Do you feel you have run out of fish in your area? (how to, divorced)
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That can be difficult...I know it's hard, but maybe you should just tell him? Trying to fade someone away can be really painful...you know you're hurting the person...you can hear the confusion in the person's voice, and the hope...it's really sad. I don't know him, obviously, but I think most people are better of "just knowing"...you know?
I will tell him no lies. He's just one who likes to hold onto fantasy but I am always realistic. I will be real with him, it just takes him longer to accept it. It's more to do with his view of himself than his view of me. That is why I say it won't be swift. But if he starts getting on my nerves, trust me, I will axe him.
Its a great city. Has everything you could ever need.
Well, its the formula I've heard forever. My mother was 12 years younger than my father. He was 39 and she 27 when they got married. In reality, I would go up to 15 years younger. I don't have to date my age because I'm in decent shape and look younger thanks to good genes and taking care of myself. Furthermore, in THIS part of the country, the women my age look much, much older and have let themselves go completely.
This doesn't apply to only women. The guys my age (63) look much older or maybe I'm expecting too much? I have been on enough internet dates to know that men lie about their height and weight where women lie about their age & weight. The last guy I went out with claimed he had an "athletic" body when in reality he had a typical "dad" body with a bit of a pot belly going on. Nothing wrong with that but when he had the choice to describe himself as average or needs to lose a few he put down athletic. He also claimed he was 5'8" tall as did the guy before him when they weren't much taller than me and I'm just under 5'2" and was not wearing heels. The guy before him put down "average" for weight when he needed to lose around 50 pounds. I even have in my profile that I went a healthy, fit guy who is not overweight. I also think some of us more mature women get more pickier where some get desperate and latch on to anyone willing to give them the time of day.
I've about given up because I realize I don't have time for a relationship where the guy wants to see me a lot. Between my part time job, the gym, training for a race, etc. I just don't feel I have the time to get involved with someone. I told myself if this last guy didn't work out I was done. We had lunch Thursday, I paid my half (my sister said that was a red flag to her that the guy is cheap but she doesn't understand internet dating) and we seemed to hit it off. We spent about 4 hours together and then nothing. He asked me straight away what I was looking for and I told him I was pretty sure I didn't want to marry again or even live with someone but things could change, it wasn't set in stone. He was looking for someone to do things with so he didn't always feel like the 5th wheel when he went out with his friends. Most of the other time after a first date I get a text saying "had a great time, blah, blah, blah and then plans are made for a second date. This time nothing.
P.S. - As I'm typing this I get a text from him saying "welcome to the weekend". Not sure how I want to respond at this point.
The problem with lying about your height, weight, age, or body shape is that the relationship is over the instant you meet on your first date. It never even occurred to me to lie on my profile. I would end up wasting my time and other peoples' time because it's a hassle to meet somebody new OLD and go through the messages, emails, phone calls, until you finally decide to date. People who lie are not helping themselves, and they make the system less productive.
I think the text comment "welcome to the weekend" was just an ice breaker, although I like to think I could come up with something a bit more creative.
This doesn't apply to only women. The guys my age (63) look much older or maybe I'm expecting too much? I have been on enough internet dates to know that men lie about their height and weight where women lie about their age & weight. The last guy I went out with claimed he had an "athletic" body when in reality he had a typical "dad" body with a bit of a pot belly going on. Nothing wrong with that but when he had the choice to describe himself as average or needs to lose a few he put down athletic. He also claimed he was 5'8" tall as did the guy before him when they weren't much taller than me and I'm just under 5'2" and was not wearing heels. The guy before him put down "average" for weight when he needed to lose around 50 pounds. I even have in my profile that I went a healthy, fit guy who is not overweight. I also think some of us more mature women get more pickier where some get desperate and latch on to anyone willing to give them the time of day.
I've about given up because I realize I don't have time for a relationship where the guy wants to see me a lot. Between my part time job, the gym, training for a race, etc. I just don't feel I have the time to get involved with someone. I told myself if this last guy didn't work out I was done. We had lunch Thursday, I paid my half (my sister said that was a red flag to her that the guy is cheap but she doesn't understand internet dating) and we seemed to hit it off. We spent about 4 hours together and then nothing. He asked me straight away what I was looking for and I told him I was pretty sure I didn't want to marry again or even live with someone but things could change, it wasn't set in stone. He was looking for someone to do things with so he didn't always feel like the 5th wheel when he went out with his friends. Most of the other time after a first date I get a text saying "had a great time, blah, blah, blah and then plans are made for a second date. This time nothing.
P.S. - As I'm typing this I get a text from him saying "welcome to the weekend". Not sure how I want to respond at this point.
I wouldn’t respond to it. Just as I wouldn’t expect someone to respond to me if I put no effort into trying to get to know them...And I’m happy that you continue to date, btw, never say never! The experiences are valuable.
He also claimed he was 5'8" tall as did the guy before him when they weren't much taller than me and I'm just under 5'2" and was not wearing heels.
I had a guy claim to be 5'8'' and we get together and he's shorter than me. Like at least an inch and a half shorter. I'm 5'6''.
