Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Are they supposed to have a special card that they send out to people whom they know won't come? What part of anything I posted indicated that I wanted a "special" card? I thought I made it clear I didn't want a card at all. That's pretty obvious that they don't exactly expect you to attend, especially if they're sending it a few days before the wedding. Uh. Yeah. That's pretty much what I said. Do YOU send Christmas cards to them? Yes, I did for a few years. Also sent them birthday cards, anniversary cards, called them, invited them to dinner, etc. When I ran into a brick wall, my husband told me to stop. I don't mean to sound rude or judgemental. But you were - you have no idea of the family dynamics, yet you choose to do armchair psychology. I'm always amused on here when someone, who DOES NOT start with the words, "I need advice, or input, etc." but simply makes a statement about their own experiences is met with "Oh, you sound selfish, or mean, or blah, blah, blah." Why don't folks just accept a statement at face value? When I send invites out, I send them to people I care about, folks who know us, whom I think care about us, folks I genuinely love and trust, etc. If that makes me have "bad manners," in your eyes, I'm okay with that. We have family members whom we have not seen for decades either, nor do we exchange Christmas cards, however, we DO receive graduation announcements, birth announcements and wedding announcements. We rarely attend those functions, but we DO send them a card, thanking them for sharing the good news and wishing them the best. I have the same relationship with MY side of the family. We try very hard to attend as many functions as we can, because we genuinely love and care for them. They've always been there for us and we have a wonderful, warm, caring relationship and friendship. Would be great if all families could be that way --- but, hey, newsflash - they're not. Especially as you have not spoken with them in a long time. Hah, not spoken, not seen. What part of "if they passed us on the street, we wouldn't know them" is incomprehensible? It's been over 3 decades - that's over 30 years that we have not had a single, solitary thing to do with this money hungry greedy selfish bunch, except for their blatant attempts to shake us down. And please, before you start in on maybe they're not "money hungry greedy and selfish," or the "stop assuming" they send invites trolling for money, try to remember that YOU don't know them and we do. Assuming an invitation is ill-intentioned is honestly adding unnecessary angst. The invite is not "ill-intended," they simply want money - and there was no "unnecessary angst," except, evidently, in your mind. I simply ignore them, which is what I think I said to begin with. Again, it was a statement of fact. Would YOU send them an invite in order to beg for gifts? Absolutely not. We've never sent them anything. We've sent NO high school graduation announcements, no college graduation announcements, in fact - when our son got married, it never once occurred to us to invite anyone on hubby's side of the family. So no. Nothing from us. obvious anger/storing bitterness - We don't have anything to do with his family. We're happy with that. You make a lot of assumptions, perhaps you're projecting something wrong with your life? No, we're most assuredly not bitter and we're not angry. I was angry 35 years ago, when I tried very hard and got rejected. Since then, I realized nothing I could have done would have satisfied them, they simply had too many negative traits, thoughts and directions that were not conducive to anyone. It was my husband who decided it was best to cut off HIS family. In retrospect, I wish we'd come to that conclusion much sooner, but with age and distance comes wisdom. We're very happy, retired, we travel (spent a few weeks in Europe recently), our immediate family is happy and healthy, we have absolutely no complaints.
It's a forum. If someone makes a statement, yes, by all means go ahead and give your opinion - but don't jump to a conclusion about a situation you clearly know nothing about. It might be nice for you two to give the poster the benefit of the doubt.
obvious anger/storing bitterness - We don't have anything to do with his family. We're happy with that. You make a lot of assumptions, perhaps you're projecting something wrong with your life? No, we're most assuredly not bitter and we're not angry.
I know I wasn't the one who this message was directed at, but maybe others have thought you are still angry/bitter about what happened 30 years ago because you seem to bring it up often on this forum. I know I have seen the exact same spiel you give about that side of the family multiple times in at least 3 different topics. Most people who read one topic in a forum are probably going to read most of the other topics, so they are seeing time and time again you wanting to bring up how greedy and money hungry you think these people are. I understand that sometimes the story might kind of sort of go along with the topic, but since it has been 30 years, maybe its time to let go and just forget about those people? It just seems a little odd to want to continuously talk about them to strangers on an internet forum when you say you are long past wanting anything to do with them.
I know I wasn't the one who this message was directed at, but maybe others have thought you are still angry/bitter about what happened 30 years ago because you seem to bring it up often on this forum. I know I have seen the exact same spiel you give about that side of the family multiple times in at least 3 different topics. Most people who read one topic in a forum are probably going to read most of the other topics, so they are seeing time and time again you wanting to bring up how greedy and money hungry you think these people are. I understand that sometimes the story might kind of sort of go along with the topic, but since it has been 30 years, maybe its time to let go and just forget about those people? It just seems a little odd to want to continuously talk about them to strangers on an internet forum when you say you are long past wanting anything to do with them.
I bring it up because of, yes, the topic, and because of other posters who keep questioning my statements, but you're right. I am done with it.
I bring it up because of, yes, the topic, and because of other posters who keep questioning my statements, but you're right. I am done with it.
Hard to tell from where I am, or where most of the rest of us are, I am guessing. As not only do you continue to mention it, you continue to use it as a basis to make insinuations about my life and relationship with my future in laws (which as they are throwing the reception at our wedding, all seems good thanks). So, right back at you. I am guessing you have decided to insinuate I am unable to get along with my future inlaws because you are still, very clearly, angry that you made attempt after attempt to reach out to them and were rebuffed. While I do not personally know how that feels, it seems obvious that there is anger there.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
