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It sucks, as harsh as that is. Spontaneity goes out the window. You're 22 and you wanna have fun, you don't want to be with someone that's got those levels of commitments, life is short, have fun, save the adult stuff for later.
There’s also fun moments to be had with a child…especially if you like the child (or possibly want more) and warm up to him or her. Plus not all parents have their child full time…a lot of people now are close to 50/50.
There’s also fun moments to be had with a child…especially if you like the child (or possibly want more) and warm up to him or her. Plus not all parents have their child full time…a lot of people now are close to 50/50.
True.
I've been with both and for me the kid situation sucked. No offense to the kids involved. They were fine.
Date, yes. They’re not bringing their kids on the dates. I don’t have to know anything about their kids before I decide whether or not I like the person. I think people who have their dates meet their kids are a little goofy. Maybe many months later.
People are always putting the cart before the horse around here.
Reason why I would date a guy with kids: Because I like him and there’s enough chemistry after meeting to really want to see him again.
Reason why I wouldn’t date a guy with kids: Because I don’t feel enough attraction.
This may or may not be relevant to the thread title. But I'll answer the question, I'd date a woman with kids (or I did in my dating days) because I liked her.
I was dating one gal, we were out with her three little mophead boys at some community function IIRC (it's been a decade or three). Place was jammed, cars parked all along the road, fairly narrow road with lots of traffic. We were waiting to cross.
One of the boys, standing next to me, started to dart out into the road. I caught his motion, I put my hand on his head and stopped him, a car whooshed by just then so odds are high he'd have been dead meat or badly injured at best.
The relationship didn't work out but we parted friends. But I've reflected on that moment quite a few times since, and I wonder if my role in that relationship was simply to be there to save that boy's life at that moment.
Who knows, but it still sends chills down my spine.
There’s also fun moments to be had with a child…especially if you like the child (or possibly want more) and warm up to him or her. Plus not all parents have their child full time…a lot of people now are close to 50/50.
Yeah of course , l've got a daughter myself that's why someone with a child to would work better and that she'll understand it can't be just all about her , my life is very much about my daughter too. And any women with kids their lives will be about her kids first and foremost , and they won't even be my kids and then the whole box of rocks that will come with it is exs and gk's later and everything else.
But l'm not my partners sons step dad l will never be a step dad, not unless supposing there was someone else and their child had lost their dad, then maybe, if they wanted. But otherwise l really hate that shyt , he has a father, and my d has a mother , and that's it , and luckily we totally agree on all that too. l really like her son , but l'm just his mums partner and she gets along great with my d too but, same again.
So supposing there were younger kids , l'd be a bit funny about getting to close to them bc l wouldn't want to confuse them or be in the way of their father .
Dates without the kids? Sure. But I would also be fine with taking the whole family to a zoo or renting a boat and taking the kids out, or taking the entire pack of them camping.
My caution would be that I'm not interested in a guy who is looking for someone that he can put in place to take care of his children to free himself up from the burdon of caring for the kids. And they are out there. I've met several of that type with that agenda. I have no interest in being an unpaid nanny.
Last edited by oregonwoodsmoke; 08-26-2022 at 12:07 PM..
I don't mind dating anyone with (older) kids. But only if the mother of the children is COMPLETELY out of the picture.
I am too jealous to handle birthdays/events with the mom showing up or him hanging out at her house or him texting her if it is not 100% transparent and only about the children.
It wouldn't particularly bother me as long as the kids were well cared for and well behaved. I'm not so much interested in putting up with bratty entitled demanding children, but probably most aren't that spoiled. Kids tend to be normal kids.
This is along my way of thinking. Kids in and of themselves aren’t that big a deal. But seeing how someone PARENTS their kids can be an enlightening experience. Say someone has a sweet angel for a child… and soon enough you find out it’s because the mom/dad beat the crap outta him/her on the daily for minor infractions… or say the kid is a walking reincarnation of Satan and the mom/dad do next to nothing to guide the misguided… those extremes and anything in between… I’d want to see a parent who clearly adores their children, without being a monster or a dictator or a pushover. Shoot, there’s nothing more pathetic than seeing a grown adult being bossed around by a child.
Dates without the kids? Sure. But I would also be fine with taking the whole family to a zoo or renting a boat and taking the kids out, or taking the entire pack of them camping.
My caution would be that I'm not interested in a guy who is looking for someone that he can put in place to take care of his children to free himself up from the burdon of caring for the kids. And they are out there. I've met several of that type with that agenda. I have no interest in being an unpaid nanny.
I had the opposite problem. Love my girls too much, I suppose. Lady I dated grew to resent it. Actually called me weird because I “loved my kids too much, it’s abnormal”. My crime was planning my weeks around them and maximizing the time with them (joint custody… I’d take them every chance I could) which sometimes meant less time with her. It was a mess either way. Resented me for wanting more time with kids, but in her better moods would be so supportive of it.
When people ask about my dating life, I don’t bother sugar coating it. Nobody should settle for 3rd place, and unfortunately for the single ladies out there, I have 2 daughters and that by default means the closest anyone else can get to me is #3. It is what it is, and I love what it is
I had the opposite problem. Love my girls too much, I suppose. Lady I dated grew to resent it. Actually called me weird because I “loved my kids too much, it’s abnormal”. My crime was planning my weeks around them and maximizing the time with them (joint custody… I’d take them every chance I could) which sometimes meant less time with her. It was a mess either way. Resented me for wanting more time with kids, but in her better moods would be so supportive of it.
When people ask about my dating life, I don’t bother sugar coating it. Nobody should settle for 3rd place, and unfortunately for the single ladies out there, I have 2 daughters and that by default means the closest anyone else can get to me is #3. It is what it is, and I love what it is
You sound like a great man to me. A man that steps up and is devoted to his kids is a trait a lot of men don’t have. Sometimes life is a picture where there’s some coloring outside the lines — if a woman can’t see your masterpiece it’s her loss.
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