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I have no problem traveling an hr for a date....I have to because where I live it's mostly rednecks, married people and retirees.
I do see the occasional pretty single lady pop up in my area, but they are few and far between and so far have been unresponsive.
Thus my reason to cast my net wider.
However, some women think that I'm too far for THEM. Had a few in the city in question call where I live "long distance "
It appears you and I see it exactly the same. If you pick 50 miles you are getting 4X the matches than 25 miles.
Gang, let's think this over. This is my reasoning why you should pick 50 miles. You'll get 4x the matches but here is the secret: set higher standards for the matches you get at 25-50 miles away. You still have your 25 mile prime area included, plus you get the cream of the crop at 25-50 miles distance. Decide on each match whether s/he is worth driving another 25 miles.
Our OP should consider the above. Just because you double your radius does not mean you will necessarily be dating them. Decide for yourself on a case by case basis, cherry pick them. You'll get a few additional premium matches at only the cost of having to read more profiles.
Don't anybody tell me you are too lazy to read profiles. And in setting your distance remember you two can meet at the half-way point. If you become a couple one of you can move.
Quote:
Originally Posted by RamenAddict
The OP seems to have some idealized view of the past that does not exist. People dated outside of a 20-mile radius if they lived in a geographic area that demanded it. If you live in an area with one urban core and most people work elsewhere or in an area that is spread out geographically, that happens. No one has to give up a demanding career to be dateable. Doctors and lawyers get married and have kids all the time, even though medical residents in the “good old days” had no hourly caps like they have now and attorneys still had to bill like crazy. People got married a bit younger, but not by much and most of the people having kids older are the OP’s peers.
I started dating at 16 and I'm older than the OP now, and I just don't agree that dating has changed that much. Two things:
1. I've found OLD gets me many more matches than before the Internet.
2. I think that changes in our culture not directly related to OLD or cellphones/texting have caused the negative changes. I attribute it to our media and particularly to today's cutthroat political environment. Just in the last few years politics has IMO dropped compatibility by 50% because peoples' politics have become so polarized.
I'm not blaming cellphones, texting, OLD sites, any of that. I am blaming the media, FB and social media in general, and I am blaming America for letting our country get this polarized and messed up.
It used to be we had 50% of humanity to pick from: our opposite gender. Now we also have to be politically compatible! Now it's 25% of humanity. Politics has cut our dating pools almost in half.
Quote:
Originally Posted by chiluvr1228
If they are who they say they are you can look them up on Google, Facebook and where I live I can look up his property address (if he says he owns a home) on the Property Appraiser's website. I know that you can also Google their profile picture to see if it is real. Then I go to the Sheriff's website to see if he is a felon or if he has ever been accused of domestic violence, etc. If they are registered to vote there is a lot of info there also depending on where you live. I'm in Florida and if you Google my name you will get my address, phone # and political party that I am affiliated with. There is no privacy these days.
Thanks for the info! You have given me a few new ideas. I'm not obsessive but it makes sense to use whatever technology we have.
Quote:
Originally Posted by chiluvr1228
Nowadays, I would think it almost impossible to not know something about a person before meeting them. And I always meet them in a public place and take my own car. Don't leave your drink unattended either if you get up to use the restroom. I always text the guys info to a family member in case I "disappear".
Good advice! Men would do well to heed that too. I've had a few women who actually gave me their home address so I could pick them up on our first date. I gave my "almost sister" my date's info and told her to call LE if she didn't hear from me the next day.
I take points off when a woman gives me her home address without my asking. I'd like to know the vicinity, maybe a major intersection, but I don't want to date careless women, that's part of intelligence. I don't date dummies.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ThisTown123
Well, on Match.com...some times they would use their first name and that's all you need to find them on Facebook. and if you live in a small city, they sometimes pop up on the top of the search list.
That only works in a small city. Here in Los Angeles I know my favorite date's full name but it is the virtual equivalent of Jane Smith. There would be hundreds of people with her same name here in LA, maybe more. Too many hits to have any chance.
TBH I usually ignore links people post but I did read your POF forum link. In that topic Sweet Danimal had the reply I would have made. Don't put that FB stuff up if you don't want strangers reading it, or set your FB page privacy so that only friends can see it. .... I killed my FB account when I realized how pernicious FB is. .... Oops, we got compromised again!
Please +rep Dan for me if you can and if they have rep.
You are so, so, so caught up in image. Like high schoolers are.
Maybe it's time to talk to someone. You stopped progressing (emotionally) at a certain point. There are probably reasons. I don't know whether anyone here can really help you. I really do hope you work all this out.
If you want to find a 45-plus-year-old (i.e. age appropriate) pale skinny woman who still talks about how "when you grow up your soul dies," doesn't have a financial plan for when she's retirement age (in barely a decade and a half), still dresses like it's 30 years ago, doesn't go out until night and sticks her middle finger up any time she sees a camera, go to the worst bar you can find at 1:59 AM. Just trust me on this one. You're welcome.
I mean, you'll probably have to deal with her addiction issues, but hey, at least she doesn't look like a soccer mom, right?
Well, this looks like an entertaining thread. I need to go back and read all the previous 16 pages.
In short, yes. I ran out of options locally within a year of moving where I now live. My current relationship is long distance (3 hour drive) and neither of us is from this part of the country. If this doesn't work out (I'm very unsure) then I'm done unless I can move back east. Its seriously not worth the effort to try where I live.
And I actually live in the 15th largest city in the country(fort worth) which is the sister city of the 9th largest city in the country(Dallas) problem is when you eliminate women with young children at home(I've met many women my age with 3-12 year olds and I'm 48 WTF), obese women(Texas is the 6th fattest state in the country) , women already married or in relationships(people marry young here and the good ones tend to stay married and since 78% of divorces are filed by women we are dependent on early death of a husband or a stupid husband trading a good one in), women with the "keep up wit da jonzez" mentality,and social butterfly types, there ain't a whole lot left to go around for okay looking, in decent shape, non materialistic, functional income(has the basics covered), guys with no children living with them and the free time and heart to devote to a relationship.
I'm not asking for the moon just seeking a rewarding relationship.
Yeah, so you live fairly close (3 hours south) of me. Try living in Oklahoma City and your options diminish by 90% from where you already are.
I mean, you'll probably have to deal with her addiction issues, but hey, at least she doesn't look like a soccer mom, right?
Sometimes if it is too grungy, the women might not be single. I remember back in the day, that was where all the women who wanted to have affairs went. I suppose the OP is complaining that times have changed, so maybe now that bar is like the same women but they are now single because their husbands divorced them and the affairs fizzled?
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,981,862 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by Atlguy39
I knew there was a reason I put you on ignore. Time to do that again.
Go ahead. It won't change anything. It's still not the area. It's not like you're in small city, or even medium sized city.
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There is no privacy these days.
You have given me a few new ideas. I'm not obsessive but it makes sense to use whatever technology we have.
