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I have a friend who met a girl a week ago, they had sex after their first date, and she's already spent the nite twice at his house. Am I just old fashioned for thinking this is really not a good thing? They've only known each other for a wk and are already hooking up. What do you guys really think about a woman who will have sex with you after only one date? Do you think it's fine and you would persue a relationship? I'm starting to feel really out of it because I see this a lot but I just don't agree with it. I'm not saying one has to wait for marriage, but sex with someone I just met is not an option for me. What do you all think?
In the famous words of a very intrepid personals post I once read: "First date sex is slutty."
Now third date sex, on the other hand...
Seriously, I think that if you have sex on the first date then it takes away all of the anticipation. That, and I think sex is always better if you have deep intimate feelings for the other person, and that can't develop until after two people have been together for awhile.
For me, if a girl tried to come on to me too quick, I tend to back away a little. I'm not looking for a relationship based on sex, I want something a little deeper than that.
You are not old-fashioned - your friend is taking great risks, physically and emotionally. It's a foolish path to follow.
What she said. I had my share of casual sex when I was younger...and stupider.
I'd never do it again today. I can't believe with all the information out there, than so many still do. Old fashioned? Hell no.
You're definitely not old fashioned for thinking this. I think when you make a decision to have sex that early on, you are really showing how little respect you have for yourself and your values.
Of course the guy is letting her spend the night at his house, she's giving it up! LOL
Back in the day there was a clear difference between a ho and a housewife. I still believe that exists. I'm right with you on being old fashioned. A group of women in my family were talking when I was around 15 and I never forgot what they said: sex clouds your judgement. So in my relationships I made a guy get to know me. If you like me for me you will hang around and if you don't then you'll be gone without me compromising my body. I still believe that to this day.So MANY std's out there and people are changing bed partners faster than ever. If a person goes to bed with you that soon then that's what they do and there is nothing special about you to them. Most men I know are smart enough to know if a woman gave it up that quick to them then they probably give it up all the time and they don't want to be walking around with a girlfriend the entire nation has run through. Tell your girl, this ain't McDonalds...................one billion served is not the business.
I don't see anything wrong with it, two consenting adults make the decision and it happens.
Agreed but not for the makings of a long-term relationship. I agree that two consenting adults can make a decision to sleep with each other right after they meet but it would have to be based on needs and a one time deal.
If you want to turn it into spending the night and making a go of it, why would you want to be with someone who gave it up so easily?
Maybe they were both just looking for one thing and one thing only!! haha. I dont agree with sleeping with someone on the 1st date and only knowing the person a week!! Thats what gets me, shes only known him for a week? I mean if your friends with someone for awhile and decide to go out on a date and happen to sleep together the 1st date thats a slightly different story. Meh, idk, guess it depends what both people are looking for.
Back in the day there was a clear difference between a ho and a housewife. I still believe that exists. I'm right with you on being old fashioned. A group of women in my family were talking when I was around 15 and I never forgot what they said: sex clouds your judgement. So in my relationships I made a guy get to know me. If you like me for me you will hang around and if you don't then you'll be gone without me compromising my body. I still believe that to this day.So MANY std's out there and people are changing bed partners faster than ever. If a person goes to bed with you that soon then that's what they do and there is nothing special about you to them. Most men I know are smart enough to know if a woman gave it up that quick to them then they probably give it up all the time and they don't want to be walking around with a girlfriend the entire nation has run through. Tell your girl, this ain't McDonalds...................one billion served is not the business.
I agree with you when you said that you let the guys get to know you.
Waiting is not an old fashioned thing.
I'm in my 30's and I've never had sex on the first date & I never will because I think that the quicker you give it up, the quicker they'll leave because there's not much more for him to look forward to.
The reason I know this is because in my family, I grew up around a lot of guys who were so called "players" & I used to hear how they talked about women while they were in college.
I still remember when I was 15 & my cousins were in their 20's, they used to hang around each other & talk about the women who had sex with them on the first night they met in a club. They used to say that these women were nothing but "Ho's" and they never had any intention on staying with them.
When I was younger, my older brother used to always tell me that any woman with respect for herself would make the man wait & if he can't wait, than let him move on & at least you won't fill low and cheap in the end.
Having sex should be a bonus in the relationship after you get to know that person emotionally & not only physically.
See, that's what MOST women don't get! If you make a man wait...more often than not, he will become more interested because it's not being thrown at him. At least, that was my experience. Of course there were always those guys who wanted to move on to the next best thing, but for those that were truly interested in getting to know me, they waited and were willing to because it was not given up as easily!
I don't know. I gave it up to my husband on the first date and I think he was hooked.
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