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Hmm..Seems as if most of us are in agreement that girls (I am assuming we are talking about under 18s here) shouldn't. Yet we seem to be in the minority. Go to just about any middle/high school and you'll see LOTS of girls (and guys) wearing very inappropriate things. Seems far to many parents let their kids wear whatever. Unfortunately, considering even in 2 parent households the mother is usually the one that buys the clothes and has the most say in clothing mothers are primarily responsible. It baffles me why they allow their kids to dress like that.
I can't believe that no one on this thread did or experienced the presto change once the parent were out if view. Into short skirts or whatever was in at the time. Or hiked their skirt up. Or in my day, people would roll their waistbands to make them low-rise.
Teens are going to try to "express their sexuality" well before 18. It's a parents job to educate them and teach them how to make the right decisions before the thought crosses their mind. But it absolutely will.
Heck my sister had a pair of lace crotchless panties at 16-17. Saw them hanging out on the clothesline with the rest of the laundry. Asked my Mom the basic "Who do those belong to/you let her wear THOSE?!?!?" and the reply was "Shes got a job she can buy whatever she wants with her money". I just shrugged and said okay. I guess thats why i dont mind if a girl has some "sexy" stuff. It didnt phase me then it wont phase me now.
It's not so much the age that's important, more so that she understands the reasoning for wearing something like that, or the assumptions that other people might make about someone wearing something like that, and whether or not she's willing to deal with that.
I think you guys are in the dark about what stage kids are at once they hit high school. Seriously, no "sexy" undergarments until at least 18? This isn't the 1800's. I'm a guy, but at 12-13 (even younger actually but 12-13 for sure) we were all hooking up or at least wanted to, wanted to impress/attract members of the opposite sex, etc. It was on by that point.
You being oppressive parents isn't going to change that, it's just going to make your kid resent you. And they will get the sexy stuff anyway, so your not even preventing anything. Plus, they are more likely to respond by going to those extreme's as soon as they can, just because you made a big deal about the smallest stuff and so severely limited them. Classic example is the kid whose parents were severely anti-gun, oppressively so, and surprise surprise, the kid joins the army and is super into guns.
I would say by 14-15 I wouldn't really care if I was a parent...within reason of course. Girls are well on their way to being women by that age, and if you haven't done a good job raising her up till that point then micro-managing things like style of undergarments is going to be pointless anyway.
It seems that some of you read too much into clothing choices.
I have a brother who had 3 girls. 2 were within a couple of years in age.
When the older girls were in their mid teens each one had a different "style".
Amy wore short shorts, short dresses, short skirts. She also wore heels, make up,
low cut blouses, ear rings. She was a pretty young lady and quite sensible but
she liked to turn heads.
Regina, the older one, dressed like a kid from the late 60's. Jeans, sneakers, button down shirts, she loved army surplus clothes. Baggy field pants, shirts with thick material.
No make up ever and rarely any jewelry.
On a Saturday night going out with friends or on dates they were polar opposites when it came to wardrobe.
At 19 Regina had two sons, was treated twice for STD's drank like a fish, and was always flirting with boys (that started at about age 14).
At 22 Amy was in college working on her MBA, rarely drank, dated very few boys as she was very particular in her choices of guys, had a job in an insurance office. Still dressed "provocatively" but stylish. Amy got her degree and has more letters after her name in the insurance biz than I know the meaning of. CLCS, CPCU,CRIS and others. For work Amy dresses like a professional business woman. Well tailored pantsuits, designer dresses, heels, make up, jewelry, gets her hair done weekly, has a personal trainer and to this day wears short dresses and heels most of the time.
She has been married for 5 years.
Regina finished high school, went to community college for a couple of years and works in computer repair as a member of "the geek squad". Regina is still in jeans, sneakers, loose fitting shirts, has no use for cosmetics and wears very little or no jewelry. Regina finished high school, went to community college for a couple of years and works in computer repair as a member of "the geek squad".
I can assure you what a young lady is wearing under her clothes is not going to cause any change or difficulty in their lives. Lighten up. Let your young adults be young adults and let them express themselves how they want.
When she's 18 and/or not living under my roof. Before 18, she's a child, and no child should ever be viewed as "sexy," or be permitted to display herself as such. It's disturbing how our society seems to be pushing for the sexualization of children.
Ultimately, I hope my daughter has more self-respect than to dress revealingly. I hope I can successfully teach her the value of not allowing herself to be objectified.
Sorry, but 15-17 year olds are more adult than child. Considering how many people people lose their virginity before they are 18 and at the very least have already hooked up to some degree (and those that haven't by then most certainly desire to), I'd say you are the one who is off base.
Society isn't pushing for the sexualization of *young adults, they do that all on their own. Because they are going through/are finished with puberty and are looking to mingle with the opposite sex. You can't suppress hormones, and your child will not like or respect you for trying.
Girls want to wear whatever their friends are wearing. If all their friends have VS underwear, that's what they will want. It's been awhile since I was a teen, but when I was, we wanted more sporty, cute underwear than overtly sexy stuff. The poor girl stuck in "granny" panties had to deal with a good bit of ribbing over it.
If a girl wants thongs it probably has more to do with not wanting panty lines than trying to be sexy. No female wants panty lines, they are embarrassing. I see nothing wrong with a teenager choosing her own underwear, as long as the parent has ultimate veto power. It's a good chance to talk about why she is choosing what she choses. Most of the time she just wants something that looks cute, feels good, and looks similar to what her friends wear.
Sorry, but 15-17 year olds are more adult than child. Considering how many people people lose their virginity before they are 18 and at the very least have already hooked up to some degree (and those that haven't by then most certainly desire to), I'd say you are the one who is off base.
Society isn't pushing for the sexualization of *young adults, they do that all on their own. Because they are going through/are finished with puberty and are looking to mingle with the opposite sex. You can't suppress hormones, and your child will not like or respect you for trying.
This is very true, in my group of friends, the one girl who waited until 18 (swore she would wait until marriage), lost it on prom night.
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