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I found girls more annoying as well. They are also more difficult to handle in the classroom because they get upset over every petty thing and form cliques as young as 3 years old. If I ever had a child I would hope and pray it was a boy. I wouldn't want my daughter to become a brainless bubblehead that goes around saying "whatever" and "oh my god" all day.
I can't believe I just read that! Certainly, you can't believe that all girls are clueless bubbleheads. We haven't had a guy valedictorian of our HS in a few years. It's the boys that lose interest in school and get sucked into World of Warcraft while the girls see the big picture and do well so they can get into good colleges.
You can buy whatever toys you want for your kids and they'll let you know pretty early on what they prefer. This is not the 50's. Both of you are stereotyping what boys and girls are. As a parent of two boys and one girl, I can tell you that nothing is black and white.
I agree that if you don't want kids, you should not have them. It wouldn't be right to bring children into the world that would not be loved totally and unconditionally.
Wait... wait... wait... I thought we were all supposed to behave respectfully towards each other regardless of who we are?
How are our kids supposed to learn how to behave properly if we do not first model and teach them - by doing - the proper behaviors? It's a mirroring task.
True. The level of respect should be different. But children still do deserve respect.
I've come to the conclusion that we've structured our society wrong. We fight our biology.
The greatest gift a person can give is wisdom to a new generation. The act of giving oneself over to another being should be the final act of one's life, yet we do this in the beginning or middle of our adult lives.
It seems to me it would make more sense for young people in their reproductive prime (say about 15-30) to bear children and elders (roughly 60+), after having lived a life in which they fulfill their own self purpose, actually raise the children and transpose that wisdom.
You can see it playing out with those on the top of the economic heap - the more educated, mobile, and financially stable, the later in life they wait to have children until they're up against the extreme of their biology. The least educated and least mobile still have children as early as possible.
A 60+ person raising children... I see lots of problems with that:
1. When saving for retirement, would you also have to worry about saving for raising kids?
2. You could get old and weak before the kids are even grown.
3. Your kids could be expected to have to deal with your death when they're only about 20 themselves. A pretty big burden to be carrying around when you're just trying to get your life started.
True. The level of respect should be different. But children still do deserve respect.
I disagree. Kids should be taught to EARN respect, just like adults do in their lives. They need to earn the respect of their peers, and adults earn the respect of their peers. Kids respect their parents because of the power a parent has in the family.
Merriam-Webster: Respect;to consider deserving of high regard: ESTEEM
Esteem; to set a high value on, admire, revere
Now, I don't know about you, I love my kids, but they have to EARN my respect as they grow into the people they will be in adulthood, with their values and morals developed. I can have respect for their growing space, I can have respect for a certain amount of privacy, but as people, they have to EARN it.
I don't get it. Why come on a Parenting forum to say you're adamant about not having children? That's like barging onto the dog forum to say you don't ever want a dog. Why bother? Discuss your childless lives somewhere else. I happen to like being a parent and can't imagine my life w/o my dd.
I've come to the conclusion that we've structured our society wrong. We fight our biology.
The greatest gift a person can give is wisdom to a new generation. The act of giving oneself over to another being should be the final act of one's life, yet we do this in the beginning or middle of our adult lives.
It seems to me it would make more sense for young people in their reproductive prime (say about 15-30) to bear children and elders (roughly 60+), after having lived a life in which they fulfill their own self purpose, actually raise the children and transpose that wisdom.
You can see it playing out with those on the top of the economic heap - the more educated, mobile, and financially stable, the later in life they wait to have children until they're up against the extreme of their biology. The least educated and least mobile still have children as early as possible.
After reading some of the responses to this thread I have to wonder what "wisdom" some of the young mommy's will pass on to their off spring? Most people married of not, become parents as a result of unprotected sex. It's often the people without children who've taken the time to consider parenthood.
Heck. Why don't you go onto the Dogs forum and ask "Who doesn't want to have dogs?"
Or go onto the Sports forum and ask, "Hey, who else doesn't like sports?"
Or onto the Books forum and ask, "Hey, who else thinks reading is a gigantic waste of time?"
In short, the OP waded into a forum filled with people who enjoy their kids or resolve to be parents, and ended his/her post with this condescending little quote from Dr. Oz. As if none of us have thought about planning our families.
