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Now? Some of us have been saying similar all along, with some thought to getting the facts as well, which a certain faction on this thread does not believe in doing. Here is my first post, on Dec. 26.
Well, we were in the minority on December 26 weren't we?
Protect your son. Adults should not be giving children presents where there is not also a relationship with the parents. Adults should not be picking one child to eat lunch with. Not appropriate. That is my first thought. But...
Have you met the janitor? If not, do so. Make a point to do so asap. Get a feel for him and then go with your gut. If you are uncomfortable with him on any level let the teacher know that you prefer for your son not to be lunch buddies with him unless it is a group setting with the teacher and several other kids right there. If you are feeling bad about saying this, you can couch it in terms of wanting your son to share the experience of befriending an adult and you want your son, though Mr. Popular, to still work on PEER relationships.
If you REALLY get a red flag, make it clear that you do not want him around your son without a teacher present, period.
Hopefully, you will meet him and find a kind man with good intentions. Even still, I would be sure to let the man know that you know of the time they are together.
I think your paranoid reaction is fine. I'm not a parent, but I am a teacher... so I do have insight on the situation. But my thought is a concerned parent is much better than an unconcerned one.
Quote:
Originally Posted by nana053
I don't think she needs to report it. She should keep an eye on the situation, but really if the school is a good one, all the adults in the school should be friendly to all the kids.
We don't really know if the guy is singling her son out in reality. The kid may be friendly and the janitor may be too. The school secretaries in our school are also friendly with the kids and so are the lunch ladies. It makes the kids feel good when the adults in the school know their names and take the time to talk to them.
I agree. In most elementary schools, children only eat lunch with their grade level and another. So your son isn't seeing how the janitor interacts with the majority of the students. Also, at 7-8 years old, the world is all about them.
Quote:
Originally Posted by man of mucus
Ask your son what they talked about
Great first (and potentially, only) step.
Quote:
Originally Posted by alphamale
There is no such thing as overreacting when it comes to protecting your child.
Any adult that befriends a child is not normal.
Watch him very carefully.
I have two qualms with what you said.
First, there IS such a thing as overreacting to protect your child. The father meeting his daughter's first boyfriend comes to mind... Over protecting your child limits his/her growth in individuality. For certain matters, yes... it's better to be safe than sorry but that's not most cases.
Second, an adult that only befriends children isn't normal. However, there's nothing wrong with adults befriending children. Mentor (or buddy) programs are becoming more and more common in elementary schools. The systems are typically set up for students that don't have much adult influence at home or for students that have behavior issues at school. The former provides the youngster with some positive adult guidance. The latter gives the student someone to share his/her grief at school. There are a lot of programs I don't agree with at schools... but I do endorse this one.
First, there IS such a thing as overreacting to protect your child. The father meeting his daughter's first boyfriend comes to mind... Over protecting your child limits his/her growth in individuality. For certain matters, yes... it's better to be safe than sorry but that's not most cases.
Second, an adult that only befriends children isn't normal. However, there's nothing wrong with adults befriending children. Mentor (or buddy) programs are becoming more and more common in elementary schools.The systems are typically set up for students that don't have much adult influence at home or for students that have behavior issues at school. The former provides the youngster with some positive adult guidance. The latter gives the student someone to share his/her grief at school. There are a lot of programs I don't agree with at schools... but I do endorse this one.
An adult mentoring a child should only happen with the permission of the parents. And even under the guise of being a "mentor" there are some people that would have ulterior motives.
Children who are the most in need of true mentors are often also the most vulnerable to becoming victims of "mentors" with less than honorable intentions.
Last edited by calipoppy; 01-02-2011 at 11:02 AM..
So we should eliminate mentoring programs? I don't get your point.
Parents should always exercise caution and not assume that just because someone is a "mentor", teacher, coach, police officer, judge, priest, etc....the person should automatically be allowed to have unlimited and/or inappropriate access to their child.
I don't see providing information that may help a parent to protect their child from becoming a statistic, as being a problem or pointless?
We can list horror stories from the news until the cows come home, but the truth is that the majority of child molestation cases are committed by a relative or family member. They just don't make it into the news as often (or sometimes even get reported at all) because of shame. A child predator could come in any form and the ones statistically most likely to commit the act are the last ones suspected.
Parents should always exercise caution and not assume that just because someone is a "mentor", teacher, coach, police officer, judge, priest, etc....the person should automatically be allowed to have unlimited and/or inappropriate access to their child.
I don't see providing information that may help a parent to protect their child from becoming a statistic, as being a problem or pointless?
I didn't say your post was pointless; I didn't get the point. I agree with the below about the horror stories.
Quote:
Originally Posted by h886
We can list horror stories from the news until the cows come home, but the truth is that the majority of child molestation cases are committed by a relative or family member. They just don't make it into the news as often (or sometimes even get reported at all) because of shame. A child predator could come in any form and the ones statistically most likely to commit the act are the last ones suspected.
You sound like a good mom. Just keep your eyes and ears open and make sure your son is comfortable coming to you or your husband about any and everything. Most likely, it is all very innocent. That said, just keep on your toes.
An adult mentoring a child should only happen with the permission of the parents. And even under the guise of being a "mentor" there are some people that would have ulterior motives.
Children who are the most in need of true mentors are often also the most vulnerable to becoming victims of "mentors" with less than honorable intentions.
Good point. Something important for parents to be aware of.
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