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Those might very well be interesting jobs, but they're also jobs where someone would almost exclusively be working nights and weekends. If you and your partner are working opposite schedules, it doesn't matter how well-paid or cool the job is if you never see them. Or, like Chow was saying, many high-paying positions require 40+ hours a week and being on-call all the time. On threads like these women always get slammed for being materialistic, but many women would prefer spending actual time with their SO rather than sitting by themselves while SO is at work all the time.
That's immaterial. I just threw an example out there.
Those might very well be interesting jobs, but they're also jobs where someone would almost exclusively be working nights and weekends. If you and your partner are working opposite schedules, it doesn't matter how well-paid or cool the job is if you never see them. Or, like Chow was saying, many high-paying positions require 40+ hours a week and being on-call all the time. On threads like these women always get slammed for being materialistic, but many women would prefer spending actual time with their SO rather than sitting by themselves while SO is at work all the time.
Yeah, I have no issue with those types of jobs, they are fine and all. I just don't think I'd like to be with someone that had to work nights and weekends so much.
To me the 9 to 5 deal is best with weekends off. For some married couples with kids, it might work as they can have someone at home with the kids by having those kinds of schedules but it sucks to not have the time off together.
The main thing I wanted in terms of a man's employment, was a lot more about STABILITY.
I can deal with anything from minimum wage to big bucks, as long as it is stable and reliable. If I know what number to plug into a spreadsheet every month, and it isn't gonna just up and poof unexpectedly and plunge the household into chaos and uncertainty about the future... We're alright.
Learned that one the hard way, though. With someone who would often unexpectedly quit or get fired, and have periods of unemployment that might be weeks, months, or even a year or two during which I just had to "figure it out" between jobs. Mind you, when he was employed, he almost always was earning a higher paycheck than I was at the same point in time. And the sum total he earned during our relationship, and the sum total I earned, were very close. But the unreliability was INCREDIBLY stressful. And it also meant that we would fall into debt, and then when things were better, be working our way out, only to have him lose a job and then back on the debt-wagon just to get by...
It is a bad way to try and live. If instead he had earned less but it was consistent and reliable, we likely would have just adjusted our normal spending levels and lifestyles and expectations in a more sensible way to accommodate what we had coming in. Rather than boom and bust.
In the places that I've lived recently, a household income of $60K if you don't have kids, puts you right on the cusp between "lower middle class" and "middle class." You can live on it. Plenty get by with a lot less. That would be Colorado and Arizona.
But hell, I knew a homeless (couch surfer, con-weasel type) guy once who had NO problem getting women, whether to sleep with or have relationships with. He was also really short, too! But he was a cute little dude with pretty eyes and an acoustic guitar, and he knew where to go to look for the hippie chicks. Still plenty of that sort in a lot of the little mountain towns. And now that I think of it, a friend of mine dated a man who lived out of a sketchy van and who busked on sidewalks for a living. Older fella, British accent.
You don't have to have factors A, B, and C in perfect alignment and abundance, you just have to have SOMETHING going for you (and manage not to have a self sabotaging, destructive attitude, that helps as well.)
A youngish coworker is having similar issues. He’s a former university football player. He’s tall, physically fit, works fully time, and has a side job training horses. Even owns a horse he cares for and takes on trail rides. His issue is the type of women who are attracted to him aren’t the ones he wants a relationship with. His words, he doesn’t want hoodrats or club girls. He wants real women who aren’t loaded with fake eyelashes, high dollar hair styles and weaves, nor expensive nails. He wants country or suburban girls who aren’t afraid to get dirty and won’t treat him like a piece of meat or arm trophy. He did eventually find someone like that through his trail ride events and rodeos. He stayed away from the clubs and bars because that wasn’t where the type of girls he wanted to meet regularly frequent.
My current girlfriend is 47. She wants to stay home all the time. She works in office. I work from home. By the time the weekend rolls around, I've been in the house for five days. I want to get out of the house, and get on the road. I don't know if we can ever reconcile my love for travel, the road, and being active, with her desire to stay home.
If I was single now, I would be looking 18-25, or 50+ active women. I want someone active and vibrant. Someone who wants to get out into life and actually live it. I'm not a couch potato. I don't want my partner to be.
I'm the opposite. I love my boring routines I just want a partner in life to do those normal mundane things in life with and share responsibilities. I workout so not a couch potato and would enjoy traveling and doing outside activities sporadically but some of the profiles I see online are like adventure, excitement, travel travel, travel, airplane symbol, I want to sky dive out of a plane and go swimming with sharks in the great barrier reef and I think yea pass.
