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You're definitely not old fashioned for thinking this. I think when you make a decision to have sex that early on, you are really showing how little respect you have for yourself and your values.
Of course the guy is letting her spend the night at his house, she's giving it up! LOL
So if a woman has slept with dozens of men, but she waited until the 10th date, she has more respect for herself and has higher standards & values?
So if a woman has slept with dozens of men, but she waited until the 10th date, she has more respect for herself and has higher standards & values?
That's actually not what I said. LOL What I said was when a woman just meets a guy then after the first date (or during), she sleeps with him, yeah, she has less self respect UNLESS she and he have made a verbal agreement that it's basically a booty call and nothing will follow.
I think that unless your goal in life is to sleep with every guy you meet five minutes after you meet him, then not many men are going to respect you when they find out that you slept with other men ON the first date.
Make sense??
At the end of the day it's "your" decision to sleep around or not, but for me, and this goes for me too, if you are super easy to bed, then I want nothing serious to do with you. If however, you make me wait, allow me to get to know you and let things progress slowly, I'm far more interested in getting to know you and have far more respect for you.
If I just want to have sex with you, I'm going to let you know it right off the bat and do what I want and be done with you. No strings attached but that's made clear at the beginning.
Originally Posted by WhyShouldIWorry Good advice but likely to fall on deaf ears, especially when many women meet a good looking alpha type who is just too good to be true. Just too much of a risk that he might slip through her fingers.
This is hardly a new phenomenon. However, in most cases, the guy has already decided to eventually look for greener pastures. Why? Because he can.
Quote:
Originally Posted by dvcgal
See, that's what MOST women don't get! If you make a man wait...more often than not, he will become more interested because it's not being thrown at him. At least, that was my experience. Of course there were always those guys who wanted to move on to the next best thing, but for those that were truly interested in getting to know me, they waited and were willing to because it was not given up as easily!
When I was in school, (college and earlier) I was constantly amazed at the sense of entitlement and lack of concern for others of those men who could pull this off. In their view, women were only there to satisfy their cravings and they would string them along for as long as it worked or they didn't become bored or irritated.
I somehow doubt that this stops when people get a job. The are just in less contact with others their age.
However, the strategy "make a man wait" does little to snag such a "catch" either because they aren't interested in a relationship and will just look for more easily available conquests.
I've been thinking about this a lot lately. When I was growing up somehow I learned that the last thing you do as a girl is show a guy you like him. You're supposed to act like you don't care originally.
[SIZE=3][/SIZE]
[SIZE=3]Wonderful! Drive off those who want a relationship because they get the impression that you don't like them![/SIZE]
Quote:
Originally Posted by TheImportersWife
So if a woman has slept with dozens of men, but she waited until the 10th date, she has more respect for herself and has higher standards & values?
If sex is the only way to show that you like a man, I suppose it doesn't matter how long you wait - assuming that you can hold his interest that long.
That's actually not what I said. LOL What I said was when a woman just meets a guy then after the first date (or during), she sleeps with him, yeah, she has less self respect UNLESS she and he have made a verbal agreement that it's basically a booty call and nothing will follow.
I think that unless your goal in life is to sleep with every guy you meet five minutes after you meet him, then not many men are going to respect you when they find out that you slept with other men ON the first date.
Make sense??
At the end of the day it's "your" decision to sleep around or not, but for me, and this goes for me too, if you are super easy to bed, then I want nothing serious to do with you. If however, you make me wait, allow me to get to know you and let things progress slowly, I'm far more interested in getting to know you and have far more respect for you.
But how does sleeping with someone on the first date equate to sleeping around?
It always makes me chuckle that girls play these games where they "make him wait" and yet they've been with dozens of men. They justify themselves by saying "Well I wasn't sleeping around because I didn't put out in the beginning" and that they're not "easy" because they made the guy work or wait a little.
Quote:
Originally Posted by andreaspercheron
If I just want to have sex with you, I'm going to let you know it right off the bat and do what I want and be done with you. No strings attached but that's made clear at the beginning.
Now you're contradicting yourself. Which is it? Does one have less respect for oneself if they put out on the first date or not?
Originally Posted by WhyShouldIWorry Good advice but likely to fall on deaf ears, especially when many women meet a good looking alpha type who is just too good to be true. Just too much of a risk that he might slip through her fingers.
This is hardly a new phenomenon. However, in most cases, the guy has already decided to eventually look for greener pastures. Why? Because he can.
When I was in school, (college and earlier) I was constantly amazed at the sense of entitlement and lack of concern for others of those men who could pull this off. In their view, women were only there to satisfy their cravings and they would string them along for as long as it worked or they didn't become bored or irritated.
I somehow doubt that this stops when people get a job. The are just in less contact with others their age.
However, the strategy "make a man wait" does little to snag such a "catch" either because they aren't interested in a relationship and will just look for more easily available conquests.
Just the type most females hope will have their pecker fall off-LOL!
And, considering the amount of "conquests" most of these losers have and will have in a lifetime, it probably will.
But how does sleeping with someone on the first date equate to sleeping around?
Now you're contradicting yourself. Which is it? Does one have less respect for oneself if they put out on the first date or not?
It doesn't equate to sleeping around per se, but I do believe the possibility is higher.
If X sleeps with people on the first date, then X probably doesn't view sex as something that should be kept between love or relationships, because it's nearly impossible to be in love with someone you're on a first date with - and you're obviously not in a relationship. First date sex is sort of like playing Russian roulette. No one really knows what's going to happen afterwards. It could result in a one night stand or marriage.
Since X doesn't see sex as a relationship-only activity, then X is more likely to engage in it outside the contexts of a relationship, hence the "sleeping around" stereotype that might fall upon him/her.
I don't necessarily think that having sex on a first date means someone has less respect for him/herself than someone who doesn't, but there are definitely people out there who immediately have sex because they think it's a way to keep the other person around. So, technically, they think sex is the only thing they have to offer. This is associated with low self-esteem.
Also, you have to question whether a person had sex on the first date with someone once, or twenty times (with twenty different people).
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