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You were only 17..so I am sure that you did not have tons of guy experience by then. You should of dumped his ass when he cheated. That story is BS. Going and getting drunk with the ex and they just HAPPEN to be in the same car? No..wise up. He is strait using you. Get your own place because you can afford it. Little boy can move back with mommy and daddy.
Don't mess around with men that cheat in a world with AIDS. Care about yourself more than that.
Your other experience may have made you feel worthless and you should seek therapy. It could be influencing your choices right now.
I agree, and say that you need to sit his butt down and tell him how you feel. Tell him that you are tired of supporting him, and that you are ready to move on with your life with, or without him.
He needs to take a good hard look at his own life, and realize that nothing comes free in this world.
I wish you the courage and strength to talk to him, and will give you a congratulations for taking notice and paying attention to his actions!!!
So I am in need of a little bit of help. I have been with my boyfriend for almost a year and a half now, I love him and everything has been perfect, except he has not had a job for over a year and is back living with his parents. Before you all tell me to kick him to the curb I want to provide the whole story.
I met my boyfriend shortly after I had been raped. He had been there for me and was one of the first guys who truly treated me right. He was willing to take things slow and has always been there for me when I would break down. He really opened up my life back to his former glory. I had my sense of adventure and fun back again. He is someone I can be myself with, I can talk to him and we always enjoy our time together. We have never had any big fights and when we have our arguments we talk everything out.
We had plans and dreams, a big part of my life goals were to set up business's and invest in real estate to create a passive income, which would enable me to travel and see the world. That had been one of his dreams too, to travel, to experience different cultures, it sounded great.
In December of 2008 he quit his job, I thought he'd find another one or at least pursue a business or become self employed, he had a one month part time job a while later but nothing after that.
In April I quit my job, thinking I could start up my own business, but that failed. In May I confirmed I was 2 months pregnant, but with no job, a boyfriend with no job and me being 17 I wasn’t able to go through with it. In June I went through an abortion, he was by my side, he told me he would make it work if I wanted to keep it, but I didn’t believe him.
Shortly after this had happened he told me that he had cheated on me. He had been out partying with his ex-girlfriend and some friends and had way to much to drink. He said he had woke up to them having sex in the back of her car. After he realised what happened he stopped and left. He told me right away, and it crushed me. I was unable to look at him or talk to him for weeks. But we worked through it and even though things aren't back to normal I'm back to being able to trust him again. He hasn't done it again, and refrains from drinking when I'm not around. But back to the story.
July I found a part time job, and in August I got a full-time job working for Microsoft. He still had nothing. I have now received 2 raises, and have been promoted and am climbing my career ladder. I am ready to get my own place and start my life. I really want him to come with me, but I know him not working will cause a lot of stress and I'm not sure how to go about it.
I don't know what I should do, how to help him. I want to build my life with him, but I don't know how to push him forward. He has the ability to work, he's been working from the time he was 16 to last December(he was 21). Nothing very permanent, but nonetheless working. I don't care what he does to make money, as long as its legal and ethical. I have been supporting him for over a year, providing him money, rides, paying for his cell phone, etc. but he just doesn't have any drive to move forward.
Does anybody have any good advice on what I should do. I'm determined to make this work, and would be willing to do anything, but I need some help.
Thank you in advance.
I can't help you if he doesn't recognize what his responsibilities are.
...Does anybody have any good advice on what I should do. I'm determined to make this work, and would be willing to do anything, but I need some help.
Break up with him. Yes, he was there for you after your rape. Yes, he has been kind. But that is not enough. And certainly after he has cheated on you it is apparent that he is untrustworthy. He has helped you along life's journey but you do not owe him some kind of ongoing commitment simply becasue he has been nice at times. Ditch him.
At 17 you are very young and do not need to saddle yourself with a guy who is going nowhere. Thoughts about starting a business and not working so you can see the world are great and all, but such things are pie-in-the-sky talk for most folks...for someone your age they're typically little more than daydreams. You should go to college and get an education. Get some valuable work experience that will enable you to be self sufficient so you won't have to reply on a guy. Get on birth control (so you don't end up in a bad jam again). And get a new boyfriend who treats you well but also has has more ambition and is more trustworthy.
I agree, and say that you need to sit his butt down and tell him how you feel. Tell him that you are tired of supporting him, and that you are ready to move on with your life with, or without him.
He needs to take a good hard look at his own life, and realize that nothing comes free in this world.
I wish you the courage and strength to talk to him, and will give you a congratulations for taking notice and paying attention to his actions!!!
