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Old 04-15-2009, 11:11 PM
 
25,170 posts, read 33,321,258 times
Reputation: 6680
Ugh I've had similar experiences to FWB and they were all bad and very hurtful experiences.

I still think it's a stupid and greedy thing to do.

Why do you need to have 3 people to use for sex ? That is just greedy man, not to mention cold. I'm starting to have some understanding because you and some of the other posters might have a very high sex drive. I have a low sex drive and expect my men to stick around and be committed as real friends, unfortunately that never happens. If one starts whoring me out to meet other guys and controlling me by introducing me to other whorish low quality men and encouraging me to have hook ups, then I'm going to get pretty angry about that and voice my complaints loud and clear. That behavior is so degrading. That happened to me once with a jerk, I explained to him in details that I am a relationship person, I am looking for dating and relationships, if not then I am looking for friendships (no sex), no matter how many times I lectured him about me and my needs he still didn't get it and would try to ***** me out to his slutty friends. Ughhhhhhh. Can you explain that behavior to me please?

Be a real man and date. Get into a real relationship is what I say.

Quote:
Originally Posted by killer2021 View Post
Spoken like a person who has never had a FWB relationship.

I've had numerous FWB relationships and here is how to make it work. First, don't just get one FWB, get 2-3. When one leaves, you have the others and you have time to fill the position that was left open.

When you only have one you are left with that problem of being left with no one. Since you are in that situation you need to immediately go out and find replacements. Start hitting up the clubs and bars.



Yup, exactly the way you handle it. Your first FWBs who leave you will hurt your feelings, don't take it personal. After a while of FWB leaving you won't give a crap anymore about the feelings. Also after a while you need to switch up the FWBs, same thing over and over gets boring! They are actually doing a favor for you by leaving. Trying to break it off with a girl who is starting think of you as boyfriend material isn't easy. Not to mention there is always the possibility of her going psycho on you.

Last edited by artsyguy; 04-15-2009 at 11:21 PM..
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Old 04-15-2009, 11:37 PM
 
9,925 posts, read 8,651,012 times
Reputation: 7160
Just for the record, whilst I think that FWB can be successfully negotiated and fulfilling for both parties I can't say I'm a fan of killer's model!

To me that's not FWB, but to each their own.
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Old 04-15-2009, 11:39 PM
 
Location: Coachella Valley, California
15,196 posts, read 24,698,239 times
Reputation: 12310
Yeah, Killer is just ..... creepy.
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Old 04-15-2009, 11:39 PM
 
25,170 posts, read 33,321,258 times
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Oh ok. I thought everybody followed that "FWB model".

I would hope your FWB have a little more respect and care for each other ha ha.

Quote:
Originally Posted by moonshadow View Post
Just for the record, whilst I think that FWB can be successfully negotiated and fulfilling for both parties I can't say I'm a fan of killer's model!

To me that's not FWB, but to each their own.
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Old 04-15-2009, 11:46 PM
 
Location: southern california
49,094 posts, read 45,442,802 times
Reputation: 40126
relationships with women need to go somewhere.
women do not stay beautiful and attractive.
we must play our cards well.
its not free sex, it was never free ever.
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Old 04-15-2009, 11:49 PM
 
9,925 posts, read 8,651,012 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by artsyguy View Post
Oh ok. I thought everybody followed that "FWB model".
Nope. Not to my way of thinking anyway.

Quote:
Originally Posted by artsyguy View Post
I would hope your FWB have a little more respect and care for each other ha ha.
Friends with benefits is exactly that, friends first and foremost, so I'd be looking out to be a good friend and would expect the same from the other party. And the benefits would be that you are engaged in sexual activity with a consistant partner that cares about you. So yes, as you say respect and care.

I think what killer is describing is to me just run of the mill whoring or I guess FBs (**** buddies) but generally I just view it as getting your end in with not a lot of consideration for the other person or yourself. Again ok if that's your thing but it's not mine.
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Old 04-16-2009, 01:37 AM
 
Location: Pennsylvania
49 posts, read 113,134 times
Reputation: 46
Quote:
Originally Posted by killer2021 View Post
Spoken like a person who has never had a FWB relationship.

I've had numerous FWB relationships and here is how to make it work. First, don't just get one FWB, get 2-3. When one leaves, you have the others and you have time to fill the position that was left open.

When you only have one you are left with that problem of being left with no one. Since you are in that situation you need to immediately go out and find replacements. Start hitting up the clubs and bars.
Yeah, maybe it works for you but I'm not a meat market man *****. I can't imagine handling three girls at once anyway.

I DID respect her, it wasn't just some cheap ****, but at the same time I wasn't really looking for a serious relationship because I've seen how much heartache that caused before and I didn't want to go into that with her. Plus, I wasn't sure and am still not sure where I am ending up after college.
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Old 04-16-2009, 03:20 AM
 
Location: Spicewood
3,821 posts, read 3,455,115 times
Reputation: 5660
Quote:
Originally Posted by Barrister85 View Post
Last November one of my female friends and I moved to being a bit more than friends. We kept it casual, since we didn't want drama and she had broken up a long-term relationship a few months earlier. We saw each other every week or so one-on-one where we hung around, goofed off, and had sex. Sometimes we would get pretty emotional and intimate, but I thought it was all "pillow talk" I never really thought I was attached to her.

This week she called and said she found some guy she likes who wants a long-term relationship and we needed to stop doing what we were doing. I said okay, and didn't make a big deal out of it on the phone, even though I was stammering a bit.

I knew this could happen and never thought it was going to be a big deal, but I didn't see this coming and I'm actually kind of hurt. I've been thinking about it for days now. I feel like I've been pushed off in a flippant manner, like nothing we did mattered to her. I also kind of feel like a wuss for just folding so easily. I guess I liked her more than I thought.

How can I let go of ill feelings? I want to stay friends, and I've talked to her since, but things are kind of awkward. I already made up an excuse to avoid one get-together with all the friends because I don't want to see the other guy; I probably can't avoid another.

Thanks for reading.
Only time will help you get over your ill feelings. As for being her friend, you can't, not yet anyway. You need to be get over her first before you can be her friend again and that may take a bit.
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Old 04-16-2009, 03:21 AM
 
Location: Spicewood
3,821 posts, read 3,455,115 times
Reputation: 5660
Quote:
Originally Posted by ChessieMom View Post
This is ALWAYS the case for one party. It's why FWB is a lousy idea. I don't have any words of wisdom for you, other than to just consider this a lesson learned. She's moved on, and you need to do the same. I'm sorry for your unhappiness, but time will heal it, sooner than you think.
No it isn't. I've had fwb with no problems like this. It takes a rare breed to do fwb correctly, though.
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Old 04-16-2009, 04:00 AM
 
11,001 posts, read 6,882,990 times
Reputation: 8235
OK?
Whats so great about friends with benefits as opposed to a real relationship? Anybody care to answer?
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