Are women in 30s different from women in twenties... (kids, sex, divorced)
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I'm a 31 year old guy who can pass for mid 20s physically. I almost always end up dating girls in their early to mid-twenties due to a few negative things that always seem to happen when I start to see women who are in their late twenties and into their thirties. Not everybody is like this, and I would have no problem at all with dating a woman in her thirties if she was different...but every time I start to see a woman in her thirties, it quickly turns into a sort of job interview/attempt to fast-track me into something serious. I personally can't stand that and almost instantly cringe when I see them checking off the list in their heads. It's always more about where I am in life and what I have to offer vs who I am and what makes me unique as a person; sort of more about "this guy meets my needs, that's all I need to know". I just don't go for that mentality...I get it, but that doesn't change the fact that it's offputting to me.
Girls in their early to mid-twenties tend to be far more innocent with it all...they can be a bit goofy and annoyingly immature/star struck, but it almost always tends to be far more about personality and experiences together or time spent together. Strangely, I think it's easier to make an actual connection since you're building based on attraction to each other and what you experience vs choosing somebody based off of a figurative resume. The whole thing just feels "better" to me and has none of the fast-tracking to it.
Op. Why is dating younger girls a "red flag?" It's perfectly normal and in our biological make up. Continue to pursue the twenty somethings. My advice.
Sort of the bottom line for single guys in their late twenties through their thirties...
...personally, I'm without kids and have never been married and would like to date somebody who's in the same boat. It's not a regular thing to meet lots of women who are in their 30s without having been previously married or with kids. Life happens and most women have made an attempt at both by the time they've hit their 30s; it's just reality and not a good or bad thing necessarily. But finding a single woman who's never been married or without kids is a lot easier if you go younger. I have friends who've jumped into relationships with women in their thirties and for some reason are willing to deal with drama from as many as four kids from prior marriages...in addition to crazy ex husbands seeking them out. I just can't understand that or relate to how or why any of this is a good idea. There's absolutely nothing wrong with a guy dating down in age and a lot of the time it makes 100% perfect sense.
I'm a 31 year old guy who can pass for mid 20s physically. I almost always end up dating girls in their early to mid-twenties due to a few negative things that always seem to happen when I start to see women who are in their late twenties and into their thirties. Not everybody is like this, and I would have no problem at all with dating a woman in her thirties if she was different...but every time I start to see a woman in her thirties, it quickly turns into a sort of job interview/attempt to fast-track me into something serious. I personally can't stand that and almost instantly cringe when I see them checking off the list in their heads. It's always more about where I am in life and what I have to offer vs who I am and what makes me unique as a person; sort of more about "this guy meets my needs, that's all I need to know". I just don't go for that mentality...I get it, but that doesn't change the fact that it's offputting to me.
Girls in their early to mid-twenties tend to be far more innocent with it all...they can be a bit goofy and annoyingly immature/star struck, but it almost always tends to be far more about personality and experiences together or time spent together. Strangely, I think it's easier to make an actual connection since you're building based on attraction to each other and what you experience vs choosing somebody based off of a figurative resume. The whole thing just feels "better" to me and has none of the fast-tracking to it.
I couldn't agree more. It seems like people totally forget how to lose themselves in fun experiences once they hit the big three-zero. All people---not just women---although women seem to have a greater propensity to that. I know a few 30-something women through friends. While they're pleasant to be around, they're just not very fun. I get along with them pretty well, but I'd die of boredom if I had to be in a relationship with any of them.
I couldn't agree more. It seems like people totally forget how to lose themselves in fun experiences once they hit the big three-zero. All people---not just women---although women seem to have a greater propensity to that. I know a few 30-something women through friends. While they're pleasant to be around, they're just not very fun. I get along with them pretty well, but I'd die of boredom if I had to be in a relationship with any of them.
That seems odd to me. I've done way more wild things and had way more fun in my 30's than I ever did in my 20's. But then in my 20's I was first dealing with small kids and financial struggles, then on Depo Provera, which killed my ability to connect with others and have a good time, it really changed my personality a lot. Even before I left my marriage, I was more inclined to stand up for myself and do things I really wanted to do, like concerts and such, in my 30's, where in my 20's I had this idea that I needed to sacrifice myself completely to my family and be selfless. I was about as exciting as a pair of khaki slacks in my 20's.
That seems odd to me. I've done way more wild things and had way more fun in my 30's than I ever did in my 20's. But then in my 20's I was first dealing with small kids and financial struggles, then on Depo Provera, which killed my ability to connect with others and have a good time, it really changed my personality a lot. Even before I left my marriage, I was more inclined to stand up for myself and do things I really wanted to do, like concerts and such, in my 30's, where in my 20's I had this idea that I needed to sacrifice myself completely to my family and be selfless. I was about as exciting as a pair of khaki slacks in my 20's.
