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Just another young girl all upset & confused over Facebook. Listen to me. You're acting really really childish over this. You're acting like a giggly emotional little teenage girl with her first boyfriend. Don't worry about Facebook girl!
Now that being said, I'll give you some advice on this situation: I say he's a jerk. Even though it's just some bull on Facebook & it means almost nothing, there may be some kinda message he's trying to send you without being too harsh. Maybe he's trying to tell you he has no interest anymore. Or maybe he's just a jerk.
Either way, you gotta grow up a little bit. I ain't trying to offend you or be mean or anything, but you're waisting your time. Don't get so stressed out over freakin friends on Facebook. It ain't worth it. If you're gonna take things so seriously on that damned hell bound website, maybe you shouldn't be on it @ all. Again, I honestly ain't trying to be mean. I just can't find a nicer way to say that. If you weren't too damn hung up on Facebook crap you wouldn't have started this thread. Don't worry about it. Talk to your boyfriend about any REAL problems you may have IN PERSON. NO LITTLE GIRL FACEBOOK TALK EITHER!
My boyfriend and I have had trouble with jealousy on myspace and are no longer friends on myspace (mainly I would get upset when he was being flirty with females). About a year ago, I sent my boyfriend a friend request on Facebook and he ignored it. My boyfriend is a journalist on TV and he has a lot of attractive female facebook friends. He spends A LOT of his time on Facebook. He has a lot of photographs of himself and other women on his facebook but no pictures of me on his facebook. His relationship status is blank although we are "in a relationship". Most of his photos are hidden, but I can see a few (the ones he allows me to see). I cannot help but feel left out and I am getting really upset over this. Am I overreacting?
Red flag in the first post. You report that you and your bf have "had trouble with jealousy" on myspace, however, as you continue, it is clear that the trouble was one-sided. YOU were jealous and caused the problem. No wonder he doesn't want to have you as a friend on facebook. Right now, it's a fun place for him. If he friends you and you make a comment every time he gets a new female FB friend, or if you are googling all the names of the women who are tagged in his photos and then questioning him about them...well, doesn't that kind of ruin things for him? Who wants that kind of behavior and guilt trip? It's a drag.
However, I will also say that this kind of dynamic between the two of you spells trouble in general. This is not a facebook problem and it's not him being a jerk. You have played a large part in this as well, by your own admission.
Red flag in the first post. You report that you and your bf have "had trouble with jealousy" on myspace, however, as you continue, it is clear that the trouble was one-sided. YOU were jealous and caused the problem. No wonder he doesn't want to have you as a friend on facebook. Right now, it's a fun place for him. If he friends you and you make a comment every time he gets a new female FB friend, or if you are googling all the names of the women who are tagged in his photos and then questioning him about them...well, doesn't that kind of ruin things for him? Who wants that kind of behavior and guilt trip? It's a drag.
Agree completely!!! And grow up already. You're not in high school any longer. Stop caring so much about socializing on myspace and FB.
Quote:
However, I will also say that this kind of dynamic between the two of you spells trouble in general. This is not a facebook problem and it's not him being a jerk. You have played a large part in this as well, by your own admission.
I really think that part of this man's original appeal to you was that he is a tv journalist. And as a tv personality, you do have to share him with his public and fans. Stop trying to mark him as your territory on the internet and trying to tame him. As long as he is faithful to you in real life, then that's all that matters. If you can't handle the way he deals with his fans, then find yourself a boyfriend that isn't a tv personality.
What you are trying to do is not much different than dating a "bad boy" and then trying to make him into a "nice guy". Just let him be himself. And since he is 43 years old, he's definitely isn't changing his ways, so just accept him for who he is. And the more you push and try to control him, the more likely he is to dump you and find another woman who isn't such a nag.
there are trust issues, probably due to your jealousy on other sites
tell him how it makes you feel.
if he doesnt take this into consideration and you can't talk thru this issue and resolve it.... you have more issues than be-friending on facebook.
