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However, I would have to say it depends on both (1) their maturity, and (2) the time at which their hormones start raging.
I would think that by the time they are old enough to drive, they should be able to date. Also, it's not like you can watch them 24/7. Crap, opportunities to "play doctor" were available before I could drive. Hahaha.
I have three daughters. I talked with them as early as 3 or 4 about how I thought no girl should think about marriage until she had figured out how to take care of herself and knew who she was. I talked about how I thought that while some people might be ready early that others might not know these things until they were 27 or so. In elementary school, because they had no brothers just male cousins, I really pushed the idea that it was important to have both female and male friends, not boyfriends.
If they brought up the idea of dating in middle school I 'd just say, that's not really dating, that's just experimenting. I did not forbid the talk but I made it clear I did not consider it a serious thing and I did not encourage it. If I'd known they were hanging out at a boy's house that parent would get a phone call. That was usually deterrent enough because they had an aunt who got pregnant at 14 and I never hesitated to talk to them about that, in a non-judgmental way.
I have one that started dating in college after going on group dates all the way through High school. For prom, she was anxious and going on about it, and we talked about the difference between going with a real guy friend and a date. Finally I said to her, just pick the person you'd be most comfortable going with and I will pay you $25 to call him right now and ask him to go with you. So she did, and he said yes, and then he asked her to his prom, and they had a good time, and was never all angsty about that stuff again.
My last one had more issues (insecurity) with girlfriends and had a lot of male friends all along. For her, though, she was very immature and in 8th or 9th grade she complained about not dating even though it was obvious she was afraid. I told her that she was not her sister and she was not her friends and I really did not think she was ready to date because she was not that comfortable with herself and I really thought she'd be better off if she waited. She immediately was relieved by that. She is in college now and has had a few dates with low risk fellows and is happy. My third is developmentally disabled and is just now interested in having friends to do things with, including boys. She is also in her twenties. I don't see a problem with any of this.
But why do they have to participate in the pageants. Why can't they just be kids?
My question too.
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