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Old 04-16-2009, 11:40 PM
 
9,925 posts, read 8,606,190 times
Reputation: 7157
Quote:
Originally Posted by WyoNewk View Post
...Oh please. I haven't seen any polls, but count me out as one of the men you're referring to. I'm just the opposite. I respect friends, and a FWB is a very special friend -- one I'm much closer to than other friends.
Apparently you've said something else recently that I've agreed with so I'm outta reps for you for now Wyo but a big thumbs up to you!

I knew the good blokes were around here somewhere.

Which reminds me a few of you other folks have made some incredibly well said posts in this thread but obviously too many for me to rep you repeatedly. Redisca, professonator, the wonderful chocolate sharer and a couple of others whose names escape me right now, some really great posts!
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Old 04-16-2009, 11:54 PM
 
3,843 posts, read 8,021,811 times
Reputation: 2424
Quote:
Originally Posted by artsyguy View Post
Ugh I've had similar experiences to FWB and they were all bad and very hurtful experiences.

I still think it's a stupid and greedy thing to do.

Why do you need to have 3 people to use for sex ? That is just greedy man, not to mention cold. I'm starting to have some understanding because you and some of the other posters might have a very high sex drive. I have a low sex drive and expect my men to stick around and be committed as real friends, unfortunately that never happens. If one starts whoring me out to meet other guys and controlling me by introducing me to other whorish low quality men and encouraging me to have hook ups, then I'm going to get pretty angry about that and voice my complaints loud and clear. That behavior is so degrading. That happened to me once with a jerk, I explained to him in details that I am a relationship person, I am looking for dating and relationships, if not then I am looking for friendships (no sex), no matter how many times I lectured him about me and my needs he still didn't get it and would try to ***** me out to his slutty friends. Ughhhhhhh. Can you explain that behavior to me please?

Be a real man and date. Get into a real relationship is what I say.
Well all I am saying is that having multiple FWB is what has worked for me. If the women don't like it, they are more than welcome to leave. I can find replacements no problem. Also I've done the whole, "real man and date" thing and for me that didn't work out. I spent so much time doing that (when I was young and dumb) and at the end of the day I felt like crap! These women break your ass down, degrade you, use you (for money) and then they don't even give you sex. To me, sex is pretty important. I usually got the, "oh, we are better off as friends" talk AFTER I spent hours listening to them blab on and on about nothing, spending hours with them and spending money on them. F that! With FWB I get exactly what I want - love, affection and sex without any commitments. Now I focus on what is important to me. First, I find out if they are sexually attracted to me. If not, I move on. Then I find out if they want to have sex with me. If not, I move on. Then I find out if they want a FWB style relationship. If not, I move on. I do this all in no more than 30 minutes of invested time in them. Of course, after they want to be FWB I get to know more about them - what they like, what they think is fun etc. Then that is what we focus on - having fun. For both of us, having sex is fun. It is a win-win situation. It has been the best thing I've ever done. All I know is that I am SIGNIFICANTLY more happy with FWB than serious relationships. That is what counts.

I think everyone should really focus on finding what relationship style is best for you. For some it is one night stand, for others FWB, and then there are the people who like serious relationships. Find out which is best for you and find like minded people. There are so many people out there and there is people for everyone. Find them and make it happen!

Personally for me, serious relationships don't work. For others it does work. More power to them. They found what relationship style works for them and they are happy with it. Personally I think marriage is flawed, but if it works for others, more power to them for making it work.

I can't stress it enough - finding out what relationship style works best for you and makes you happy is what counts.

but going on here and saying relationship style is best for all situation is being just plain arrogant. Everyone is different so everyone has a different relationship style.

Last edited by killer2021; 04-17-2009 at 12:08 AM..
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Old 04-17-2009, 12:12 AM
 
11,001 posts, read 6,825,636 times
Reputation: 8235
Well after reading everyone's posts carefully I have come to the conclusion that people really should go after what makes them happy instead of everyone doing the same thing. Its variety that keeps this world interesting, and if this is your thing, then go for it.
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Old 04-17-2009, 12:58 AM
 
Location: Pennsylvania
49 posts, read 112,575 times
Reputation: 46
Quote:
Originally Posted by CESpeed View Post
The problem is that men rarely treat women they casually have sex with, with any respect. Men tend to view women who they easily sex with the same way they view prostitutes.
You're making rude, offensive generalizations. There is a HUGE difference between a friend who becomes something more and a woman at a club who you can "pick up" for sex the same night you meet her.

I respected my friend as a friend before and during our time doing it. And I still respect her now too, although I am kind of hurt because it ended so suddenly and I was clearly more emotionally involved than she was.


All of your posts in this thread and another I read practically bleed bitterness towards men. I'm sorry if you were burned in the past, but we're not all chauvinist pigs.
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Old 04-17-2009, 01:37 AM
 
Location: In my skin
8,032 posts, read 8,783,450 times
Reputation: 7871
Quote:
Originally Posted by artsyguy View Post
Oh sure, I can see where it has worked out for you. That is great it turned out that way. Care and respect is so important.

You can see my posts as the downside to FWB. I have been very unlucky.
You want me to go break his legs?
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Old 04-17-2009, 03:19 AM
 
3,924 posts, read 5,165,663 times
Reputation: 2312
FWB is good for people who master the difficult art of controlling totally their emotions (women are very good at that incidentally).
For the others (most of guys), not a good idea!
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Old 04-17-2009, 08:53 AM
 
Location: Hot Springs, AR
5,612 posts, read 9,346,248 times
Reputation: 3607
I have never met a man who truly has any respect for a woman he is only having sex with. I've spoken with friends, relatives, colleagues, etc. and they all say the same thing: they might act like they have respect for her and call her a "friend" in order to keep her cooperation, but in truth they don't view her as anything more than sexual gratification, she doesn't matter.
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Old 04-17-2009, 08:57 AM
 
Location: Cumberland Co., TN
10,915 posts, read 10,703,906 times
Reputation: 10913
even their wife?
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Old 04-17-2009, 09:09 AM
 
Location: Texas
8,063 posts, read 11,244,318 times
Reputation: 3536
Quote:
Originally Posted by CESpeed View Post
I have never met a man who truly has any respect for a woman he is only having sex with. I've spoken with friends, relatives, colleagues, etc. and they all say the same thing: they might act like they have respect for her and call her a "friend" in order to keep her cooperation, but in truth they don't view her as anything more than sexual gratification, she doesn't matter.
Sounds like your "friends" have a very dim view of women and female sexuality. In other words, what you're saying here is that they are righteous in getting their sexual needs met and the women they use for that purpose "don't matter." Men like that have some very deep problems and are often abusive.
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Old 04-17-2009, 09:24 AM
 
29,476 posts, read 17,691,317 times
Reputation: 14417
Barrister....go get a girlfriend.
Sounds like that would be the best course of action and what you are interested in.
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