But yea I am frustrated with OLD and finding women in general.
A youngish coworker is having similar issues. He’s a former university football player. He’s tall, physically fit, works fully time, and has a side job training horses. Even owns a horse he cares for and takes on trail rides. His issue is the type of women who are attracted to him aren’t the ones he wants a relationship with. His words, he doesn’t want hoodrats or club girls. He wants real women who aren’t loaded with fake eyelashes, high dollar hair styles and weaves, nor expensive nails. He wants country or suburban girls who aren’t afraid to get dirty and won’t treat him like a piece of meat or arm trophy. He did eventually find someone like that through his trail ride events and rodeos. He stayed away from the clubs and bars because that wasn’t where the type of girls he wanted to meet regularly frequent.
I haven't had any matches at all with girls like that mostly on Tinder so don't have that issue but yea I am looking for practical down to earth women not drunken party girls.
It's sometimes hard to know what some women mean when they're talking about a "good guy" because of course everyone wants someone intelligent, hard-working, honest, loyal, caring, brave, fun-loving, humorous, etc. It's often tough to determine what's *really* animating the decisions people are making until you put a real-life person in front of them.
"I'm 5'8 and I like to wear heels, sooooooo....it's going to be a no"
"I make $80,000 per year. It's not that I won't date a man making less but I'm afraid he'll be intimidated by my success."
"He doesn't have to be a model or anything." (Then you show her several of your male FB friends and she says no to all of them except for the small handful that are objectively attractive)
"I don't really care about looks like that. It's personality all day, every day" (same as above)
A youngish coworker is having similar issues. He’s a former university football player. He’s tall, physically fit, works fully time, and has a side job training horses. Even owns a horse he cares for and takes on trail rides. His issue is the type of women who are attracted to him aren’t the ones he wants a relationship with. His words, he doesn’t want hoodrats or club girls. He wants real women who aren’t loaded with fake eyelashes, high dollar hair styles and weaves, nor expensive nails. He wants country or suburban girls who aren’t afraid to get dirty and won’t treat him like a piece of meat or arm trophy. He did eventually find someone like that through his trail ride events and rodeos. He stayed away from the clubs and bars because that wasn’t where the type of girls he wanted to meet regularly frequent.
There are so many "Horse Girls" that I cannot believe he wasn't drowning in them at the stables.
This type of woman is more common than many people think. Way more common, IMO. I have friends I never knew thought this way until years later when we started talking more openly to each other about dating. My reaction after hearing their lists was very similar to Steve Harvey's.
It's sometimes hard to know what some women mean when they're talking about a "good guy" because of course everyone wants someone intelligent, hard-working, honest, loyal, caring, brave, fun-loving, humorous, etc. It's often tough to determine what's *really* animating the decisions people are making until you put a real-life person in front of them.
"I'm 5'8 and I like to wear heels, sooooooo....it's going to be a no"
"I make $80,000 per year. It's not that I won't date a man making less but I'm afraid he'll be intimidated by my success."
"He doesn't have to be a model or anything." (Then you show her several of your male FB friends and she says no to all of them except for the small handful that are objectively attractive)
"I don't really care about looks like that. It's personality all day, every day" (same as above)
OK but in these situations, you are showing a woman photos and asking them to evaluate guys based on photos. Did you give them other criteria? Did they get to meet any of these men in person? Read stuff they wrote or watch videos of them talking, get any feel at all for who they were? No? Then you stomp your foot that they judged based on looks. In the utter absence of any other information.
Sounds like a setup.
Though... I am one who insists (really, I insist) that I don't judge based on looks but I would 100% rule out some guys based on photos...because said photos were not mugshots. They had some context in the photos from which I inferred something about who they were.
How many of the men on dating sites when I was in Colorado Springs in 2015 doing this, either had pot leaf clothing items, or took shirtless dirty bathroom selfies, or had photos that clearly indicated that they're in the military? Lots! I ruled them all out. Because I don't think that their personalities were going to work for me and my ex was a soldier and I wasn't ever going there again, and I don't want weed in my house, so...
Camo clothing? I'm gonna assume you lean right and are into guns. Not compatible.
Cowboy hat and big belt buckle? Not my type.
ICP hatchet man on clothing in the photo? Not my scene.
Was I judging their "looks?" Not really, no. I was inferring information about who they are, from the context they presented in their pictures. Because...is this crazy? Am I wrong?...if you use something as your main profile photo, and it's got something in it that says something, that must be something meaningful to you right? I mean, if that's not what guys are thinking when choosing a photo, maybe they should consider it. Of course there are women who are into all of that stuff! Hopefully those guys find one.
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