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I’ve never dated someone with kids but my friends have and said it wasn’t fun.wondering what people have experienced.why they wouldn’t mind it or why they would have a problem with it
I would consider dating a gal based on if the "kids" are independent adults and out of the house. If they're still in the house then I'm not interested. Also, if they're too controlling, that's a dealbreaker.
I was single until I was 38 and a lot of the people in that age group have kids. I always figured I would date a man with kids eventually and I was always uneasy about it. I feel like I would make a terrible parent and did not want an opportunity to find that out for fact and/or mess up some poor kid. Thankfully I met my now husband when I was 38, and he was only 23 and fortunately kid-free. I told him from the get-go that I didn't want kids and if he wanted a life with kids we needed to stop dating because I would not budge on that dealbreaker. We have been together for 6 years now and are very happy. His high school friend group is all starting to have kids now and he sees how their lives are much different from ours, and seems content with his choices.
I was single until I was 38 and a lot of the people in that age group have kids. I always figured I would date a man with kids eventually and I was always uneasy about it. I feel like I would make a terrible parent and did not want an opportunity to find that out for fact and/or mess up some poor kid. Thankfully I met my now husband when I was 38, and he was only 23 and fortunately kid-free. I told him from the get-go that I didn't want kids and if he wanted a life with kids we needed to stop dating because I would not budge on that dealbreaker. We have been together for 6 years now and are very happy. His high school friend group is all starting to have kids now and he sees how their lives are much different from ours, and seems content with his choices.
A woman without kids at 38 would be in high demand by men without and don't want kids. Though at the very least, if you are not an abusive @hole you couldn't be worse than a lot of the appalling step parents I've heard about.
I may eventually settle for a woman with kids. Although I am shy and awkward around kids I at least could be helpful and not abusive. Not all kids are looking for step parents, many just want you to be like a cool aunt/uncle and stay in your lane and not parent.
I'd say the worst case would be the step child actively terrorizes you and the parent is unwilling or unable to correct the behavior. I've heard some horror stories from reddit on that.
Although I understand that women have kids at all ages, in the persons I've most commonly come across, it tends to be either ...
1) Really early, like 18 to 25 with multiple.
2) ~35 when they've settled with career, spouse, and kids.
I've dated #1. That would be kind of a wash because women in that situation my age group would have mostly grown kids at this point. And I wouldn't be part of their life.
#2, in my world, rarely divorces. But I'd be maybe open to being a stepdad if the dad was totally out of the picture.
I mean, I don't regret not having kids yet, but ... I'm not hardline about it either.
I notice people tend to have a really, really hardline stance on this kind of thing and I know why, but it's not me.
I’ve never dated someone with kids but my friends have and said it wasn’t fun.wondering what people have experienced.why they wouldn’t mind it or why they would have a problem with it
I will say the thing that should not be said: I don't like children. In fact, I can't stand being around the little cretins. If I liked them, I would have had some of my own, so it stands to reason that I definitely would not like to be around someone else's screaming brat, never mind deal with ex-wife/girlfriend drama or the drama of Daddy's little princess throwing tantrums because Daddy found a new queen.
That was in my 30s and 40s. In my 50s, I don't want to deal with Johnny Failed to Launch living in Daddy's basement in addition to Daddy's now-adult little princess throwing tantrums because Daddy found a new queen.
Nope. I have no kids. If I were to get into a relationship, and heaven forbid fall in love and remarry, he would be my top priority. I would want and expect no less from him, and that just isn't possible if he has kids.
I will say the thing that should not be said: I don't like children. In fact, I can't stand being around the little cretins. If I liked them, I would have had some of my own, so it stands to reason that I definitely would not like to be around someone else's screaming brat, never mind deal with ex-wife/girlfriend drama or the drama of Daddy's little princess throwing tantrums because Daddy found a new queen.
That was in my 30s and 40s. In my 50s, I don't want to deal with Johnny Failed to Launch living in Daddy's basement in addition to Daddy's now-adult little princess throwing tantrums because Daddy found a new queen.
Nope. I have no kids. If I were to get into a relationship, and heaven forbid fall in love and remarry, he would be my top priority. I would want and expect no less from him, and that just isn't possible if he has kids.
Well said. And there is nothing wrong with up and saying you don't like or want kids.
I had a neighbor who was interested in dating but there was no chance after he told me his adult daughter broke up every relationship he had to protect her inheritance. I happily held out for a child free relationship...well, except for our four legged kids who bring us much joy!
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