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Obviously you can try counseling, but be prepared to divorce. Your wife has gone all the way down the rabbit hole and is coo-coo for cocoa puffs. That's just my opinion and I am able to admit I could be wrong.
I don't care if my friends lean right or left . I am not be afraid of vaccines, nor or have I quit living. I am going to see a play this weekend. It's the only theater I am aware of that still requires masks. I am not going to whine about it. Then we will go to a restaurant with no masks. *Shrug. Politicans will tell us anything to get our votes. If only people would look at what politicians do and how they behave instead of what they say.
Good luck on finding common ground with your wife. If you can't meet in the middle somewhere, how do you Invision your future? You are unhappy. How long do you want to live that way?
Thanks for the thoughts. I agree with "prepare for a divorce". Its been 2.5 years. We've tried to make it work its just not happening. She is living in a different universe than I am.
Thanks for the thoughts. I agree with "prepare for a divorce". Its been 2.5 years. We've tried to make it work its just not happening. She is living in a different universe than I am.
I kind of have seen this first hand when a sister-in-law joined the Scientologists. Destroyed their family. In retrospect, her husband should have drawn a line in the sand far earlier, but instead tried to be accommodating. As a result she did things like secretly get new credit cards and max them out to send the Scientologist money--And he STILL didn't do anything about it.
Same kind of thing in a way. She's chosen a belief system over you. And I'm not sure how you repair the damage.
I remember you previously posting on one of the forums about your wife refusing the vaccine. This is really a tough one because it really is cult-like behavior from your wife.
I'm sorry. Like others I'd see a counselor alone to talk it through. Perhaps later your wife can join you.
I'm curious about how your children are reacting to her belief changes?
I wonder some kind of "intervention" might work if your children are in agreement with it.
No its called "shedding". A lot of holistic health people believe this theory. That it can go off of me and onto her. Crazy I know.... But that is what I'm dealing with. You can look it up on the internet.
OP, I know a number of holistic health practitioners, "alternative" health practitioners, from MD's to acupuncturists to nurses who got trained in allergy elimination techniques, a fair gamut. None of them have ever mentioned "shedding". This is crackpot stuff. It sounds like your wife has found a fringe crowd, who search out and follow theories that tell them what they want to hear. It sounds like she has her in-crowd that supports her and cheerleads her, which means she could be lost to you. They have her ear and possibly her heart, metaphorically speaking.
This is sad. Did you mention, you've already been to counseling? Maybe you should meet with a divorce lawyer, especially if your wife hasn't worked and has been dependent on your income all these years, to see if there's a way to soften the economic blow in the case of divorce. They don't always charge for the initial meeting and consult.
I remember you previously posting on one of the forums about your wife refusing the vaccine. This is really a tough one because it really is cult-like behavior from your wife.
I'm sorry. Like others I'd see a counselor alone to talk it through. Perhaps later your wife can join you.
I'm curious about how your children are reacting to her belief changes?
I wonder some kind of "intervention" might work if your children are in agreement with it.
Good question. I'm wondering how the couple got through the vaxx mandates for the kids. Did they fight about it repeatedly? Are the kids vaxxed?
"Cult-like" is a good word for it. She's joined a cult, and the other members not only encourage her, they serve to reinforce her new beliefs and prevent her from straying from the cult. Another sign of cult behavior is, that they try to separate new members from their family and loved ones. That's what this wacky theory about "shedding" is doing. It makes the OP the bad guy, who's not "safe" for her to be around.
What makes this situation worse is that there is no remedy for it. When people are driven by fantasies, by resentment, by an internalized sense of inferiority, there is no redemption in anything. Winning elections, burning effigies, even shooting at other citizens does not soothe their anger but instead deepens the spiritual and moral void that haunts them.
and
I spoke with one of the original Never Trumpers over the weekend, a man who has lost friends and family because of his opposition to Trump, and he told me that one of the most unsettling things to him is that these same pro-Trump family and friends now say that they believe that Trump broke the law—but that they don’t care. They see Trump and his crusade—their crusade against evil, the drama that gives their lives meaning—as more important than the law.
I'm afraid I don't see a lot of hope of you two solving the marital problems because of the cult of personality and all the disinformation, misinformation, and outright lies.
I will say this to you: you are number one. Take care of yourself first. Don't get sucked into the whirlpool created by the sinking ship. Love yourself enough to bail if you have to.
No its called "shedding". A lot of holistic health people believe this theory. That it can go off of me and onto her. Crazy I know.... But that is what I'm dealing with. You can look it up on the internet.
I have a friend who believes in "shedding". She hates being around vaccinated people for that reason. Supposedly, it's the graphene oxide in all the shots that is claimed to cause it. My guess is that your wife thinks that's what's happening...
Wishing you all the best as you both work through this.
I’m going to be straight up. While I would see if she would be amenable to trying counseling, the fact that she has converted to the religion of conspiracy is a clear sign to me that her ability to reason and the presence of logic is not there. The whole problem with conspiracy theorists is they think they know every damn thing. This is a self-delusion and from my experience they go down this hole never to return.
Again, I would try counseling but I’d adjust my expectations and emotionally prepare to not invest too much time and cut bait.
I agree, she is brainwashed and no longer the person you knew. Does she also want to separate? Sounds like it. Cut your losses.
I’m going to be straight up. While I would see if she would be amenable to trying counseling, the fact that she has converted to the religion of conspiracy is a clear sign to me that her ability to reason and the presence of logic is not there. The whole problem with conspiracy theorists is they think they know every damn thing. This is a self-delusion and from my experience they go down this hole never to return.
Again, I would try counseling but I’d adjust my expectations and emotionally prepare to not invest too much time and cut bait.
This is scary.
So you think religion is not the same thing? How can Reason and Logic can be applied to religion? When people 'get' religion, you think they dont go down THAT rabbit hole and lose all perspective, become as-you-say self-delusional and never return to 'normality' ? I think they do.
Unfortunately for me and for you, people in both groups, people with religion and people with conspiracy mindsets, think they are correct and how can anyone NOT in those groups think otherwise.
This is a case of pot calling kettle black.
To the OP - this is my belief, see what you think...
I believe we are in a relationship to grow together from being with that other person. Like 2 friends studying the same subject on the same course, one can help and encourage the other.
There comes a time occasionally when one or the other in a relationship gets ahead or behind with the coursework and there is no longer an opportunity to learn from each other - like one is doing advanced math and the other is not at that stage yet. This means that one needs to seek another teacher or partner to continue on the course. No amount of marriage counselling will sort out the difference.
In my experience, more spiritual growth of one partner often means they need to split and seek another person with whom to continue to advance on their spiritual journey.
lt's always a really sad thing seeing one change to whatever the cost after so long together and their kids. Seems so insane to me l mean you can both change ideals and do different things it shouldn't mean there's any need to split up - we usually do different work and often hobbies too, so what.God these mobs get so damn carried away don't they and so do the fools that get sucked into them, no offense .
She wouldn't be entering menopause too would she ?
At any rate , l agree with others maybe some counseling if poss "might" help although , l've also seen them do even more damage soooo, l'm 50 50 about that one. But together you would think would be better too if you could.
The vac thing , how ridiculous, that wouldn't even be physically possible. But on vaxing my partner wouln't vax , l did myself , so what. She didn't want to l decided to in the end but it doesn't bother either of us. She's v careful but did get Covid once but eh so has half the planet. My d also got it and she was triple vax.
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damn thing. This is a self-delusion and from my experience they go down this hole never to return. 