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The posters here supporting the boy are evidence of why criminal charges are necessary.
Parents of many kids reinforce "boys will be boys" in attacks on girls, meaning the state has to use criminal charges to support the law and prevent a reinforcement of this culture. Basically they have to undo the damage of misogynist parents. Remember, this is NOT a six year old.
I was less strong in this view at the start of the thread but being reminded of how some people are socializing their boys makes me absolutely support charges on the facts as I understand them.
I can't even believe what some people are writing.
They went overboard in charging him, but he did commit a crime. Why do we excuse behavior just because they are 13? By age 8-9 they know it's wrong.
Let me tell you a little (true) story. When I was this kids age I had a neighborhood kid who always ran his mouth insulting other kids, he especially like to do so and then run into his house, open the front window and berate those of us who waited outside to teach him a lesson.
One day while we walked to the bus stop I'd had enough and picked up this little twit and tossed him in the (calm, lazy) river we had to walk next to. He obviously got soaked.
Next thing I know I'm standing in front of the assistant principal AND a cop whom his mother had called being told I was to be suspended and an assault report was being filed.
Fast forward 30 years and I had a background check done on me by a workers comp insurance company prior to a hearing. Imagine my SHOCK that this actually came up.
So much for buried and sealed.
s:
So you were violent and had to deal with the consequences of it so you don't want other boys to have to deal with the same consequences? I'm sorry, I know a lot of annoying, crappy, cowardly people. But I also know that you don't put your hands on them.
There's a difference between thinking something is not ok and bringing down the force of punishment on a young teenage boy for a violation of societal rules.
It's NOT okay to kiss or touch someone who doesn't want to be touched. But what this boy did is not the same thing as rape and it's not the same thing as a violent physical assault and it shouldn't be punished in the same way as either of those things. At school, work and in the legal system there are grades of punishment based on the notion that the punishment should fit the crime. There also exists the notion that people should get a warning that their behavior is unacceptable. That's why in the workplace a person who violates a rule will generally first get a verbal reprimand, then a written reprimand if she repeats the behavior, followed by a suspension before being terminated.
This boy should be punished, but a reprimand and detention would be sufficient, IMO. Lots of people are saying that a 13-year-old boy should know better, but I'm wondering how many 13-year-old boys they know. Many are still very childlike and often impulsive. They do things without thinking of the repercussions or consequences. To put a child like this in the juvenile justice system is gross overkill.
No one is saying that a girl just has to get over it and I would never tell my teenage daughter or any other girl that. BUT, another issue at play is the idea that girls are delicate flowers who cannot defend themselves verbally or physically and that an unwanted touch is so heinous that they must run to authorities to punish the big awful boy. I do want my daughter to be able to not only defend herself but also be able to shake off physical and verbal slights. Again, I am NOT talking about a rape or a violent assault. But if my daughter received an unwanted kiss and slugged the boy, she sure would not be punished by me. And if she reported it to authorities and the boy apologized and was reprimanded, I'd urge her to get past it.
Didn't mean to run on like this, but I hate the fact that because I don't support having this 13-year-old boy suspended from school, or worse, charged with a crime, that I'm somehow condoning violence toward women. Nothing could be further from the truth.
I know and have taught many children. They know it's wrong, unless they are brought up in an environment where sexual assault is normal. Maybe in his home life it is normal. This kid needs some punishment, but he really needs some help too.
The reason this is so striking is because it is rare. There aren't hoardes of teens running around forcing open mouth kisses on other people. It's odd, because they know it is wrong.
Kids are suspended for much less than forcing an open mouth kiss on someone. Throwing a desk and not injuring anyone, suspension. Cursing up a storm and making sexual motions etc... Will probably get suspension.
Detention is for not doing your work or for goofing off.
Last edited by Meyerland; 09-21-2015 at 03:34 PM..
If giving an unwanted kiss was the only 'crime' the world would be a better place.
The thought that this could gets any kind of punishment is beyond me...
He took a dare - he kissed the girl - oh my! Now her lips have been touched!
If she's 14 and never been kissed, she's got a lot bigger issues....
If giving an unwanted kiss was the only 'crime' the world would be a better place.
The thought that this could gets any kind of punishment is beyond me...
He took a dare - he kissed the girl - oh my! Now her lips have been touched!
If she's 14 and never been kissed, she's got a lot bigger issues....
So, you are fine if anyone (male or female)comes up to you and open mouth kisses you without consent? You are fine with that happening to your spouse or parent? What about caregivers for your elderly relatives? That homeless guy on the corner? It's just a kiss, right?
So you were violent and had to deal with the consequences of it so you don't want other boys to have to deal with the same consequences? I'm sorry, I know a lot of annoying, crappy, cowardly people. But I also know that you don't put your hands on them.
You realize he was talking about the point that the records aren't sealed.
Once sure way to prevent an open mouth kiss? DON'T HAVE YOUR MOUTH OPEN - or don't keep it open when you're getting kissed - oh, unless you LIKE it then by all means, French away....
So, you are fine if anyone (male or female)comes up to you and open mouth kisses you without consent? You are fine with that happening to your spouse or parent? What about caregivers for your elderly relatives? That homeless guy on the corner? It's just a kiss, right?
IT WAS A HIGH SCHOOL PRANK - my gosh...
Once sure way to prevent an open mouth kiss? DON'T HAVE YOUR MOUTH OPEN - or don't keep it open when you're getting kissed - oh, unless you LIKE it then by all means, French away....
Once sure way to prevent an open mouth kiss? DON'T HAVE YOUR MOUTH OPEN - or don't keep it open when you're getting kissed - oh, unless you LIKE it then by all means, French away....
So, you are fine if anyone comes up and forces a kiss on you? Seriously doubt that.
You would shrug it off and just close your lips. Right.
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