Does Anyone Else Find It Difficult To Find A Relationship Because You're Older? (ladies, love)

[Miss Blue]

Originally Posted by vpcats

The answer is:

Let's all of us old sourpusses get together somewhere. Plan a cruise. There's always something else to do on a cruise. We'll even let the young sourpusses join in - single, married, widowed, divorced, gay, black, white, yellow, blue, mean, nice, happy, depressed, ... who cares.

I think that would be fun actually - and you never know..... "The Love Boat".

Okay, sourpuss, I mean vp, how bout this cruise! I am workin myself to death in this thread and am ready for a cruise, even though I will probably hang over the railing barfing all the time

[HDL]

KittensPurr, I only put the Readers Digest version of your post below, but my HAT is off to you sister ! Your wisdom is amazing and your advice is 'right on'! I can see you on Dr Phil any day now . What am I saying?! Forget Dr Phil, I see you having your own talk show !!! When fame and fortune comes your way (and it will), please don't forget me (LOL) !

There are some truly amazing women here on CDF!! Men too. I just have more of an opportunity to meet and forge relationships with the women. I thank those of you who open your hearts and lives and expose your deepest thoughts. I am blessed for having crossed your paths !

Hugs,

HDL

Originally Posted by KittensPurr

Hello Montana -

Some thoughtful advice posted here. I just wanted to relay a few things that I've noticed, in the hopes it could help anyone.


I like when a man is respectfully direct, striking up a casual conversation & then asking if I'd like to attend an event or have a coffee/lunch/drink with him. I know that women differ, probably many here, too, but I'm 48 & don't feel comfortable asking a man out. Perhaps it's a generational thing. Perhaps it's my upbringing. So, I do stay within my comfort zone, in regard to that. I've had lovely conversations in store/grocery/theatre lines, many, many times with men I would have gone out with, had they asked. Although there was a strong, immediate attraction on both sides, they left without asking. Yes, they could have been involved with someone else & then bravo to them for going home to her. She's one lucky woman & deserves the man she has. But, perhaps that's not always been the case. I'll never know, because they didn't ask. My point is, I'd think many women my age & older do wait to be approached. A nice feature in your music is that you can ask a woman if she'd like to hear you play & if she says "Sure, my husband loves that kind of music", still no loss. You may have great friends in the making & they'll surely know others who may be a nice match for you. It will expand your social circle & you'll have a full social calendar in no time. Remember that a 'no' doesn't always mean rejection of an individual, as it can sometimes mean you look like/sound like/reminder her of her ex/brother-in-law/boss, etc.


Enjoy TN & your music. Congratulations on your retirement! Enjoy everything... VV

HOW WONDERFUL vpcats! You are taking us all on a CRUISE !!! WOW, that is sooooo generous of you !! When should I plan my vacation? I was going to wait till Karla (aka myfask) and her DH went to visit Rance in Alaska on vacation and then 'sneak' into her house, but this sounds much better !

Originally Posted by vpcats

The answer is:

Let's all of us old sourpusses get together somewhere. Plan a cruise. There's always something else to do on a cruise. We'll even let the young sourpusses join in - single, married, widowed, divorced, gay, black, white, yellow, blue, mean, nice, happy, depressed, ... who cares.

I think that would be fun actually - and you never know..... "The Love Boat".

[Lisa_from_Debary]

I'll let you know if I ever start looking seriously.

I have already decided I want a younger one this time, they are more trainable and so eager to please...

Besides, I think it might take a young one to keep up with me anyway. (wink, wink, nod, nod)

[Baltic_Celt]

HappyDawgLady Re: "KittensPurr, your wisdom is amazing and your advice is 'right on'! I can see you on Dr Phil any day now . What am I saying?! Forget Dr Phil, I see you having your own talk show !!! When fame and fortune comes your way (and it will), please don't forget me (LOL)"


Ah, forget you HDL? Not a chance. You're very sweet, thank you for the kind comments & all the good wishes you've been sending my way. You're a treasure. Kitten hugs back at ya' Dawg... ... VV

[yvdc17a]

I think a church is an excellent place to start provided you are there for church and not to pick up "chicks" You have to get interested in helping others and you will find things begin to fall in to place. My mother-in-law was single from the time her son was 12 years old until she was 70. She started volunteering out at the Motion Picture Hospital and one day she met a guy whose wife had died the year before. He was there because he was lonely too. They hit it off and the rest was history.
However, you do need to be in a place where they have a population of more than 50+ people. I don't know about anyone else, but if I were single and looking to meet someone, I sure wouldn't be looking in montana. It it is too dang cold! Have you thought about relocating?

[ontheroad]

MontanaGuy, just stopped by and see you haven't posted in some time.

I am very curious as to your thoughts about some of the responses, and if you yourself have any new ideas about how to find a relationship.

Hope all is well!

[MontanaGuy]

Thanks everyone for so many positive ideas and support. The only thing holding me back now is that I'm having a tough time selling my house in Phoenix. It's been on the market over seven months but I'm afraid it's going to take a few more. It's extremely slow and there's about 43,000 single family homes for sale in the metro area and probably about 60,000 when you add the condos and townhomes. My realtor says that's about an eight month inventory so I'm going to have to be patient.
I've got to admit that it makes me feel much better after reading all of these posts though. It's easy to get in a rut and I've been in one for quite awhile. I think it's hard to break old habits, like living like a hermit. That's not a good habit if you want to meet someone.

[Sam I Am]

MG -

Head to the closest Barnes and Noble....you can hang out all day and look at prospects, drink a little coffee.......if anything ever happens to spouse, I won't be the market for another (this is marriage #3, and it's been a charm)...but if I were going to look, I'd be looking for a reader - and not in the WWII section :-)

[ontheroad]

Hermits live alone!

Stay optimistic and B&N won't hurt ya reading and coffee drinking habits, if you have them!

And most of all good luck in selling your place and moving on. A new environment may be the trick! But nothing like the present!

[Miss Blue]

Originally Posted by MontanaGuy

Thanks everyone for so many positive ideas and support. The only thing holding me back now is that I'm having a tough time selling my house in Phoenix. It's been on the market over seven months but I'm afraid it's going to take a few more. It's extremely slow and there's about 43,000 single family homes for sale in the metro area and probably about 60,000 when you add the condos and townhomes. My realtor says that's about an eight month inventory so I'm going to have to be patient.
I've got to admit that it makes me feel much better after reading all of these posts though. It's easy to get in a rut and I've been in one for quite awhile. I think it's hard to break old habits, like living like a hermit. That's not a good habit if you want to meet someone.

See Montana, and you thought you weren't attractive to women. Now, I have been watching real close and you are more out of that rut than you think you are. So you are having trouble with the housing market, can't help you there, but from what I see btween the lines you are doing pretty good in the female department, and don't tell yourself there aren't any ladies in Phoenix who would be interested.........I just had another brainstorm, Montana, I will check it out first and let you know Be back later!