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I've oft times heard that blended families are extremely hard....
That being said, I was dating a very nice man, honestly sweet man...it seemed we were hitting it off quit well, went out to dinner together a few times and spoke on the phone. During our 2nd last conversation he said that his daughter was coming to live with him, b/c she was a recovering drug addict.
I am and always have been very afraid of drugs...and was going thru an extremely tramatic experience with my then DIL.
The last time he phones I was honest, and tried to gently tell him that I thought we shouldn't see each other again...b/c at that time, I couldn't deal with his daughter's problem. From his story I believe both parents were enablers....
He thanked me and said, "that must have been very hard for you to say and do", and it was...but to this day believe it was for the best.
I've known people with blended families, some work, some do not, it depends on the couple and if they are on board with each other. There is much to consider.
I've oft times heard that blended families are extremely hard....
That being said, I was dating a very nice man, honestly sweet man...it seemed we were hitting it off quit well, went out to dinner together a few times and spoke on the phone. During our 2nd last conversation he said that his daughter was coming to live with him, b/c she was a recovering drug addict.
I am and always have been very afraid of drugs...and was going thru an extremely tramatic experience with my then DIL.
The last time he phones I was honest, and tried to gently tell him that I thought we shouldn't see each other again...b/c at that time, I couldn't deal with his daughter's problem. From his story I believe both parents were enablers....
He thanked me and said, "that must have been very hard for you to say and do", and it was...but to this day believe it was for the best.
I've known people with blended families, some work, some do not, it depends on the couple and if they are on board with each other. There is much to consider.
For me it was other people outside of the couple that had influence over it. When you date someone with a kid you're not just dating them you're dating their kid you're dating their parents too.
Highly unlikely. I think most men tend to avoid this out of hand, most especially if the woman was never married or had multiple kids from different fathers.
I am long past that concern, but it was definitely an issue when I was dating after I divorced my ex. The children always take priority, and rightly so in most cases.
I preferred dating women without children, but that isn't always possible in 20 to 45 age range. So, it then becomes about specifics. I had my own child, early teens, and would not date anyone with children more than a couple of years younger; if it became a LTR, we'd be dealing with similar issues affecting time, activities, etc., and have a good idea when it would be just us without kids around the house.
Dating someone with preschool children is a huge issue, IMO, unless you have kids of the same age. There is so little time to spend just as a couple, and huge responsibilities even as the non-parent.
This thread below would be a reason for me not to date anyone with kids. It would be a total nightmare for me to have to deal with his ex all the frigging time for the rest of my life.
I must have lived in a different universe since I haven’t met any man who has issues with me being a divorced mother, even when my child was very young. Some were single father of one, and some have no kid at all. I think because I have no drama with my ex. We co-parent well (50/50), and I don’t need any man to be the father figure for my child or to support us financially. All the men I’ve dated are more well off than I do financially, even I’m doing pretty well myself. Most of them even said that they’ll be willing to take care of us financially (if we get married), so I don’t have to work anymore if I want to stay home and take care of my child. I’ve never accepted their offer, of course. I like my independence, and am not sure if I’ve wanted to get married again.
I think if the single parent is responsible, has many desirable qualities, and can take care of his/her child(ren), and have no drama with the ex, she/he is still a good catch.
Highly unlikely. I think most men tend to avoid this out of hand, most especially if the woman was never married or had multiple kids from different fathers.
l would never get involved with that.
They can call me whatever they like l don't care buttttt, sorry , wouldn't be happening.
l don't have any stray kids bc l've been very careful all my life in that area and l expect the same from my woman.
I think it's important to be specific about the particulars. I once dated a woman who had a small (8 year old or so) child. I kept an open mind but her inability to manage the child doomed it. For instance instead of sitting around the dinner table and eating a meal, she had to chase him around the living room with a plate of food, trying to get him to eat. He'd keep playing and not eat. Then he'd want a meal at bed time, and it wasn't what we'd eaten or even anything nutritious. I didn't see myself being added to that situation.
Later, I dated a woman with a grown (31 year old) child. The child is on her own a few thousand miles away, has kids of her own, but there was some ongoing drama between mother/daughter. It's a long story but we're married and still deal with some of it. I could do this situation standing on my head compared to the first example.
For long term, I'd say you really have to "marry the family," not just the significant other.
I wouldn’t ever date a woman with children not because of the children, but because, almost by necessity, the father/ex must be involved in their lives and by extension, the mom’s life. It’s my experience that relationships with women who keep their ex within reach, whether required by virtue of having children together, or purely by personal choice (“he’s just a friend!”) are doomed from the start. I did a love triangle once and let me tell everyone reading these words, I will NEVER, I will be DAMNED if I get involved in another love triangle.
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