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Old 08-22-2019, 09:35 AM
 
Location: ☀️ SWFL ⛱ 🌴
2,505 posts, read 1,728,834 times
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I have several groups I enjoy. We are people with a common interest which bonds us. Some members still work. The people I enjoy being around don’t have work or health as their main topic. Of course a few do excessively and I’ve learned avoidance skills for my survival. Another one doesn’t talk about her work, which is interesting to me, and I find myself asking her questions. I keep it to a minimum though, she’s not there to talk about her work.

With other retirees in the groups, it usually takes time to learn their former professions. If they still define themselves by the jobs and titles they had when they first meet me, I find that off-putting and sad. They are in the same category of those who define themselves by children and grandchildren. Both, work and family, make up part of who these people are, but it’s not appropriate to lead with that info when meeting others, IMO. It’s a delicate balance and I gravitate towards those who get it mostly right.

Last edited by jean_ji; 08-22-2019 at 09:56 AM..
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Old 08-22-2019, 09:49 AM
 
1,859 posts, read 669,098 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by otterhere View Post
QUOTE: Despite the "socially valued" career, I can tell you guys that right now (I am 59) my months off are infinitely superior in terms of happiness and meaningful life to the months when I work. If that is the situation with my "good" career, I can only imagine how relieved people are to break free from miserable, mind-numbing, energy-draining jobs.

But surely, being only semi-retired, part of the enjoyment of your months off is the contrast with your months on. There can be no light without darkness, as the saying goes.

Not sure that this is the case. I have been self-employed, working on time-limited contracts as an independent contractor, for most of my career. When I worked full time, I took contracts back to back, with no downtime. When I decided to take them "occasionally", I was actually mentally prepared for full retirement if needed. When I am between contracts, I just assume that I will never work again (although I have gone back repeatedly, often to places where I had worked before, and have actually worked much more than I planned in my "semi-retirement". I suppose I still end up taking contracts because I am very experienced with work in many different settings, and it is easy to slide back into something in which one has been deeply immersed before, for no particular reason... just ask addicts how that works:-). So, nowadays whenever I take time off, I assume the retirement is final, and do not count upon taking another contract, and in that sense, I think like a full retiree. The thought of never working again does not bother me at all.


The thing is, I have a million personal interests. I would need about five average human lives just to read everything I want to read. Even when I get too feeble for constant travel that I am pursuing now, I don't think I'll ever run out of things to trigger my attention.
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Old 08-22-2019, 10:36 AM
 
1,661 posts, read 346,985 times
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Originally Posted by elnrgby View Post
Not sure that this is the case. I have been self-employed, working on time-limited contracts as an independent contractor, for most of my career. When I worked full time, I took contracts back to back, with no downtime. When I decided to take them "occasionally", I was actually mentally prepared for full retirement if needed. When I am between contracts, I just assume that I will never work again (although I have gone back repeatedly, often to places where I had worked before, and have actually worked much more than I planned in my "semi-retirement". I suppose I still end up taking contracts because I am very experienced with work in many different settings, and it is easy to slide back into something in which one has been deeply immersed before, for no particular reason... just ask addicts how that works:-). So, nowadays whenever I take time off, I assume the retirement is final, and do not count upon taking another contract, and in that sense, I think like a full retiree. The thought of never working again does not bother me at all.


The thing is, I have a million personal interests. I would need about five average human lives just to read everything I want to read. Even when I get too feeble for constant travel that I am pursuing now, I don't think I'll ever run out of things to trigger my attention.
That also crossed my mind. "So many books, so little time"
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Old 08-22-2019, 12:29 PM
 
7,969 posts, read 4,514,315 times
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Originally Posted by TMSRetired View Post
That also crossed my mind. "So many books, so little time"
Would you not get bored doing nothing but reading books? Or doing only one thing day after day no matter what it was? I personally believe we need not only a sense of purpose and meaning, and structure to a greater or lesser degree, but also variety in our lives. Just my opinion, however!
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Old 08-22-2019, 12:56 PM
 
1,661 posts, read 346,985 times
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Originally Posted by otterhere View Post
Would you not get bored doing nothing but reading books? Or doing only one thing day after day no matter what it was? I personally believe we need not only a sense of purpose and meaning, and structure to a greater or lesser degree, but also variety in our lives. Just my opinion, however!