Watch he does not manipulate you into forgiveness or "one more chance"
Does a guy that does not work for a year and has drunken sex in the back of a car deserve any more of your time to EXPLAIN why he sucks....I would be putting his crap at his parents house and chaning the locks.
He is just such garbage...I don't even think he deserves an explanation.
So I am in need of a little bit of help. I have been with my boyfriend for almost a year and a half now, I love him and everything has been perfect, except he has not had a job for over a year and is back living with his parents. Before you all tell me to kick him to the curb I want to provide the whole story.
I met my boyfriend shortly after I had been raped. He had been there for me and was one of the first guys who truly treated me right. He was willing to take things slow and has always been there for me when I would break down. He really opened up my life back to his former glory. I had my sense of adventure and fun back again. He is someone I can be myself with, I can talk to him and we always enjoy our time together. We have never had any big fights and when we have our arguments we talk everything out.
We had plans and dreams, a big part of my life goals were to set up business's and invest in real estate to create a passive income, which would enable me to travel and see the world. That had been one of his dreams too, to travel, to experience different cultures, it sounded great.
In December of 2008 he quit his job, I thought he'd find another one or at least pursue a business or become self employed, he had a one month part time job a while later but nothing after that.
In April I quit my job, thinking I could start up my own business, but that failed. In May I confirmed I was 2 months pregnant, but with no job, a boyfriend with no job and me being 17 I wasn’t able to go through with it. In June I went through an abortion, he was by my side, he told me he would make it work if I wanted to keep it, but I didn’t believe him.
Shortly after this had happened he told me that he had cheated on me. He had been out partying with his ex-girlfriend and some friends and had way to much to drink. He said he had woke up to them having sex in the back of her car. After he realised what happened he stopped and left. He told me right away, and it crushed me. I was unable to look at him or talk to him for weeks. But we worked through it and even though things aren't back to normal I'm back to being able to trust him again. He hasn't done it again, and refrains from drinking when I'm not around. But back to the story.
July I found a part time job, and in August I got a full-time job working for Microsoft. He still had nothing. I have now received 2 raises, and have been promoted and am climbing my career ladder. I am ready to get my own place and start my life. I really want him to come with me, but I know him not working will cause a lot of stress and I'm not sure how to go about it.
I don't know what I should do, how to help him. I want to build my life with him, but I don't know how to push him forward. He has the ability to work, he's been working from the time he was 16 to last December(he was 21). Nothing very permanent, but nonetheless working. I don't care what he does to make money, as long as its legal and ethical. I have been supporting him for over a year, providing him money, rides, paying for his cell phone, etc. but he just doesn't have any drive to move forward.
Does anybody have any good advice on what I should do. I'm determined to make this work, and would be willing to do anything, but I need some help.
Thank you in advance.
I realize that your hormones are in full drive at this point in your life, but what you need to do is concentrate on YOUR FUTURE and forget about romance for the time being.
You are 17 years old (if I read your post correctly) or there abouts. I am not even sure that you have graduated from high school yet. You do not mention anything about college, or your future except as it pertains to some schmoe who does not have much ambition.
I realize you have gone through a traumatic event, however, you need to think about YOUR FUTURE as it pertains to YOU. Not your relationship with another person.
What do you plan to do for the rest of YOUR life? Have a business? Fine, you need to get some education under your belt about how businesses operate. If you do not want to get a degree in business, then at least take some business and accounting courses so that you understand profit and loss statements, capital gains, depreciation, etc. Also, consider courses in marketing, demographics, economics, etc.
You mention something about investment properties. Do you know how to maintain rental properties? If you do not do a lot of the work yourself, then you must pay someone (handsomely) to do it for you, which cuts into the profits. Do you know how to do a thorough background search? Do you know anything about real estate documents, laws? etc.
Girl, EDUCATE yourself before you start trying to act like a grown-up. Find a man who is capable of handling the demands of a life and a world. Pick someone with some brains and some experience and most of all SOME AMBITION. Otherwise you are doomed to live a miserable, poor life.
To to school. Learn, learn, learn. And then when you are about 25 years old, then think about having a relationship with someone who is successful and capable of supporting you.
I think you should move on. Thank him for helping you through your difficult time but tell him you guys have grown into different people and it's now time to break it off. If you take him with you you will most likely end up hating him in the end and wasting a lot of time. It sounds like you have grown up a lot but he hasn't.
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time he was 16 to last December(he was 21). Nothing very permanent, but nonetheless working. I don't care what he does to make money, as long as its legal and ethical. I have been supporting him for over a year, providing him money, rides, paying for his cell phone, etc. but he just doesn't have any drive to move forward.