So I called him out on it. He didn't have an answer as to why he lied and kept trying to change the subject. I kept pushing til he eventually admitted he'd flat-out lied out of shame.
We ended up having tons of amazing sex so it was okay. Hopefully he won't lie to the next woman after seeing it didn't matter to me anyway.
This doesn't apply to only women. The guys my age (63) look much older or maybe I'm expecting too much? I have been on enough internet dates to know that men lie about their height and weight where women lie about their age & weight. The last guy I went out with claimed he had an "athletic" body when in reality he had a typical "dad" body with a bit of a pot belly going on. Nothing wrong with that but when he had the choice to describe himself as average or needs to lose a few he put down athletic. He also claimed he was 5'8" tall as did the guy before him when they weren't much taller than me and I'm just under 5'2" and was not wearing heels. The guy before him put down "average" for weight when he needed to lose around 50 pounds. I even have in my profile that I went a healthy, fit guy who is not overweight. I also think some of us more mature women get more pickier where some get desperate and latch on to anyone willing to give them the time of day.
I've about given up because I realize I don't have time for a relationship where the guy wants to see me a lot. Between my part time job, the gym, training for a race, etc. I just don't feel I have the time to get involved with someone. I told myself if this last guy didn't work out I was done. We had lunch Thursday, I paid my half (my sister said that was a red flag to her that the guy is cheap but she doesn't understand internet dating) and we seemed to hit it off. We spent about 4 hours together and then nothing. He asked me straight away what I was looking for and I told him I was pretty sure I didn't want to marry again or even live with someone but things could change, it wasn't set in stone. He was looking for someone to do things with so he didn't always feel like the 5th wheel when he went out with his friends. Most of the other time after a first date I get a text saying "had a great time, blah, blah, blah and then plans are made for a second date. This time nothing.
P.S. - As I'm typing this I get a text from him saying "welcome to the weekend". Not sure how I want to respond at this point.
The bolded...bullcrap, you have time.. . you're just not into him.
The last guy I went out with claimed he had an "athletic" body when in reality he had a typical "dad" body with a bit of a pot belly going on. Nothing wrong with that but when he had the choice to describe himself as average or needs to lose a few he put down athletic.
When I see these guys online, I assume that they watch football and consider themselves athletic looking due to seeing so many offensive line guys on the field. Or, they used to have an athletic-looking body in their younger years, but have not accepted that it no longer looks that way.
Maybe they lie because they figure their great personality will win you over? As for this comment from ThisTown123:
"...bullcrap, you have time.. . you're just not into him."Did you read the rest that not only mentions my part time job, I go to the gym 3-4 times a week and I'm training for a race? I should add that my 83 year old mother is not well and I have to drive her to the doctor's at least one day a week and this part time job is 40 minutes away. If I wasn't into him I would just say so. I personally don't feel one date is enough to make that determination unless he was a hideous troll like the one guy I went out with who was 5 foot tall and had the most horrible teeth and breath. He texted me after I left the park and I told him I didn't feel we would be a match.
Granted with this new guy I didn't feel sparks but he was pleasant and attractive enough so that I would go out a second time. I don't believe in love at first sight, however I do believe there is lust at first sight. I would rather we become friends, then let it take fire.
Maybe they lie because they figure their great personality will win you over? As for this comment from ThisTown123:
"...bullcrap, you have time.. . you're just not into him."Did you read the rest that not only mentions my part time job, I go to the gym 3-4 times a week and I'm training for a race? I should add that my 83 year old mother is not well and I have to drive her to the doctor's at least one day a week and this part time job is 40 minutes away. If I wasn't into him I would just say so. I personally don't feel one date is enough to make that determination unless he was a hideous troll like the one guy I went out with who was 5 foot tall and had the most horrible teeth and breath. He texted me after I left the park and I told him I didn't feel we would be a match.
Granted with this new guy I didn't feel sparks but he was pleasant and attractive enough so that I would go out a second time. I don't believe in love at first sight, however I do believe there is lust at first sight. I would rather we become friends, then let it take fire.
That poster has also indicated in other threads that women of a certain age shouldn’t be too picky and clearly ARE available to date even if they are working full-time, have a family, a decent amount of activities outside of work and family, etc. They should include their new SO in those activities, clearly, and accept that those other activities should result in a decrease in time in those previous commitments.
Now I think it’s absolutely ridiculous that anyone would expect you to give up training for a race, taking care of your mom, or give up any other commitments that existed before they came into the picture. This is similar to the OP who thinks that people in their 40s onward are the same as people in their early 20s and have no careers, commitments, or family issue to worry about. That is just not realistic. They realize that their family members and friends will likely be around long term while a one-time date off OLD isn’t worth throwing away a 20 year+ friendship for or a 25-year hobby.
I took a gander at Plenty of Fish recently. I took a year off of the site. Went window shopping in there, and there STILL some of the same women from a year ago....I've known they've been on the site much longer than that, too.
The ones that are over 40, never married ,no kids, seem to be the most unrealistic in their expectations. Just slightly more unrealistic though. One was said she only dates men taller than 5'8".... and she's only 5'0" and her age range was only set from 47 (her age) to 50. Only 3 years?
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