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It seems no matter what app or dating site I use with little exception I'm seeing the same damn faces over and over, either people I've already dated, gone out with or messaged before and got a "thanks but no thanks" some of these women I saw their adds online consistently for years. POF and OKC seems to think they are possible matches because of shared interests And I would agree but sadly most of them did not.
As soon as I add my search filters BAM!!! the same 20-30 people pop up with maybe a 1 or 2 new ones every few months who moved here from somewhere else.
And its not like my search filters are all that strict I'm open to any race almost any age(15 years either direction but I list 20 just in case because I've seen much older women I find attractive and I would not rule out a woman in her early 20's though I would have to think hard on it.)
I pretty much only filter out women with kids(at home), obese and lives more than 15-20 miles(don't do long distance).
No, I have not yet run out of fish. I’ve gone out with 10 guys from dating sites/apps so far this year and that’s a decent amount for me. Let’s see if I can remember who they were though:
1. Drummer in a band guy
2. Feminist guy (that’s how he described himself)
3. Cute, young paramedic guy
4. Too skinny, tennis coach guy
5. Bald, tattoed guy
6. Older (probably lied about his age) unemployed guy
7. Much better looking in person, wine bar enthusiast guy
8. Video game company guy
9. Nice, but his voice was too effeminate guy
10. Most recent guy (who I’m not going to describe because I actually liked him so I don’t want to jinx it)
Hopefully, I’m not forgetting anyone and I’d be happy to stop at #10 for this year!
Good god. It isn't about being "good enough". How many times do how many people have to say it? Get off relationship blogs (etc). I have met, literally, hundreds of good quality physically good looking intelligent people with their act together over the years from just OLD. Precious few of them am I going to have the type of connection with to pursue a romantic relationship with that may lead to falling in love. Damn few. They were "good enough" in all the freaking check boxes.
THAT IS NOT WHAT IT IS ABOUT.
Well, I don't know what to say. There was a time where I was very discerning about who I contacted online. By discerning, I mean checking thoroughly how well matched we are via beliefs, morals, values, interest, temperament, etc.
Just tonight, I saw a woman with a very well thought out profile and it looked like we matched in every aspect. I sent out a well thoughtout and lengthy emails noting all of them in some fashion. But I got a "thanks, but I don't think we'd make a good match"
And I'm thinking otherwise.
This is where men have become less discerning, and will pretty much email the most vanilla profiles and just scan the profile. Most of them sound a like anyway. So they just shot gun emails left and right, hoping to get a crumb of a 30-min lunch date meet n greet.
What's sad is, some of these women want in a man that they themselves can't bring to the table. It's as if they don't realize their own equal when it comes to looks. IE heavy set woman wants a guy with washboard abs. Same can be said for the fat dudes wanting the models.
I wanted to add...that over the course of the years that these people online, they start to "update" their profile with complaints bout the people contacting them, they voice their frustrations as to the situation they put themselves in and how they can't get a normal, nice guy contacting them.
And I think "You had your shot with me and you blew it!"
Yaaay! Ya never know, it seems like it’s best when you don’t try.
I’m off to a great start, at the end of the year, with a guy who said he’d like to get a dog with me one day. 💕
Well, I don't know what to say. There was a time where I was very discerning about who I contacted online. By discerning, I mean checking thoroughly how well matched we are via beliefs, morals, values, interest, temperament, etc.
Just tonight, I saw a woman with a very well thought out profile and it looked like we matched in every aspect. I sent out a well thoughtout and lengthy emails noting all of them in some fashion. But I got a "thanks, but I don't think we'd make a good match"
And I'm thinking otherwise.
This is where men have become less discerning, and will pretty much email the most vanilla profiles and just scan the profile. Most of them sound a like anyway. So they just shot gun emails left and right, hoping to get a crumb of a 30-min lunch date meet n greet.
What's sad is, some of these women want in a man that they themselves can't bring to the table. It's as if they don't realize their own equal when it comes to looks. IE heavy set woman wants a guy with washboard abs. Same can be said for the fat dudes wanting the models.
That's not "men." It's you and others with a similar experience. Also, consider other factors like your location limiting your options. And just because you think you match on every aspect, on paper, or based on what they advertise, does not mean you are a good match, according to what they're looking for.
I wanted to add...that over the course of the years that these people online, they start to "update" their profile with complaints bout the people contacting them, they voice their frustrations as to the situation they put themselves in and how they can't get a normal, nice guy contacting them.
And I think "You had your shot with me and you blew it!"
You know, karma and all.
You have ill will. You think there’s something wrong with most women, karma, they don’t deserve to find a good match, especially if it isn’t you.
Seriously, I’ve been reading your posts long enough to know that if I was a woman involved with you somehow, I would have a bad vibe— that you don’t particularly like women, and that would make me slink away before I found out all the details. I meet a lot of men, both by choice socially, and in my line of work. This makes me particularly in tune with how they they think about women, or anything else that comes up often in discussion. I ask open-ended questions, I get descriptive adjectives, intent, reaction, attitude.
You might want to be a little more open minded, or forgiving in your assumptions.
I wanted to add...that over the course of the years that these people online, they start to "update" their profile with complaints bout the people contacting them, they voice their frustrations as to the situation they put themselves in and how they can't get a normal, nice guy contacting them.
And I think "You had your shot with me and you blew it!"
You know, karma and all.
Yes, and when all the “nice guys” are like you, men who think women who are above a certain age should have no standards and should date anyone interested, it is no wonder. It is clear you have a double standard. It is absolutely ok for you to be on dati sites for years but not for women. You have no idea why they have not found a match, but they are not obligated to date a guy just because he is interested or looks good on paper- to him.
I wanted to add...that over the course of the years that these people online, they start to "update" their profile with complaints bout the people contacting them, they voice their frustrations as to the situation they put themselves in and how they can't get a normal, nice guy contacting them.
And I think "You had your shot with me and you blew it!"
You know, karma and all.
The site might give you the ability to remove profiles from your search, like Match. That way you don't have to constantly see them.
I'd be lying if I'd said I didn't (a few times) have such thoughts too. But the key is to check yourself when you do. It's not always about you/me but what she predicts the combination of two you will create. Together you might make the greatest chocolate and caramel candy bar ever created, but she just might be in a Reeses Peanut Butter cup mood. "You're great but just not quite what I want", is not a knock. That said I do believe in compromise and not being myopic about checklists, but not everyone subscribes to that thinking.
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And I would agree but sadly most of them did not.
