about American life would be happy to have me bring them over here and I can be a little picky to ask for a college degree. Most men I dated here in Portland ,OR only have high school diploma or associate degree.
Is there any website you recommend for oversea dating service (provide pre-selected candidates)?
What sucks is, you always have to be on your toes with some of the people you meet with online dating. Some claim that they dislike multi-daters. Meaning, they go out with you, but don't focus on you specifically if things are going pretty good in the beginning stages.
So people like myself, have to have back up in case a lady, although she'll agree to a 2nd date with me, may actually be lying. Currently, I had a first date go pretty well, and she wholeheartedly agreed to see me again, but I still stay in touch with other women at the same time. Some may view this as unethical, but you have to be prepared for disappointment.
There are some that prefer to date one person at a time, but sometimes you can't do that, so you have to have contingencies in place, aka back up men/women.
It's sad it has to be that way, but that's online dating for you. People always looking for something better. This is why you keep seeing the same people in a given area. No one will ever be good enough. Thus Lovehound's "cat lady" and "dog man" references.
Not saying ALL are like that, but this comes with the online dating territory.
I disagree, most of those years were good(15-21) because I had the freedoms(atleast most of them) of an adult without the responsibilities(21-26 I was happily married with a small child so that's the part I know I can't replicate) Today with my house paid for, and my daughter long grown, I have the freedoms of adulthood without most of the responsibilities, I don't have to slave away at a job I hate anymore(got my expenses waaay down) infact I have a low paying(covers my bills) very flexible job that affords me the time to actually enjoy a relationship(if I find one), much like in my youth when I drove pizza around 5 hours a night and would spend most of the next day hanging out with who ever I was dating at the time(except now we would not be hanging in a shoebox sized apartment with my 4 roommates and whoever they were dating or dragged home from a bar.)
Not a rebel but I can be rebellious, I don't always reject, I only reject when something goes against my core personality or has more downsides than upsides(like the "keep up with the jonsez" mentality.)
I've worn many hats throughout my life, I have always been open to new Ideas, but if those new ideas don't work or make other things worse even if they do work then they get rejected.
most of the advise given here I have tried.
1. try singles meetups = Tried that, they usually end up being "sausage parties" and a waste of time.
In my case, it's tea parties. Women complaining there are not enough men. And I'm like "So what am I , chopped liver"? lol
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2. expand social circle = stressful and unrewarding and it seems most people I can get along with are in the same boat as me.
I can see that happening.
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3. expand search radius = yes it does give me more options but why does it seem the most interested women seem to be at the very edge of the expanded radius? it's almost as if women prefer men to live hours away from them. I have dated long distance in the past and it does not work because we can never spend enough time together(and it feels like either a FWB or HOB type situation).
THis is the only thing I can agree on. I think you should bump it up to an hour long drive? Why? I've done this most my single life as most single women live in the large city an hour from me. The ones that live near me are online dating spinsters. lol
The theory on why some women prefer the distance. I hear that they want their space. They don't want you coming over multiple times a week. It infringes on their independence, stuff like that.
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4. get 3 or 4 girlfriends so when one does not have time another will = Can't do it, the most valuable thing I have is "my word" I feel it sets me apart from other guys, which is why I don't cancel dates(when something else pops up) I hate how it feels when it happens to me so I would not inflict than on others.
I feel ya man. Although that may be sound advice, to have multiple women in case one of them flakes on you...you'd be perpetuating that very thing in society. That'd be doing something that you wouldn't feel ethically comfortable with.
Good on you for not wanting to inflict that on others. You don't want to be "that guy/gal".
You don't want to be PART of the problem.
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5. get another job that pays more = most jobs that pay more tend to be more time demanding, yes the extra disposable income attracts more women, but I end up miserable because I can't spend much time with her because I'm ALWAYS WORKING!!! as the only thing lonelier than not having a partner is having a partner you hardly get to spend time with.
Why the hell would someone get another job beyond the 40 hrs a week you already work? Some people seriously covet their weekends off. Don't ever say that to a government worker, they'd look at you like you'd have 2 heads. LOL
What kind of idiot would take the #5 advice is beyond me. Quite laughable.
Every time I see this thread I think, "Time to fish with dynamite then!" I wonder what that would look like in the dating world. Probably like something out of a bad comedy movie with a cheesy ending.