Interesting... the experiences with people I know were the opposite. They were fun, vibrant, and exciting in their 20's. We used to have all sorts of crazy and not-so-crazy adventures. But right after the big three-zero, they suddenly decided to settle down and "become responsible adults" (nothing bad about that), and took it waaaaay too far.
Last edited by MillennialUrbanist; 07-13-2017 at 01:40 PM..
Interesting... the experiences with people I know was the opposite. They were fun, vibrant, and exciting in their 20's. We used to have all sorts of crazy and not-so-crazy adventures. But come big three-zero, they suddenly decided to settle down and "become responsible adults" (nothing bad about that), and took it waaaaay too far.
I confess that I'm not exactly "normal people" though I am able to meld comfortably with certain sizeable fringe communities, so I'm not unique either.
So what I see in my scene is that everybody is pretty intelligent, usually they're kinda geeky, the kind of people you'll stay up all night talking to, about everything from serious philosophy to inside jokes and culture references. The ones (male and female) who are desirable partners of age 40+ (women who have taken good care of themselves, men who are established financially for instance) are REPELLED by "drama." Mainly they don't want to be taken advantage of, they don't want to deal with screaming and hysterics, they want to be around people who can handle themselves.
I think this is a reason that a lot of the pretty young ones get passed over by such individuals in my community. There is the perception that they are party kids, who will get in trouble with their shenanigans and you'll end up having to bail 'em out, and they might yet get pregnant and then you'll have to deal with all that, older women usually have a better birth control game and less apt to "accidentally" get preggers. Just..."drama."
I do however know one man, in his late 60's if I had to guess, with a big fancy house, and he takes in the young ones who need a place to stay. The broken, the abused, the addicts, as long as they're young and pretty. He doesn't require sex, he requires other service such as house cleaning and a lovely escort when he goes out socially. He usually appears with a group of 3-5 of them. The rule is though, at age 25 they've got to get out. Or so I've heard.
It just takes all kinds, that's all I'm tryin' to say. "More things in Heaven and Earth, Horatio" as it were.
It is unfair to refer to single women in their 30's as leftovers, but their standards and expectation do begin to lower at a good pace and the list of requirements odes grown noticeably shorter as the time goes by.
maybe one way a woman responds to this thread is to say how SHE herself is different in her 30s vs her 20s. Her experiences, knowledge, confidence, what have you.
In my 20s... I wasnt responsible with money. I had young children. I wasnt working. I wasnt happy. I had crap friends.
It is unfair to refer to single women in their 30's as leftovers, but their standards and expectation do begin to lower at a good pace and the list of requirements odes grown noticeably shorter as the time goes by.
Again, maybe women you know...
Not my experience. I didn't know what my needs were when I was younger. I do now, and I'd rather be alone than settle for a bad relationship. And my career is advanced enough that I can survive on my own without needing a man to help support my household.
My requirements might be less superficial than they were. But they are more numerous and I know better what is important. A woman in her 30's has probably made enough mistakes to have learned a few things. Unless they've just made her bitter instead...some people (men and women) never really learn, it seems.
I couldn't agree more. It seems like people totally forget how to lose themselves in fun experiences once they hit the big three-zero. All people---not just women---although women seem to have a greater propensity to that. I know a few 30-something women through friends. While they're pleasant to be around, they're just not very fun. I get along with them pretty well, but I'd die of boredom if I had to be in a relationship with any of them.
It's definitely everybody and not just women...I have some buddies who have fallen off a cliff and can't seem to figure out that turning 30 isn't turning 50; it's comically bad and worthy of another thread topic all of its own. But to keep it on topic and about women in their 30s and behaviors; you can say it's related to "the biological clock" and hitting marrital/family goals, but I just don't get what in the world happens to some people overall within this age range. It's almost like they literally choose to become artificially old and sedentary overnight, almost like it's a social status or something that they all want to achieve...kind of like how most idiotic 20 year olds associate the need to be seen blindly partying all the time as a show of successful social status. It's just funny stuff with how people intentionally lose their desire to be active and explore in life.
Sadly, most women in their 30s that I've tried to date basically wanted to turn the two of us into an "old married couple" of sorts...I've successfully passed the check list, so my reward is coffee dates, dinner dates, coffee and dinner dates with equally boring friends of hers, and staying in/watching tv on weekends. Any and all life in the situation had to come from me...I never have this problem with younger girls at all. But that's another thing that tends to annoy me to no reason...when people hit their thirties and try to "play adult", basically becoming intentionally boring, because they feel it's the popular thing to do and a sign of "having made it in life". It's so amazingly ridiculous that people actually do this to themselves
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