Man, go somewhere else. Hey, if you want to go through childless, have at it. But don't come in here second-guessing our choices, as if we're all just a bunch of mindless baby factories.
I disagree. Kids should be taught to EARN respect, just like adults do in their lives. They need to earn the respect of their peers, and adults earn the respect of their peers. Kids respect their parents because of the power a parent has in the family.
Merriam-Webster: Respect;to consider deserving of high regard: ESTEEM
Esteem; to set a high value on, admire, revere
Now, I don't know about you, I love my kids, but they have to EARN my respect as they grow into the people they will be in adulthood, with their values and morals developed. I can have respect for their growing space, I can have respect for a certain amount of privacy, but as people, they have to EARN it.
I see what you are saying here, when you look to the dictionary for what respect means. But in parenting terms, when I talk about teaching my kids to be respectful, and when I talk about how I respect my children in return, what I'm talking about are three main things, basically: the way we communicate, the way we behave - body language comes into this, and the things we do.
Treating our kids with respect, to me, means teaching and modeling that everything we do has a consequence, and to keep those consequences in mind... "think before you do"... that sort of thing... you might feel very strongly about something, or even be upset or annoyed about something... but before you act out or say something, you need to figure out the most respectful way to express yourself, or perhaps wait until a later more appropriate time to express your feelings and thoughts on the matter. As a parent, this often means taking a moment to take the emotion out of it, to clear your head, think logically, and return to the child with realistic consequences for whatever it was that happened that needed to be dealt with. Too often parents respond emotionally to disciplinarian issues, and this is not a good thing to do.
I see a lot of parents out of control, who lash out at their kids for misbehaving. This teaches the children that lashing out is the acceptable way of dealing with stress. Other parents demand silence from children, or demand certain behaviors, taking a more authoritarian approach to parenting, and I personally feel this instills children with the belief that they are not as important beings as others, and they grow up looking to others with more authority to make demands from them, as that is the stage that their parents set for them.
I know this is a heated issue... as all parents parent differently... but this is just how my husband and I have done it. We prefer to instill a sense of equality, and of fun , in our family life. We are all important and all deserve each others respect. I try to treat my child as I would not only want to be treated, but as I would want them also to behave towards me and others. To me that is what respecting my child, and teaching my child to be respectful, means. We, the parents, must set the example and stay consistent, but there are ways of being a parent that also allows the children to shoulder their fair share of the responsibility so that they learn proper behavior and the rewards that come with it. Cause and effect... let them learn that everything they do makes something else happen, and let them be responsible for their own actions, positive or negative. If you do this from day one, it works really well. We've seen it work with our boys.
Heck. Why don't you go onto the Dogs forum and ask "Who doesn't want to have dogs?"
Or go onto the Sports forum and ask, "Hey, who else doesn't like sports?"
Or onto the Books forum and ask, "Hey, who else thinks reading is a gigantic waste of time?"
In short, the OP waded into a forum filled with people who enjoy their kids or resolve to be parents, and ended his/her post with this condescending little quote from Dr. Oz. As if none of us have thought about planning our families.
Man, go somewhere else. Hey, if you want to go through childless, have at it. But don't come in here second-guessing our choices, as if we're all just a bunch of mindless baby factories.
I frequent this forum and I have seen posts from other childfree people here quite often. In fact, if I recall, there was a thread a few months ago which went something like.... "Why do people without children visit this board".
There are people who come to this board to discuss their views about having children and ask questions PRIOR to having them. If only one side of the argument is presented, they cannot make an intelligent choice. It is our RESPONSIBILITY as childfree people to be here and provide the opposite point of view, that's why!
20yrsinBranson
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It's a mirroring task.
, in our family life. We are all important and all deserve each others respect. I try to treat my child as I would not only want to be treated, but as I would want them also to behave towards me and others. To me that is what respecting my child, and teaching my child to be respectful, means. We, the parents, must set the example and stay consistent, but there are ways of being a parent that also allows the children to shoulder their fair share of the responsibility so that they learn proper behavior and the rewards that come with it. Cause and effect... let them learn that everything they do makes something else happen, and let them be responsible for their own actions, positive or negative. If you do this from day one, it works really well. We've seen it work with our boys.