Red flag in the first post. You report that you and your bf have "had trouble with jealousy" on myspace, however, as you continue, it is clear that the trouble was one-sided. YOU were jealous and caused the problem. No wonder he doesn't want to have you as a friend on facebook. Right now, it's a fun place for him. If he friends you and you make a comment every time he gets a new female FB friend, or if you are googling all the names of the women who are tagged in his photos and then questioning him about them...well, doesn't that kind of ruin things for him? Who wants that kind of behavior and guilt trip? It's a drag.
However, I will also say that this kind of dynamic between the two of you spells trouble in general. This is not a facebook problem and it's not him being a jerk. You have played a large part in this as well, by your own admission.
I couldn't disagree more actually.
In a relationship. His status should say in a relationship. He does not want to add her because then he will be forced to deal with something he just left blank. Yeah, that would be a drag to a guy who wants his cake and wants to eat it too.
In a relationship. His status should say in a relationship. He does not want to add her because then he will be forced to deal with something he just left blank. Yeah, that would be a drag to a guy who wants his cake and wants to eat it too.
Well, sure, that's a possibility. The truth is neither of us can possibly know what's going on inside his head. It's just that there were so many of the "dump him! He's a jerk!" posts that I wanted to offer another (IMO equally valid) theory.
Also, I have a friend in a long-distance relationship with a guy who is totally devoted to her. She started this obsessive jealous behavior with him on facebook ("I see you friended a blond woman today" or "Who is that in that photo with you and where was it taken?" or "I see you had time to post a video to facebook but you didn't have time to answer my email") etc. and he called her on it.
He is totally loyal to her but didn't want to have his every move questioned, nor did he want to have to feel guilty for enjoying a 60 second break in his work to post a link without feeling like she was watching everything he did (facebook stalking).
He made her understand that her behavior was inappopriate and uncalled for (which it was) and while they remain friends on facebook, she took a step back and doesn't ask him about everything that goes on his page.
Perhaps OP and bf don't have a mature enough relationship to work a similar issue out, and his way of dealing with it is not to accept her friend request. Again, just a theory and possibly wrong, but I feel it's a credible one.
Well, sure, that's a possibility. The truth is neither of us can possibly know what's going on inside his head. It's just that there were so many of the "dump him! He's a jerk!" posts that I wanted to offer another (IMO equally valid) theory.
Also, I have a friend in a long-distance relationship with a guy who is totally devoted to her. She started this obsessive jealous behavior with him on facebook ("I see you friended a blond woman today" or "Who is that in that photo with you and where was it taken?" or "I see you had time to post a video to facebook but you didn't have time to answer my email") etc. and he called her on it.
He is totally loyal to her but didn't want to have his every move questioned, nor did he want to have to feel guilty for enjoying a 60 second break in his work to post a link without feeling like she was watching everything he did (facebook stalking).
He made her understand that her behavior was inappopriate and uncalled for (which it was) and while they remain friends on facebook, she took a step back and doesn't ask him about everything that goes on his page.
Perhaps OP and bf don't have a mature enough relationship to work a similar issue out, and his way of dealing with it is not to accept her friend request. Again, just a theory and possibly wrong, but I feel it's a credible one.
I concur. Two sides to every coin. Two sides to every story. A credible theory for sure. Maybe OP can elaborate?
Here is some more detail of the situation. We are not friends on facebook because we used to be friends on myspace and it always caused fights because he was SO flirty with his female friends and I would get upset. We were living together and constantly fighting because what I thought was inappropriate he insisted was just "innocent flirting between friends". His behavior has not changed, however we are no longer friends on any social network sites because of all the conflict it caused. The other day I went to look at his Facebook profile (he has most of it hidden but I can see some photos). He had posted a photograph of himself with another woman in a bikini, his arm was around her stomach touching her stomach and pulling her close. This was from a pool party with friends (i was not there). He told me the woman is a friend of his and engaged to another man but their embrace made it look like they are a couple. He has no photos of me on his facebook. Of course I got upset as I usually do. He told me he took the photo down which he finally did after I asked him 5 times. but I just wonder what else is going on that I cannot see. I know he is flirty with women because I can see some of it and have seen it in the past. It is causing all kinds of suspicion for me and makes me wonder how can I love this man? He says i am immature and insecure and should focus on reality and not be worried about facebook..am I overrreacting?
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