Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
This is the same problem with the 'Training' thread.
How is it that each partner is to go about becoming trained?
I person focusing on celibacy, fine, I can respect that. If that is a facet of your personality.
However you don't just change your personality.
There is no guarantee that suddenly after marriage that person will now become a sexually active person.
Maybe for a few months, because that is what they are supposed to be doing, they can put on the act. But sooner or later, the truth will come out. Sex will be a topic which they can simply turn away from and not desire.
So they may well never become 'good' at sex. They will likely never grow to desire sex. It will always be an issue where you are fumbling around with each other, because you only do 'it' annually.
How about good old-fashioned learning together?? We were all virgins at one point you know. Those of us who have very successful sex lives managed to get from point A to point B. It just takes practice And two virgins marrying each other, WHO LOVE ONE ANOTHER, will figure it out.
Your particular situation with your wife has completely colored your views on the subject - most people aren't like your wife. And when they do turn out to be this way there are alternatives - medication, therapy or terminating the relationship.
I am really sorry you are suffering so much, but really, how long will you be content to just stand around and complain all the time? If you aren't willing to do anything else about your situation then I think you should consider accepting your chosen fate and quit complaining. Just my 2 cents.
How about good old-fashioned learning together?? We were all virgins at one point you know. Those of us who have very successful sex lives managed to get from point A to point B. It just takes practice And two virgins marrying each other, WHO LOVE ONE ANOTHER, will figure it out.
Your particular situation with your wife has completely colored your views on the subject - most people aren't like your wife. And when they do turn out to be this way there are alternatives - medication, therapy or terminating the relationship.
I am really sorry you are suffering so much, but really, how long will you be content to just stand around and complain all the time? If you aren't willing to do anything else about your situation then I think you should consider accepting your chosen fate and quit complaining. Just my 2 cents.
All to often they do not 'figure it out'.
Certainly that tab 'A' part goes into slot 'B'.
But training each other to get to the 'good' sex part, does not come naturally.
Having been envolved with couples counseling, it is evident that many couples have issue with this.
BTW, why are you so much on the attack?
Going so far off-topic to make your attacks.
I said nothing here about my marriage, yet you wish to attack me. So much hostility, really this is something which you should try and get over.
The OP here was not how to insult Forest Beekeeper.
But training each other to get to the 'good' sex part, does not come naturally.
Having been envolved with couples counseling, it is evident that many couples have issue with this.
BTW, why are you so much on the attack?
Going so far off-topic to make your attacks.
I said nothing here about my marriage, yet you wish to attack me. So much hostility, really this is something which you should try and get over.
The OP here was not how to insult Forest Beekeeper.
I certainly wasn't in attack mode and will have to reread my post to see what about it made you feel as though I were But I am sorry you feel attacked.
My only point was that your personal bad experience in a sexless marriage has colored your view on the subject to the point that you are not able to be as objective.
That's what you insinuated and I used myself as an example because I am celibate. Anyway, why do you find it odd? Because it's not done by many?
As I said, I was answering the question in general. In fact, I didn't even bother reading past the original post as I don't like to be influenced by other's answers. So I wasn't talking about you. Yes, something that's not the norm is odd.
Well I'll answer my own question. If I met the man that was right for me in every way and he was practicing celibacy, as hard as it would be, I'd wait. But then again I'm just fascinated by men that are spiritually and mentally strong, the type of man that could talk to God for 30 min. a day :swoons:
I hear ya, me to....and to me, that shows strength...
I think I might, possibly, highly likely wait 3 months, if nothing materializes then I'd dump her.
Yeah I have to agree. Even that's pretty long, I mean you are a patient man. I could see maybe, possibly waiting 3 months if she was a pretty awesome girl. But if we're talking like no sexual activity at all, just kissing, wow that'd be a tough three months. Lots of... pent-up frustration. If she was amazing I could go that long I suppose, sure. But I don't think I even want to get married ever, let alone marry a girl without having sex with her, what a stupid idea. I don't buy a car unless I've been able to take it for a test drive, and I only intend to keep a car for 5-10 years, unlike marriage, which is supposed to last forever. Nah, I need to sample the goods first.
If two people were stupid / naive enough to get married without ever having had sex, I hope they at least have the good sense to talk about what they think they would like first. Of course, since it's just talking, who am I kidding, that wouldn't do any good at all. If I am dating a girl who thinks oral sex is nasty, for instance, I dump her. If I married a girl like that, umm, wow. That'd be seriously terrible. There are so many preferences and things people like in the bedroom, that they only learn through actually doing things, that you cannot possibly think it's a good idea to marry two people who haven't ever experienced it and then think it's going to be a great sex life. Not unless they're either both total prudes and only have sex for having kids, or unless they're both totally freaky and will do anything. But otherwise one person is always going to get the short end of that stick.
Yeah I have to agree. Even that's pretty long, I mean you are a patient man. I could see maybe, possibly waiting 3 months if she was a pretty awesome girl. But if we're talking like no sexual activity at all, just kissing, wow that'd be a tough three months. Lots of... pent-up frustration. If she was amazing I could go that long I suppose, sure. But I don't think I even want to get married ever, let alone marry a girl without having sex with her, what a stupid idea. I don't buy a car unless I've been able to take it for a test drive, and I only intend to keep a car for 5-10 years, unlike marriage, which is supposed to last forever. Nah, I need to sample the goods first.
If two people were stupid / naive enough to get married without ever having had sex, I hope they at least have the good sense to talk about what they think they would like first. Of course, since it's just talking, who am I kidding, that wouldn't do any good at all. If I am dating a girl who thinks oral sex is nasty, for instance, I dump her. If I married a girl like that, umm, wow. That'd be seriously terrible. There are so many preferences and things people like in the bedroom, that they only learn through actually doing things, that you cannot possibly think it's a good idea to marry two people who haven't ever experienced it and then think it's going to be a great sex life. Not unless they're either both total prudes and only have sex for having kids, or unless they're both totally freaky and will do anything. But otherwise one person is always going to get the short end of that stick.
"used" woman? give me a break, what an insult. Men are "used" also.
Ding, ding, ding well said....I have two cousins that have been royally abused by women...to the point where I fear one is damaged permanently.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
And two virgins marrying each other, WHO LOVE ONE ANOTHER, will figure it out.
But I am sorry you feel attacked.
