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Yeah. Maybe, with divorce so prevalent and the process causing such hard feelings, we should do away with marriage as we now know it.
One problem these days is that men seem to marry women who have less money than they, less earning capacity. Then when the marriage falls apart, she has a claim on his assets. If he used good judgment up front, in choosing a fitting partner that would not happen. I think men like to be looked up to, they (some) like to be in charge and there are a lot of very pretty girls who know how to feed into that weakness.
The bigger problem comes with the children. Both parties are responsible for that. What if there should be no children born without proof of parentage AND both parents must show proof that they can afford to support the child?
I am equally educated (will be more formally educated soon) than my husband but still have less income earning potential. We are perfect for each other. Should he have chosen a mate based on earning potential alone? Why is it bad judgement to pick a mate that is compatible but not in the same income level? That's silly.
Do I think my husband likes that I make less (none really now but will always make less even when I return to work)? Not for that reason, but I think he does like that I am available for him. He feels respected which is a huge thing for men (men tend to choose respect and women choose love in an either or scenario). Mainly, I just think he loves me for me. If I made more which I could possibly do. I'm contemplating getting my doctorate and becoming a professor some day far in the future. Then I could make a salary a bit closer to his though probably still half by that point. Either way if we were to divorce, it would be a financial hardship. When you build a life together, it is a life together. It is not easy to untangle that mess.
ok Braunwyn that is fine. It's not that I don't want to 'hear the truth' but looks at how the majority of them behave and acts and of course you have to come to the conclusion that there's a very small percentage that are decent and going to stick around for the long haul. Everybody want to squeeze their situation into that percentage if you ask them. So I say there is an expiration date and many don't know what it is.
I agree with you and get what you're saying (I think I do). Most people will end up divorced. And I think it's smart of folk to recognize that it's not in the cards for them and to act accordingly. On the other side, as I said earlier, the fact that successful marriages are a minority does not mean that we don't have a voice and that the minority don't amount to a lot of people. It does. I'm sure that it's more than a matter of tens of thousands. It's probably into the millions when considered globally. With that said, I do feel very fortunate and lucky. I don't take it for granted. Or at least I try not to.
Yeah they exist and I don't give a about finding one. I just want some every now and again like the guy in the other thread without paying for it.
I think you do give a bleep. I don't buy for one second that you're just after sex. Not with the way you post. You come off as sensitive. Maybe I'm wrong, but that's how you read to me.
Well lump me in with that b/c I believes they are miserable and wants to find a way out and likely will do so in the near future unfortunately for the wives . They're never happy with the status quo, grass is always greener, etc.
I'm sad for you to have fallen into that way of thinking
There are many, many good men who love being married and would never leave their wives.
I'm sad for you to have fallen into that way of thinking
There are many, many good men who love being married and would never leave their wives.
seriously: I don't see how you and braunwyn can see it like that. that are tons of males who are not cheating, lying etc. when sooooo many of them are doing this left and right. And beleive also that yours' are not doing these things too? I just don't see how a person can believe this when it's going on all around them with others it is likely going on with them too.
now someone will say this is sexist: so yea there are many women who does this too. but i'm sorry, the scale is unevenly tipped.
I agree with you and get what you're saying (I think I do). Most people will end up divorced. And I think it's smart of folk to recognize that it's not in the cards for them and to act accordingly. On the other side, as I said earlier, the fact that successful marriages are a minority does not mean that we don't have a voice and that the minority don't amount to a lot of people. It does. I'm sure that it's more than a matter of tens of thousands. It's probably into the millions when considered globally. With that said, I do feel very fortunate and lucky. I don't take it for granted. Or at least I try not to.
yes i understand what you're saying: the few good marriages are probably in the thousands and the all the bad ones do not drown out the few goods ones that exists. OK say that's true: I don't know how any of the womens can beleive theirs is one of the good ones? All the odds seems against it being likely. I just don't know how they can be convinced of this given the majority.
I'm sad for you to have fallen into that way of thinking
There are many, many good men who love being married and would never leave their wives.
There may be many, but I'm beginning to believe there are not enough and I don't know if it's common for most women to recognize it when they see it. But, I do spend too much time on this board and that can be influencing my thinking on it.
seriously: I don't see how you and braunwyn can see it like that. that are tons of males who are not cheating, lying etc. when sooooo many of them are doing this left and right. And beleive also that yours' are not doing these things too? I just don't see how a person can believe this when it's going on all around them with others it is likely going on with them too.
now someone will say this is sexist: so yea there are many women who does this too. but i'm sorry, the scale is unevenly tipped.
Um it's easy. It's not happening in my marriage.
You are only focusing on the bad and ignoring the good. When someone tells you of the good, you essentially accuse them of being naive.
My husband is a good man and is not cheating. His father is a good man and is not or never has cheated. Same for his uncles. The men on my mothers side of the family. Most did not cheat but were jerks. My father was an open cheater and a general drunk scum bag with women.
yes i understand what you're saying: the few good marriages are probably in the thousands and the all the bad ones do not drown out the few goods ones that exists. OK say that's true: I don't know how any of the womens can beleive theirs is one of the good ones? All the odds seems against it being likely. I just don't know how they can be convinced of this given the majority.
I have no idea. I don't know how to put myself in that place. The first thing that comes to mind for me is personal values. But, for a person to have enough awareness to predict potential marital success there would need to be an attempt at an objective personal inventory. I figure that requires a bit of depth and I don't think it's something most even know they have.
On the less heavy side, I think privilege plays into it. Folk with money, education, and successful family upbringing are more likely to have successful marriages. That's largely a matter of fortune/luck.
You are only focusing on the bad and ignoring the good. When someone tells you of the good, you essentially accuse them of being naive.
My husband is a good man and is not cheating. His father is a good man and is not or never has cheated. Same for his uncles. The men on my mothers side of the family. Most did not cheat but were jerks. My father was an open cheater and a general drunk scum bag with women.
That's essentailly what I'm saying. Everyone says 'well it's not happening in my marriage!' I don't know why they're so convinced it's everyone else but them, sigh. And I am not purposely focusing on the bad, that is what the data and everyday life shows. Soon as you looks at a man and think he might be halfway decent -- see another side that says otherwise. This is repeated again and again and again....I do thinks a lot of women is naive, but more in denial. If you say you're husband is not cheating, I'm not going to say he is. But the odds are not in your favor (not saying that to be rude, just saying) that's what I think. Bottom line is: I don't see how so many of you is so trusting of them when so much contrary evidence exists.
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about finding one. I just want some every now and again like the guy in the other thread without paying for it.
Oh Okay.
. They're never happy with the status quo, grass is always greener, etc.
And beleive also that yours' are not doing these things too? I just don't see how a person can believe this when it's going on all around them with others it is likely going on with them too.
