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Try some humor dude. You always seem to come on here dragging a podium to stand on ranting and raving about something man. I hear humor works wonders with the ladies. What good is being good looking if you don't know how to mellow out once in a while?
It does work. But if you don't look good how will you get the opportunity to tell a joke? Women don't give ugly men the time of day. I have been on both sides of the fence.
This thread's main theme isn't why most women would not date a man who is less attractive. Its main theme is society's denial that lookism plays a major not small part in determining a person's treatment and in some cases life experiences.
If 1 person is really attractive but has the personality or intelligence of a paper bag, and 1 person is below average looking (classed as ugly) but is confident, has high self esteem, is charismatic, driven, ambitious and has an awesome personality guess which one will have more relationship success? I'll give you a hint - its not the first one.
Where the heck did I say in my post that a really attractive person who is dumb and boring will outclass an intelligent and outgoing ugly person?
Go back and reread my OP and then make a response.
It does work. But if you don't look good how will you get the opportunity to tell a joke? Women don't give ugly men the time of day. I have been on both sides of the fence.
This thread's main theme isn't why most women would not date a man who is less attractive. Its main theme is society's denial that lookism plays a major not small part in determining a person's treatment and in some cases life experiences.
Why do you think society is in denial about that? If society was in denial about that - we wouldn't have people getting plastic surgery, all these weight loss shows, eating disorders, etc.
There's an enormous difference between what God gave you and what you do with it. To me, you don't have to be gifted with the genetic lottery of amazing physique or stunning facial structure. However, if you can't respect yourself enough to take care of yourself in a host of ways big and small, then how do you really expect others to respect you? I'm not talking about buying the latest and greatest fashion. I'm not talking working out three hours a day. But on the other hand, being morbidly obese, not paying attention to basic grooming and hygiene, and dressing as if you haven't bought a new article of clothing in five years tells the world what to think about you.
What people forget is that, even before you have the first word of conversation with someone, you are already communicating a great deal about yourself.
And it's not even confined to the romantic relationships. Do yourself a favor the next time you go to a nice restaurant or nightclub. Watch the women when a new person walks into the place. They perform the up-and-down scan of the new person in about two-tenths of a second, instantly categorizing that person and determining what to think about her.
People will deny your claim.
But, not much can be done about it. If someone is unattractive, typically a major major change in their appearance will change their beauty.
If someones grill is flat out unattractive, they will have to be better than most people in personality, temperment, smarts, and social skills.
Also, if mommy and daddy tell the ugly ducking their whole life how beautiful they are, and they never blossom into a swan, they may never actually know how unattractive they are.
It's a catch 22.
Unattractive person, "I'm a good person, with social skills and smarts and personality. Why can't I get a date?"
Attractive person, "work on your game brah"
Meanwhile, attractive person stands there while women chase him. And yet, attractive person denies or is clueless that not everyone gets pursued like them. Especially if it is a guy. Hot guys typically seem totally clueless as to how the game actually works. And they will argue this till their grave. "I have game brah! Step up!"
An attractive guy needs probably triple the game as an attractive guy to attract women.
In a fairy tale, nice world, an unattractive guy would approach a woman, and she would reject him nicely and without embarrassing him.
But, due to some guys and their over-persistence combined with the social anxiety that many people have but hide, they sometimes reject guys very rudely to get the point across.
So if you are unattractive, it's a catch 22. If you do nothing, chances are, you wont date. If you approach often, expect a lot of rejection, sprinkled with the occasional rude comment/rejection.
At the end of the day, society sells beauty. Men and women all want attractive partners. Nothing new there.
And simply, if you aren't considered attractive, don't be co-dependant, cause you will never be satisfied that way.
I sometimes wonder if people fail to realize how rude they can be. I'm sure I've been there without realizing it. We probably all have.
Your post is refreshing to read.
I have actually been in that situation in the past.
Several of my friends are much more attractive then me.
They have women chasing them left and right and for some twisted reason they think its "game."
How is it game if girl who doesn't even talk to you glances at you and immediately chases after you?
She texts, she pursues.
Constantly my friends would tell me, you need game, you need game.
No what I needed was a trip to the dentist, dermatologist, the gym and macy's men department.
Every once in a while I let my looks slip and its almost like living two lives.
If I let my acne get out of control, or wear less appealing clothes Im getting snug looks, money being handed back to me via thrown on the counter top and slid to me to insure that the female cashier doesn't touch my hand.
When I'm looking good I have women staring at me like I'm a piece of meat. The difference is extreme. Sometimes I get free stuff, cuts in lines, people smiling at me for no reason, I get brushed on a lot by a lot of women and at least once a day 1 of them find an excuse to grab my arms or touch it.
Like I said I have been on both sides of the fence. I know all the details. Like you said unattractive men require 3x heck more like 10x more game then attractive men. It's funny that people classify attractive people with less intelligence and personality when in reality most attractive people have more confidence then less attractive people. Attractive people usually have more outgoing personalities then less attractive people because they get more leniency when it comes to social interaction. Less attractive people typically have introvert personalities due to having lower confidence which were caused by being prejudged for their appearance in past life experiences.
Some people on this thread accept the truth but there are others who are still blind.
I geuss my gripe is that social skills are slightly overrated while the importance of upkeeping appearance is underrated. People have it in their minds that looks are 20% Personality is 40% and Intelligence is another 40%. In reality Looks is 50% Personality is 30% and Intelligence is 20%.
Even though my friends had the best intentions I don't appreciated being lied to (indirectly) just as society is lieing to less attractive people.
