Why can't I find a "good guy?" (attractive, college, jealous)
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I am so ashamed of being a man after reading this dumpster fire of a thread. No wonder we get such a bad rap…
Look, as a man well on his way to getting married to his S/O, I have to impart to you other gentlemen on this thread that the whole reason why a woman is not interested in being with you is NEVER, and I mean NEVER because you are a “nice guy”, it’s because she’s not into you, and that will never change.
You guys need to find a girl who IS into you, and yeah, it will most likely take a lot of breakups, hand lotion, and adult films before you meet a woman who is genuinely interested in you as a man. And realize this, it’s a struggle for ALL men, nobody ever said that finding a decent person to enter into a genuine relationship with for the rest of your life would be EASY, and anyone who claims that it was easy are lying.
If you are not 100% certain that a woman is into you, SHE IS NOT INTO YOU. It will be plainly obvious to the most obtuse of people when a woman is attracted to you as a man. You won’t need to wonder or ask questions.
Finally, if nothing else, READ AND REMEMBER THIS: The “getting” the girl part is the most easy and straightforward portion of entire relationship process, the LEAST OF YOUR WORRIES. If you’re in that first phase of dating as a young man and you’re already hopelessly in over your head because you have no idea what the hell you’re doing, be wise and just wait a few more years and mature a bit before entering the dating scene. Save us ALL the TROUBLE.
What a ridiculous thing to say. Most people would absolutely not prefer to be cheated on by a hot person than to be in a relationship with decent person.
cap. given the opportunity, most peeple would go for an n.b.a. player/rock star/rap star/hollywood actor/corporate executive/social media influencer/reality t.v. celebrity/...; rather than, a tow truck driver/daycare worker/teacher/accountant/retail worker/software programmer/... knowing that they will cheat while on tour as long as they can live in a 10 bedroom mansion and not a studio apartment.
Interestingly enough, movie stars and sports stars and magnates (Elon Musk) divorce at a rate far higher than the average person.
You would think ... someone like Jennifer Aniston, Brad Pitt, Michael Jordan, well, they have it all.
Good looking, rich, charismatic, and maybe more importantly, achieved the top of what they set out to do.
So, you'd be inclined to think, they get the pick of the 'best of the litter' and of course ... if you get the best of the best and you are the best of the best, it's more inclined to be a lifetime match.
cap. given the opportunity, most peeple would go for an n.b.a. player/rock star/rap star/hollywood actor/corporate executive/social media influencer/reality t.v. celebrity/...; rather than, a tow truck driver/daycare worker/teacher/accountant/retail worker/software programmer/... knowing that they will cheat while on tour as long as they can live in a 10 bedroom mansion and not a studio apartment.
Do you honestly believe this? Average people get involved with other average people and are happy about it every single day. You can look at celebrities or even that mug shot and think, "wow, that person has great bone structure and a symmetrical face," but that doesn't mean you want to get involved with all the drama and the baggage that the actual famous person brings with them.
Because I work mostly remotely now, when I am in the office, I am stationed out in the ranks so to speak.
I am surrounded by younger employees, mostly young women. I am flooded with their chit chat and for many, it is the same topic. Young ladies in our office (meaning 25-35) are often talking about their frustration in finding a guy. They also talk about their limitations in what they consider a “good guy”
The keep asking, “Why can’t I find a ‘good guy?’”
You start out at a small disadvantage in that there are more men than women to begin with, but the difference is fairly small.
If you want someone in your general age bracket, then you are cutting things to about 25% of the men. Unless more than +/- 10 years is workable for you. Maybe 15 years older is OK, but 10 years younger is not (only 5 years), so the impact remains about the same. Slightly but not much impact on the odds if you expand the age range some and if you expand it a lot – well ick.
Somewhat less than half the men under 30 are single or uncommitted. So, now you are at 12.5%. Of course, if you expand the age range, or you are older, that number drops substantially (even though many of those married before 30 are getting divorced after 30, still a good number get married for the first time after 30, so it balances out even at older ranges.
It is estimated that roughly 3% of men are gay, asexual, or some other letter that is incompatible with being in a relationship with a woman. 9.5%
One of the most common comments I hear from young women is they will not date short men. Defining short as 5’9” (the national average), you are cutting the population in half again. 4.75% If you define short as shorter, like 5’7” and under then your odds are a tiny bit better. If taller – then your odds go down. I have heard quite a lot of your women say they are not interested in anyone under 6’. That is going to drop your odds by half again or more, but I will ignore that for now.
Many women also say they do not have any interest in men who are self-centered, self-obsessed, or narcissistic, or looking to replace their mother who has always taken care of them. Being generous with the under 30 crowd, this takes out another half, so 2.375% remain. However since most of those are going to be the ones who are married, you better take half again. 1.1375%
Take away other unacceptable traits. Bald, fat, skinny/scrawny, too muscular, too hairy, undereducated (no college), chew or smoke tobacco, foreign culture (especially misogynistic cultures), pot use, drug use, video game player, heavy drinker or alcoholic, doesn’t earn enough, conceited or snobby, hair or eye color, unacceptable habits (spitting, nose picking, farting in public, etc), bad teeth, acne or acne scars, too religious, nor religious enough, simply ugly. . . . Now you are down to a small fraction of 1%, depending on how many of those conditions apply.
Now take away those to whom you are not attractive. The ones who find you too skinny, too fat, too hairy, too plain, overly made up, breasts too small or too large, butt too small, too large, too flat, too round; over or under-educated, hair color, eye color height, too silly, too serious, overly or under religious, too smart/dumb, too OCD or not clean enough, etc. Now you are down to about .001%.
“But I want a guy who will make me laugh” .0005%
You have about 0 % chance of meeting an eligible guy. If by some miracle you find one, you also have to somehow outdo your competition.
Better off playing the lotto. If you win guys will come flocking to you and your odds of winning the lotto are about the same as they are of meeting that magical unicorn – the good guy.
Do you honestly believe this? Average people get involved with other average people and are happy about it every single day. You can look at celebrities or even that mug shot and think, "wow, that person has great bone structure and a symmetrical face," but that doesn't mean you want to get involved with all the drama and the baggage that the actual famous person brings with them.
true most humans will never meet a celebrity; therefor, those that marry end up with someone average. my original thesis was that most persons would fantasize to win the spousal lottary eventhough it almost always means tolorating a harem of groupys in every city they travel to.
true most humans will never meet a celebrity; therefor, those that marry end up with someone average. my original thesis was that most persons would fantasize to win the spousal lottary eventhough it almost always means tolorating a harem of groupys in every city they travel to.
An attractive woman won't be attracted to the meek, average "good guy", they want a take charge kid of guy who makes a good living, but those types usually cheat so the woman cant win.
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