Otter, I didn't mean that literally. I do read every day for a few hours..mostly after dinner when people typically sit in front of their TV's.

I also treat rainy, dreary, overcast days as a bonus "read all day" if you want.

If you need structure and purpose then define YOUR goals for retirement.
Sounds like starting a business from scratch may be what you makes you happy in retirement.
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Old 08-22-2019, 12:57 PM
 
Location: Loudon, TN
6,006 posts, read 4,982,046 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by otterhere View Post
Would you not get bored doing nothing but reading books? Or doing only one thing day after day no matter what it was? I personally believe we need not only a sense of purpose and meaning, and structure to a greater or lesser degree, but also variety in our lives. Just my opinion, however!
And that's what I enjoy about retirement, the variety. My work had a lot of variety minute to minute, day to day, but in general every month was a similar cycle of tasks and deadlines, etc. In retirement we have had so much variety.

Initially we lived in our lifelong home state, then we spent a year or so fixing up our home and property to sell. Then we readied for the move and made it. Then we had to set up and settle into our new life. Then we got an idea to sell our rental and buy a vacation rental to manage. That became two separate projects. Then we had the project of improving and redecorating the new property, and enjoying our time in the area where that property is. A year and a half of that, and now we've finished. Since we're no longer tied down with our elderly, sick dogs (may they rest their sweet souls), we are starting to use the profits from the rental to travel. We've never been big travelers before as we didn't have the money or time, so we have so many places to go. We also enjoy our various hobbies and picked up some new ones. We've bought and sold vehicles, and tried the boating life a little. Sold the boat, and are considering a travel trailer and doing all the national parks over many years. We retired pretty early so we have a lot of time to do a lot of different things that we never could with just our annual vacation time.

I anticipate many projects and changes in our future, and that's the way we like it. We're the 60-somethings in the magazine photos on rollercoasters and waterslides screaming our faces off. And of course we have quiet time, down time between all this stuff, and there's that variety again. Retirement is what you make of it, as much or as little as you desire.
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Old 08-22-2019, 02:08 PM
 
16,576 posts, read 4,360,880 times
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I've always been "highly relevant" - that is, to employees, industries, vendors, etc. - when I retired from physical businesses (young), I was very relevant in web publishing and consultant and some adult teaching and volunteer work.

I sold my last two online biz setups in the past 5 years so now I officially have zero to do.

It is somewhat of a transition. Part of it is that responsibilities have not gone away and, in fact, they are increasing (sick child, old parents, etc.) - and some of it will be long and drawn out. We can't run away from that, so some of the die is cast.

I never had thought too much about retirement - probably a good thing because I have had lots of enjoyment in my work and then in my semi-retirement, so I don't keep a bucket list.

But there is an acceptance needed...for those who worked jobs of responsibility and innovation/creation. That is, one must accept their irrelevance to the world in general more, while noting their relevance to their family more.
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Old 08-22-2019, 03:38 PM
 
Location: SoCal
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I never need to lie, but I don’t need to boast either. If asked, I just say I’m a retired engineer and that’s it.
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Old 08-22-2019, 04:34 PM
 
308 posts, read 122,744 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by otterhere View Post
Agree about the title; it's somewhat misleading. The only people I know of who literally lie about being retired are usually on disability instead and also usually on the "hoarders" shows. As I say, I'd be more interested in those who lie about what retirement is really like.

I wouldn't say I'm lying by stating disabled instead of retired. If I could work, I probably would for a few more years just for insurance coverage.


I promise you, I will NEVER be on one of the "hoarders" shows!
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Old 08-22-2019, 06:46 PM
 
1,859 posts, read 669,098 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by otterhere View Post
Would you not get bored doing nothing but reading books? Or doing only one thing day after day no matter what it was? I personally believe we need not only a sense of purpose and meaning, and structure to a greater or lesser degree, but also variety in our lives. Just my opinion, however!

Well yes, it would get boring to read the same book day after day. Fortunately, there are millions of different books :-). If you want to read something every day, that automatically creates structure. Purpose and meaning? Human brain has evolved to avoid pain and seek pleasure - that is pretty much the whole purpose and meaning, though different people find pleasure in different activities. Whatever is meaningful to me is probably meaningless to Kim Kardashian, and certainly vice versa :-).
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