Instead of feeding this false information that people don't prioritize good looks we should say that less attractive people should put more emphasis on upkeeping their appearance then less attractive people.
If I were told that from the beginning instead of finding it out the hardway it would have saved me from a lot of pain. It would have saved me from the rude stares, rude comments, and passive aggression by people. I think less attractive people should be given that information to save them from a lot of pain.
There's an enormous difference between what God gave you and what you do with it. To me, you don't have to be gifted with the genetic lottery of amazing physique or stunning facial structure. However, if you can't respect yourself enough to take care of yourself in a host of ways big and small, then how do you really expect others to respect you? I'm not talking about buying the latest and greatest fashion. I'm not talking working out three hours a day. But on the other hand, being morbidly obese, not paying attention to basic grooming and hygiene, and dressing as if you haven't bought a new article of clothing in five years tells the world what to think about you.
What people forget is that, even before you have the first word of conversation with someone, you are already communicating a great deal about yourself.
And it's not even confined to the romantic relationships. Do yourself a favor the next time you go to a nice restaurant or nightclub. Watch the women when a new person walks into the place. They perform the up-and-down scan of the new person in about two-tenths of a second, instantly categorizing that person and determining what to think about her.
I can understand your perspective, there's much truth to it.
I wonder about guys who complain they are too unattractive and can't get dates. What kind of women do they go after? I see lots of sloppy overweight unattractive people in relationships. But often they are in relationships with other sloppy overweight unattractive people. It's all about being reasonable in your expectations and going after/dating people that are on the same level with you. If you're an overweight coach potato who spends his leisure time eating Cheetos and watching TV, then that's the kind of woman you should go after. I also find it interesting that VERY rarely does a woman ever start a thread here complaining she's ugly and can't get any guys. The ladies here seem in general to be MUCH less focused on looks than guys? Hmm.
There IS someone for everyone, but you have to be reasonable. Make the most of what you have. Not everyone can look like a model, but most people don't sit around being bitter about it.
Why do you think society is in denial about that? If society was in denial about that - we wouldn't have people getting plastic surgery, all these weight loss shows, eating disorders, etc.
True but I talk to everyday people especially women they all say the same thing. "I choose a guy based of personality, intelligence and how he treats me. etc. etc." That's clearly a lie. Guys act as if they don't do it either.
Everyday people are hypocrites. They all say they judge someone on the inside and now whats on the outside but turn around and only have or pursue friendships or pursue romantic interest with more attractive people.
Cosmectic surgey and those weight loss shows are a farce. They are out only for profit. The only way to make yourself look more attractive is through hard work and meticulous upkeep.
I have actually been in that situation in the past.
Several of my friends are much more attractive then me.
They have women chasing them left and right and for some twisted reason they think its "game."
How is it game if girl who doesn't even talk to you glances at you and immediately chases after you?
She texts, she pursues.
Constantly my friends would tell me, you need game, you need game.
No what I needed was a trip to the dentist, dermatologist, the gym and macy's men department.
Every once in a while I let my looks slip and its almost like living two lives.
If I let my acne get out of control, or wear less appealing clothes Im getting snug looks, money being handed back to me via thrown on the counter top and slid to me to insure that the female cashier doesn't touch my hand.
When I'm looking good I have women staring at me like I'm a piece of meat. The difference is extreme. Sometimes I get free stuff, cuts in lines, people smiling at me for no reason, I get brushed on a lot by a lot of women and at least once a day 1 of them find an excuse to grab my arms or touch it.
Like I said I have been on both sides of the fence. I know all the details. Like you said unattractive men require 3x heck more like 10x more game then attractive men. It's funny that people classify attractive people with less intelligence and personality when in reality most attractive people have more confidence then less attractive people. Attractive people usually have more outgoing personalities then less attractive people because they get more leniency when it comes to social interaction. Less attractive people typically have introvert personalities due to having lower confidence which were caused by being prejudged for their appearance in past life experiences.
Some people on this thread accept the truth but there are others who are still blind.
I geuss my gripe is that social skills are slightly overrated while the importance of upkeeping appearance is underrated. People have it in their minds that looks are 20% Personality is 40% and Intelligence is another 40%. In reality Looks is 50% Personality is 30% and Intelligence is 20%.
Even though my friends had the best intentions I don't appreciated being lied to (indirectly) just as society is lieing to less attractive people.
Instead of feeding this false information that people don't prioritize good looks we should say that less attractive people should put more emphasis on upkeeping their appearance then less attractive people.
If I were told that from the beginning instead of finding it out the hardway it would have saved me from a lot of pain. It would have saved me from the rude stares, rude comments, and passive aggression by people. I think less attractive people should be given that information to save them from a lot of pain.
How is this handled though?
Do mom and dad say, "Look son, we love you. But the reality is, you uuuuuuugly. "
haha.
Of course not.
For the most part, most parents already say, "Look your best" So on and so forth. So they try to instill that mindset in us.
The thing is, when we get older, we see guys use no effort, don't shave for 3-4 days, wear flannels and old t-shirts, and women approach them.
Cant change it. That guy rocking the flannel while he doesnt care about his hair or gut happens to be hot.
He thinks he has game. Really, all he has is what society defines as a good facial structure.
It takes some guys a while to figure this out. Some never do figure it out.
And the smart ones figure it out and make themself attractive by means other than their face/body. If more guys worked on being attractive through means other than their face/body, they would probably be better off. Be funny, be charming, be smooth, be rich, be something. Just don't rely on DNA, cause most guys dont have that luxery. Be smarter than the next not-so-attractive guy, and figure out whatyou can do to make you attractive and successful.
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