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Yes, I'm LDS, but I believe I'm actually very objective about the shortcomings of my religion. I have spoken out against my Church's treatment of the LGBT community and against its previous discrimination against people of African descent. Incidentally, I also have two grown kids, both of whom have left Mormonism. I wasn't thrilled about their choice, but having always taught them the importance of integrity and following one's conscience, I couldn't fault them for their decision. I just found the OP to be very emotionally immature. It wasn't so much that she wanted to leave Mormonism as how she expressed her frustrations, some of which I suspect her parents might have offered another perspective on. If you'll go back and read my comments, I started out by offering some suggestions that were much the same as other posters gave, i.e. that she be patient a while longer and try to get along with her parents as best she could and then to move out at the earliest opportunity. The only thing I didn't do was say, "Poor baby. Trapped by the Mormons."
While I disagree with your beliefs, after following your posts here for some time, I've come to admire you. And this post is a good example of why.
I know exactly how you feel adg, only I was trapped in a war zone living with two dysfunctional alcoholics. I escaped when I was 19. I know that hopeless feeling because I started planning my escape in my early teens. I worked any job I could get so I could buy a car. I finally paid it off and had to refinance it to make house payments because my parents were behind. It was soul crushing.
Understand that this is not your whole life. This is a small portion of it and you have decades of freedom heading your way. All I can tell you is keep your eye on the prize and start planning for your future now. My father wanted to have his name on my bank account and I said no. He was on my brothers account and robbed him blind. Don't tell your parents, just open up a checking or savings account in your name only. You are old enough to get a job and with direct deposit your parents will never know how much you make. Have the statements sent to a friend's house or get a post office box. There's not much they can do to you at 18. You will survive this. I survived out and out physical and mental abuse. Life is going to get better for you.
I know exactly how you feel adg, only I was trapped in a war zone living with two dysfunctional alcoholics. I escaped when I was 19. I know that hopeless feeling because I started planning my escape in my early teens. I worked any job I could get so I could buy a car. I finally paid it off and had to refinance it to make house payments because my parents were behind. It was soul crushing.
Understand that this is not your whole life. This is a small portion of it and you have decades of freedom heading your way. All I can tell you is keep your eye on the prize and start planning for your future now. My father wanted to have his name on my bank account and I said no. He was on my brothers account and robbed him blind. Don't tell your parents, just open up a checking or savings account in your name only. You are old enough to get a job and with direct deposit your parents will never know how much you make. Have the statements sent to a friend's house or get a post office box. There's not much they can do to you at 18. You will survive this. I survived out and out physical and mental abuse. Life is going to get better for you.
So I was born into the mormon religion, my parents have been mormon their whole life. They basically dedicate their whole life to this one religion. I'm now 18 and they have told me that I can make my own decisions but it doesn't mean they will agree with me. (Also they've known even since I was 13 I haven't wanted to be apart of the LDS church and they refused to let me make my own decisions)
I've told them multiples times I don't want to be mormon and that I don't believe in it, and they just get mad and punish me. Even when I'm sick in bed and don't go to church they take away my car and disconnect my cell phone. I've dealt with this my whole life and I'm not financially stable enough to support myself so I can get out of this hell hole, especially because every time I do make money they steal it/take it away from me.
The main cause of my depression is because of my parents and them controlling me and my life and trying to force their beliefs and this <<cut>> religion on me. I feel like I'm never going to escape.
Don't argue with them until you are financially independent. Keep your thoughts to yourself and bide your time.
go to college or learn a trade, save money for property, and diversify your assets. You need to be financially independent.
If you're going to join the military, join the airforce and do something in intelligence.
Make sure to take a yoga class, run, and drink lots of water.
I appreciate all the advice, but I feel stuck and trapped in a place I am supposed to feel safe and be who I actually am instead of pretending to be someone who I am not. I have told my parents since I was around 12 I did not want to be LDS and that it should be my choice, especially since it is my life and now I am only getting older.
Moving out is an option but not for the far future because I'll have to pay for school so it is unrealistic for me to move out when all my savings will go towards school. Yes I believe anyone can move away or become independent if they really want to, but sometimes the odds are not in their favor which is how I feel.
I respect my parents and their beliefs, but I don't understand how I don't receive the same respect back, I am not an atheist but I don't view myself as someone actually apart of the LDS community because I don't believe it and I have the right to believe what I want or don't want to. Don't get me wrong I love my parents but I don't agree with how they have forced the LDS religion on me or I would get threaten and consequences for not doing what they want me to do. At what point in your life do they stop trying to force you to be someone you are not. They have always been very closed-minded and judgmental and growing up seeing that I made sure I did not want to be anything like them and it makes me realize that in my future that once I do finally become independent and move out that they will reject me and they won't be in my life for major key events in life like when I get married it won't be in the LDS temple and I just have a feeling they will resent me for that and that I'm living a life of "sin" and going down the wrong path.
O have heard this problem so often - in all kinds of religions (in one instance, surprisingly, Sikhism) and giving advice is hard. Often it's grit you teeth and go along with it at least until you can engineer a Life for yourself. The other option is to battle it out, and this can succeed in winning a sort of 'mutual respect' truce, but it is no easy or quick path.
I appreciate all the advice, but I feel stuck and trapped in a place I am supposed to feel safe and be who I actually am instead of pretending to be someone who I am not. I have told my parents since I was around 12 I did not want to be LDS and that it should be my choice, especially since it is my life and now I am only getting older.
Moving out is an option but not for the far future because I'll have to pay for school so it is unrealistic for me to move out when all my savings will go towards school. Yes I believe anyone can move away or become independent if they really want to, but sometimes the odds are not in their favor which is how I feel.
I respect my parents and their beliefs, but I don't understand how I don't receive the same respect back, I am not an atheist but I don't view myself as someone actually apart of the LDS community because I don't believe it and I have the right to believe what I want or don't want to. Don't get me wrong I love my parents but I don't agree with how they have forced the LDS religion on me or I would get threaten and consequences for not doing what they want me to do. At what point in your life do they stop trying to force you to be someone you are not. They have always been very closed-minded and judgmental and growing up seeing that I made sure I did not want to be anything like them and it makes me realize that in my future that once I do finally become independent and move out that they will reject me and they won't be in my life for major key events in life like when I get married it won't be in the LDS temple and I just have a feeling they will resent me for that and that I'm living a life of "sin" and going down the wrong path.
There are two choices: Make your own life, or live theirs. Choose one. Quit whining.
[NOTE: this commentary is on the views, stance, attitudes expressed. not on the person or individual posting.]
it is relevant to religion and spirituality because compassion (for self, for others) is pertinent to both the forum and the thread topic]
[NOTE: this commentary is on the views, stance, attitudes expressed. not on the person or individual posting.]
it is relevant to religion and spirituality because compassion (for self, for others) is pertinent to both the forum and the thread topic]
Either the person wants to solve their problem or they don't. This problem is solvable...just not convenient. There are many problems that may confront us in life that we can do very little about. And then there are the problems that we can tackle and work through.
This really is a more blunt way of expressing the Serenity Prayer (although it has very little to do with praying or god):
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can,
And wisdom to know the difference.
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