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I read a similar article in The Economist two years ago, and it scared the hell out of me, at 78 and alone.
My solution is not for everyone, and required a huge amount of luck, but involved going on line and finding a 50-year old wife in the Philippines.
A year later I had a disabling stroke. Instead of an iron bed among strangers in a public nursing home, I have the 24 hour care and affection in the loving arms of a wonderful and competent and trustworthy woman in my own home. These have been the best years of my life, but had I not taken action, would have been my worst nightmare with no hope of escape...
I'm glad to hear that and hope you are doing better after your stroke. Hang in there!
Don’t depend on your children to be your caregivers. Most have their own lives and can’t quit work to take care of you. They also have their own children and many other obligations.
And many with children experience the same level of isolation, poor health and inaccessibility to quality health care, as well. The point is to learn to take care of yourself in all aspects of your quality of life and not be dependent upon others.
Don’t depend on your children to be your caregivers. Most have their own lives and can’t quit work to take care of you. They also have their own children and many other obligations.
Good advice. I know parents who moved long distances to be with their adult kids only to be abandoned when the kids no longer needed them. For one woman it was devastating. She moved to help out her kids with the grandkids when the children were babies only to be rejected when she wasn’t needed to take card of them any longer. She had given up so much and got very little to nil in return.
If course the opposite can happen I know of parents or a parent who followed their kids and it was a huge success.
The point is there are no guarantees your kids will take care of you in your old age.
The point is to learn to take care of yourself in all aspects of your quality of life and not be dependent upon others.
But at the extremes of life (childhood and old age) dependence on others is often unavoidable. That's the problem. Most people aren't fortunate enough to live in perfect health until they suddenly just drop dead (which is the only way to guarantee never needing to be dependent on others in one's final years).
You're right - we don't actually know that because we aren't the respondent or his new wife. Each of us can only assume - but people always tend to assume the worst. Distorted perception or not - the woman is an adult - 50 yrs old and can make her own decisions. If she can't hack it - she can't hack it - just as many of us may not be able to hack it.
I love how we don't seem to discuss - but rip people up on these forums lately. People argue to argue.
No one is arguing. This is discussion.
I haven't even mentioned the fact that multiple people keep mentioning Filipina women. We would have to consider the role of women in that culture and the power dynamics. But that's a discussion for another thread.
just wow. This is really creepy. How old was your dad when your mom passed?
80
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