Boston is so polite! (cliquey, live, racism)

[vanitycase]

When I first moved here, I got all these warnings about what a rude town Boston is, and how cliquey and close-knit the society is, and how people will swear at me on the street, etc. I totally expected it to be another New York.

But Boston is perfectly polite.

Everyone remembers their pleases and thank yous, people smile and hold doors open if you're entering behind them, and many times the men address me with "miss" (I'm a twenty-something), which I thought was charming because nobody says "miss" anymore. Just last week I was walking towards South Station and a stranger passing me on Summer Street randomly nodded, smiled and said, "Have a good day, miss."

Now, this could be because the financial district is a nicer part of town and that's why people are pleasant, but I've encountered similar politeness in more "blue collar" areas like Southie.

I will admit that the drivers here are insane lunatics, but Bostonians in general are a hundred times better-mannered than New Yorkers. This city is almost as polite as London.

So where does the "Boston is rude" stereotype come from? Because I don't see it. Did other people come to Boston and feel surprised by the good manners? How does my experience compare to yours?

[NotAPrincess]

Originally Posted by vanitycase

Everyone remembers their pleases and thank yous, people smile and hold doors open if you're entering behind them, and many times the men address me with "miss" (I'm a twenty-something), which I thought was charming because nobody says "miss" anymore. Just last week I was walking towards South Station and a stranger passing me on Summer Street randomly nodded, smiled and said, "Have a good day, miss."

Young cute women get a lot of politeness directed at them

[wanderer71]

Bostonians are definitely polite. I've never agreed with or understood the comments about them being rude.

One thing I've noticed now that I've lived in other parts of the country: Boston natives don't bother with the 'fake politeness' of other regions like the southeast. They are simply more direct.
I also think the Boston accent and manner of speaking might come off as gruff to those from other regions, when it just isn't.

[Cavaturaccioli]

Tell 'em you're a New York Yankee fan. Then tell us where you want your remains sent.

[lovelife11]

I dont know where the whole rude thing comes from either. I too feel new yorkers are way way mean. I have strangers in boston hold the door for me too. And even when i was in southie i had random people speak to me..which i found odd because im a black female and i was told southie residents hate black people??? I have a guy friend who says bostonians are rude to him, but i maybe its because im a female or something...i dont know. But i never got a thank you or hello in new york city...i guess it goes to show u that u cant always listen to other people's opinions

Originally Posted by vanitycase

When I first moved here, I got all these warnings about what a rude town Boston is, and how cliquey and close-knit the society is, and how people will swear at me on the street, etc. I totally expected it to be another New York.

But Boston is perfectly polite.

Everyone remembers their pleases and thank yous, people smile and hold doors open if you're entering behind them, and many times the men address me with "miss" (I'm a twenty-something), which I thought was charming because nobody says "miss" anymore. Just last week I was walking towards South Station and a stranger passing me on Summer Street randomly nodded, smiled and said, "Have a good day, miss."

Now, this could be because the financial district is a nicer part of town and that's why people are pleasant, but I've encountered similar politeness in more "blue collar" areas like Southie.

I will admit that the drivers here are insane lunatics, but Bostonians in general are a hundred times better-mannered than New Yorkers. This city is almost as polite as London.

So where does the "Boston is rude" stereotype come from? Because I don't see it. Did other people come to Boston and feel surprised by the good manners? How does my experience compare to yours?

[vanitycase]

Originally Posted by NotAPrincess

Young cute women get a lot of politeness directed at them

Lol, my cuteness might be debatable I'm sure! Anyway, the women here have spoken to me very politely too, so I doubt it's because of my looks or lack thereof.

lovelife11: I too have heard about lingering racism in Southie, I'm glad you only had a positive experience there.

One thing that a colleague here suggested to me is that the east coast is much more clearly class-conscious than other parts of the country, so the way people react to you is partly a reflection of how you are dressed and how you talk. This colleague is from a snobby town in Connecticut so he might be speaking from his experience there, but I'm wondering if that applies to Boston as well. Somehow I don't think a Bostonian's politeness depends on what they think of your status (just my personal experience), but has anyone had experiences that suggest that might be the case?

[snatale1]

Originally Posted by vanitycase

When I first moved here, I got all these warnings about what a rude town Boston is, and how cliquey and close-knit the society is, and how people will swear at me on the street, etc. I totally expected it to be another New York.

But Boston is perfectly polite.

Yup, were polite the stories are propaganda. If there one thing Boston isn't and NEVER WILL BE it's "another New York"

[Maroon197]

Granted I haven't lived in Boston very long, but i've come across tons of rude people in my time here. I've also come across tons of really genuine, nice people. And I've met more than my fair share of completely neutral people. It's almost like there are lots of different people and personalities within the same city or something.

[New Englander]

I have not encountered any extraordinary rudeness in Boston. I mean its a city which offers a certain anonymity and with millions of people in the metro area, sure some will be rude, other polite.

I think its pure nonsense for people to say "City X is nice or City Y is rude"

[Texabama]

Originally Posted by New Englander

I have not encountered any extraordinary rudeness in Boston. I mean its a city which offers a certain anonymity and with millions of people in the metro area, sure some will be rude, other polite.

I think its pure nonsense for people to say "City X is nice or City Y is rude"

Well, when a very high percentage of people in this forum say they have experienced lots of rudeness here, I'd say there's something to it.

If you were to search all of City-Data forums, you would not come close to the length of the "rude topic" threads like you do here.

I say the label is fairly accurate.