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Oh believe me, I know people (all women) who would have it no other way. They will never give up their own homes. Their "partner" is just a tenant. I don't know what is wrong with these wussy guys, guess they like having a mommy taking care of them and making all the decisions.
I would never give up ownership to my house. I learned a long time ago to never depend on a man to provide a roof and not to take the risk of sharing ownership. It is way too easy to become homeless with someone else involved.
I purchased a new bedroom set and all new linens. I cleared two closets for only his items. He didn’t have furniture to bring. But all his kitchen stuff that was not broke, I made room for it. He brought all his pictures of his past relationships and family. He took over my garage.
I don’t know what more I can do to make him feel like it is his place also. He doesn’t want to buy anything for the home jointly.
Maybe it's more about your attitude than how much closet space he has been alotted? Over the 10 or so years I have been reading your posts, you have many times expressed a very rigid, my-way-or-the-highway point of view, on various topics.
Yes, I have. About 14 months ago I moved into a travel trailer my SO owns, which is parked on property he owns. For about 3 years immediately prior, we had lived in my house (he sold his and moved into mine).
Your fiance sounds immature. He also sounds as though he feels powerless, and is dealing with it in an indirect, passive-aggressive way. It is his home, but not his property. What rules? Rules for you? Rules for your kids?
What has been almost 4 years?
Powerless is a word he has used. What does he want power over? Not really anything to “power”. He also always says everyone is disrespecting him. He fails to give examples. Everything is a disrespect in his eyes. And not just us, cashiers and servers are also usually his complaints
He always wants to discipline the kids. He was raised in a very strict house. I would say abusive and have told him anything he learned from his parents should be forgotten because they were terrible.
I am a parent that likes to talk about situations as they come up and don’t punish them for everything. He thinks punishment is the only way to learn. I completely disagree. My kids are both very good so I would say I have done something right and my way is working. No need to alter it
He has never tried to change any of those things. He still asks where things are in the kitchen. It has been almost 4 years! This is now the second longest house I have owned. He has been here almost as long as the rest of us.
His not being happy is really annoying me. He got angry the other day saying he has no say in anything. We have a trip booked in April. I paid for it. I had to get airfare and because it is so costly to fly out on the exact days we originally planned, I had to add days before and after. He tells that I don’t include him. I did include him and said that to fly in exact days would be $750 a person, did he want to pay for the flights?. He said it was crazy. So went with plan b, booked flights a few days before and after for $275. He still wasn’t happy. I just said go or don’t go, doesn’t matter to me. Everything makes him unhappy.
So, is your current fiance the same guy you called BF less than a year ago in this post? If he is the same person, he has certainly undergone a major personality change.
He had no furniture and my house was full when he moved in. I bought a new bedroom set. I have hinted that we need new couches, but he is not interesting going to look. Eventually I will just go do it.
Maybe it's more about your attitude than how much closet space he has been alotted? Over the 10 or so years I have been reading your posts, you have many times expressed a very rigid, my-way-or-the-highway point of view, on various topics.
Well I have ocd and a perfectionist so my rigid way of doing things has benefited me substantially. Very rarely have I found someone that has a better way of doing things. Granted I am all for listening but he brings nothing of substance to the discussion
Powerless is a word he has used. What does he want power over? Not really anything to “power”. He also always says everyone is disrespecting him. He fails to give examples. Everything is a disrespect in his eyes. And not just us, cashiers and servers are also usually his complaints
He always wants to discipline the kids. He was raised in a very strict house. I would say abusive and have told him anything he learned from his parents should be forgotten because they were terrible.
I am a parent that likes to talk about situations as they come up and don’t punish them for everything. He thinks punishment is the only way to learn. I completely disagree. My kids are both very good so I would say I have done something right and my way is working. No need to alter it
Get him out of your house. If he doesn't know that he doesn't have the right to discipline your children, this is not a man who should be in your home. Period.
Why did you take this man into your home? It's rare, if ever, that I've read anything that you've written that cast him in a positive light.
Also, he has and uses his power when he digs in his heels, refuses to pull his own weight both when it comes to chores around the house and financially, and exercises passive-aggressive behaviors. Make no mistake about that.
So, is your current fiance the same guy you called BF less than a year ago in this post? If he is the same person, he has certainly undergone a major personality change.
For whatever reason and/or blame, he seems to constantly have one foot out the door. The two of you cannot even get dinner on the table with it becoming a power battle.
WHY are you staying together?
Addicted to the drama.
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