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Once sure way to prevent an open mouth kiss? DON'T HAVE YOUR MOUTH OPEN - or don't keep it open when you're getting kissed - oh, unless you LIKE it then by all means, French away....
I'm just curious whether misogynistic posts like this have changed anyone's mind about the need for strong and decisive action on this?
He's charged because it was unwanted. She was not "getting kissed", she was sexually assaulted (see very clear legal definition above) - to call it a "kiss" sets a tone of consent.
I've already stated that I have shifted far more strongly in support of juvenile criminal charges for this assault because it is clear many people who might be parents are completely out of touch with the law.
Once sure way to prevent an open mouth kiss? DON'T HAVE YOUR MOUTH OPEN - or don't keep it open when you're getting kissed - oh, unless you LIKE it then by all means, French away....
A middle school "prank" that involved the assault of another student.
And saying "don't have your mouth" open is obnoxious. She was caught completely off guard and he forcibly stuck his tongue in her mouth.
Once sure way to prevent an open mouth kiss? DON'T HAVE YOUR MOUTH OPEN - or don't keep it open when you're getting kissed - oh, unless you LIKE it then by all means, French away....
So if some random guy on the subway frenched you, you'd be cool with it?
I thought it was silly as well until I realized it's all part of a bigger problem where people actually think it's ok to physically violate people and they should 'just get over it,' especially in the case of men touching women when it's not wanted.
This girl is not going to be scarred for life. But not making a big deal of it or telling her to get over it just keeps perpetuating this attitude that women are here for men to do whatever they want with. It's a very subtle and insidious power play that I think goes over people's heads.
Except most people have not reacted this way. Again, disagreeing with criminal charges does not constitute support of the child's actions.
There's a difference between thinking something is not ok and bringing down the force of punishment on a young teenage boy for a violation of societal rules.
It's NOT okay to kiss or touch someone who doesn't want to be touched. But what this boy did is not the same thing as rape and it's not the same thing as a violent physical assault and it shouldn't be punished in the same way as either of those things. At school, work and in the legal system there are grades of punishment based on the notion that the punishment should fit the crime. There also exists the notion that people should get a warning that their behavior is unacceptable. That's why in the workplace a person who violates a rule will generally first get a verbal reprimand, then a written reprimand if she repeats the behavior, followed by a suspension before being terminated.
This boy should be punished, but a reprimand and detention would be sufficient, IMO. Lots of people are saying that a 13-year-old boy should know better, but I'm wondering how many 13-year-old boys they know. Many are still very childlike and often impulsive. They do things without thinking of the repercussions or consequences. To put a child like this in the juvenile justice system is gross overkill.
No one is saying that a girl just has to get over it and I would never tell my teenage daughter or any other girl that. BUT, another issue at play is the idea that girls are delicate flowers who cannot defend themselves verbally or physically and that an unwanted touch is so heinous that they must run to authorities to punish the big awful boy. I do want my daughter to be able to not only defend herself but also be able to shake off physical and verbal slights. Again, I am NOT talking about a rape or a violent assault. But if my daughter received an unwanted kiss and slugged the boy, she sure would not be punished by me. And if she reported it to authorities and the boy apologized and was reprimanded, I'd urge her to get past it.
Didn't mean to run on like this, but I hate the fact that because I don't support having this 13-year-old boy suspended from school, or worse, charged with a crime, that I'm somehow condoning violence toward women. Nothing could be further from the truth.
Given that I was a 13 year old boy at one time and have a son who was 13 not all that long ago along with the idiot friends that go along with that age I think this would be a perfect time to teach this kid and probably his entire grade that actions can have consequences and following the "little head" instead of the using the" big one" on your shoulders can get you into serious trouble as life goes on.
And that lesson CAN AND SHOULD be learned outside a court of law.
What if it was a boy forcing a kiss and grabbing aggressively another boy? Would you consider that assault?
What if an adult male in your office grabbed a woman and forced her into an aggressive open mouth kiss? Is that assault?
While I don't think he should have gotten such a severe punishment, what he did is a crime. People can not and do not go around forcibly kissing others. It has not ever been tolerated.
I give more leniency to a child because his brain, morals, ideas, etc are still forming. By adulthood you should know enough not to do this **** (barring mental illness).
Suspension, and alternative placement, or expulsion would be more appropriate IMO.
I could agree with suspension. Certainly not removing the child from the school. Absolutely not.
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