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I work w/ elders and I see their children visiting them (or hear they came) maybe once a month, on average. Some come by every few weeks. If they're really ill, at the end, they might come by more often or move in the spare bedroom the last week or so.
There are exceptions I can think of right now, maybe 4-5 families out of 80 where the families are very involved, but it's rare. If they live out of state, once or twice a year. They can afford CNA's to help w/ the care and that's who does most of it.
??!
What kind of people do you socialize with that don't help their parents out!
I have no idea how you took that from my post. Please reread it. I know plenty of couples whose children are unfortunately mentally or physically handicapped, who are estranged, and/or require financial support their entire lives because they are just not equipped to make it on their own. They will always be some sort of burden to their parents throughout their lives rather than guarantees of eldercare.
I have no idea how you took that from my post. Please reread it. I know plenty of couples whose children are unfortunately mentally or physically handicapped, who are estranged, and/or require financial support their entire lives because they are just not equipped to make it on their own. They will always be some sort of burden to their parents throughout their lives rather than guarantees of eldercare.
all Are of your friends clones of the Cleavers?
My friends and acquaintances are all normal functioning adults - as are all my co-workers and my husband's co-workers.
As are 90%(?) of people in society. So the chances are good that children will assist parents.
Do you think any of your co-workers/ex-coworkers would not assist their parents? Perhaps take them to doctor's appointments, make sure they are taking the right prescription etc.
To those who apparently find it incredulous that a child would not help out a parent.:
1) not all families are "loving giving havens of happiness".
2) the child/ren may be 3000 miles away, and not able to leave their job. Sure theres American family medical leave, but that has a time limit.
3) children may have their own children, called the "squeeze family". It wears the caregiver kids out on both ends.
4) i grew up as a caregiver from age 9 to a mother who had progressive multiple sclerosis. Sure there was my father, but the bulk of it fell to me, especially day time while my father worked. I would not want to subject a child of mine to what i went through for 14 years of my life, as i didnt move out until my father retired.
5) i think many of you who think a child should, have never done it, OR you enjoyed doing it. Thats great for you but not for all.
Each person should plan on having care in place for them, not expect kids to do it.
If you have a pollyanna life where its all sunshine and roses....great for you.
My friends and acquaintances are all normal functioning adults - as are all my co-workers and my husband's co-workers.
You sound naive. In my experience, we rarely know the full truth of the lives of our friends and coworkers. Even parents and children keep secrets from one another.
Regardless, you seem to be riding some hobby horse here that is completely unrelated to my initial post in this thread. You can carry on without my help.
I work w/ elders and I see their children visiting them (or hear they came) maybe once a month, on average. Some come by every few weeks. If they're really ill, at the end, they might come by more often or move in the spare bedroom the last week or so.
There are exceptions I can think of right now, maybe 4-5 families out of 80 where the families are very involved, but it's rare. If they live out of state, once or twice a year. They can afford CNA's to help w/ the care and that's who does most of it.
This sounds more realistic to me.
When my mom was in an assisted care home my sister who was retired came to visit her nearly every day. Most of my mom's friends and even some of the residents she didn't know all that well "adopted" my sister for want of their own relatives coming to visit but rarely did. My sister was very supportive, always taking an interest in those who wanted to chat. My mom got a bit jealous at times when she thought my sister was paying too much attention to the others.
I think articles like these only look at how people who don't have children and take it as a given they will be "dangerous unsupported" in old age. One the other hand, they look at people with kids and just assume these people will be taken care of by their kids simply because they have them.
These authors are predicting the future based on assumption not in fact. They should be interviewing people like you who deal with the situation every day.
You sound naive. In my experience, we rarely know the full truth of the lives of our friends and coworkers. Even parents and children keep secrets from one another.
Regardless, you seem to be riding some hobby horse here that is completely unrelated to my initial post in this thread. You can carry on without my help.
Don't know what you mean by this - but regardless, we disagree that's all.
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