Your experience sharing gave me new ideas. Maybe I should expand my search to oversea and see if I can find a partner and bring him over to the States. I am Asian female from Taiwan, 2 master degrees, attractive and skinny. I think men oversea who dream about American life would be happy to have me bring them over here and I can be a little picky to ask for a college degree. Most men I dated here in Portland ,OR only have high school diploma or associate degree?
Just remember that you may be putting yourself in the position of many men who have found themselves scammed by such services.
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Originally Posted by ThisTown123
What sucks is, you always have to be on your toes with some of the people you meet with online dating. Some claim that they dislike multi-daters. Meaning, they go out with you, but don't focus on you specifically if things are going pretty good in the beginning stages.
So people like myself, have to have back up in case a lady, although she'll agree to a 2nd date with me, may actually be lying. Currently, I had a first date go pretty well, and she wholeheartedly agreed to see me again, but I still stay in touch with other women at the same time. Some may view this as unethical, but you have to be prepared for disappointment.
Sometimes your posts are just inscrutable.
The object is to get them to go out with you for a first date. It's a sort of dual job interview. You each decide if you ever want to see the other again. I have given this a lot of thought lately (since I plan to increase my OLD activity next month) and my thoughts are that I have been making a practice of jonesing for a second date before the first date is over. I decided to quit that. I see no harm with either party to communicate thanks the next day. I think it's sweet to text goodnight after a date when you get home. — I'll ask for a second date as soon as I think it won't make me look needy. Later that same night looks needy.
If you are not in an exclusive relationship what you described is not unethical. Having a back-up plan is either standard procedure, or has no meaning. If you are not in a relationship all you have is a list of people you dated and people you might date. Having two or more names on the list is pretty much standard. An engineer might even have his list in order of most favorite first!
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Originally Posted by ThisTown123
There are some that prefer to date one person at a time, but sometimes you can't do that, so you have to have contingencies in place, aka back up men/women.
I tried this some months back when a woman I began dating explained she preferred to date one man at a time because juggling more relationships was distracting and confusing. She was tired of OLD and leaving the site so I decided to give it a try. In retrospect I can see the sense in her reasoning although in the end I was left undecided. (We of course broke up.) I decided I might do that again and I might not.
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Originally Posted by ThisTown123
In my case, it's tea parties. Women complaining there are not enough men. And I'm like "So what am I , chopped liver"? lol
Can we make your question multiple choice?
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Originally Posted by Auraliea
Oh well. Nothing wrong with being either one.
I know it's unreasonable but I don't quite understand people who don't like animals/pets. My departed dog was my best friend for two decades and I'm adopting another one day soon. Cats like me although I'm rather neutral on cats. I ignore cats and it bugs them, a human who doesn't try to attract their attention. They usually come over and curl up in my lap. I expect any woman to tolerate my dog, and I have totally decided that if I end up with a cat lover I'll love her cats too.
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Originally Posted by TMBGBlueCanary
Every time I see this thread I think, "Time to fish with dynamite then!" I wonder what that would look like in the dating world. Probably like something out of a bad comedy movie with a cheesy ending.
I like the way you think!
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Originally Posted by redplum33
A guy can't have a cat? A woman can't have a dog?
Regardless, I have a problem with the inference that someone who has a pet is a loser and a failure.
I certainly agree. I heart 4 paws. Fins welcome too, salt or fresh!
I just realized. When screening matches I award extra points for those who are animal lovers. I think it is a good sign of empathy.
The object is to get them to go out with you for a first date. It's a sort of dual job interview. You each decide if you ever want to see the other again. I have given this a lot of thought lately (since I plan to increase my OLD activity next month) and my thoughts are that I have been making a practice of jonesing for a second date before the first date is over. I decided to quit that. I see no harm with either party to communicate thanks the next day. I think it's sweet to text goodnight after a date when you get home. — I'll ask for a second date as soon as I think it won't make me look needy. Later that same night looks needy.
Really? You think it looks needy? Funny, you USED to be that guy that waited until AFTER the first date to ask them out for a 2nd. Until I would get friends asking me, after I told them about my date that night, they'd respond, "So when's the next date?"
Then I would say, "WEll, I haven't asked yet" I dunno, there are some that are of the frame of mind that you should ask for a 2nd date as the 1st date ends. Some have even used this as a rule of thought on some dating message boards.
With my recent date, which I thought went well, I asked her as I walked her to her car, "Would you like to do this again" and with a smile she said "Yes!"
Personally, I don't think it's needy either way because opinions on this method vary.
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might even have his list in order of most favorite first! 
