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I must say there's much truth to this statement because I've lived it and seen it. Actually, I've experienced both situations. I've been offered relationships when I have been careless and I haven't been offered a relationship when I care to have one. Please explain this for me. I think these scenarios occur due to a variety of social and personal factors. Some of these factors for me are the following. One thing that is clear to me is that when I've been more outgoing, I have had more opportunities to meet women.
However, I've had no relationship success in Los Angeles, whereas in San Francisco I was successful to the extent that I was willing to shell out the big bucks, and in New York I've always been successful regardless of what dollar amount I spend. New York is a large city that offers endless dating opportunity. I am an opportunistic guy and I expect to seize all of the opportunities that I get regardless of when and where the opportunity presents itself.
Basically, Los Angeles and New York have fundamentally different cultures and people and these are two very distinct cities. Based on that fact, I cannot ask Los Angeles to offer me the opportunities that New York offers and vice versa. I already know that I have to live in a very busy environment with endless opportunities within walking distance from anywhere. Los Angeles is not that place nor is it set up that way. In contrast, Manhattan is very much so that place. There are so many other factors that point to why I have yet to meet a human being I can interact with on the same level in Los Angeles.
Maybe someone can help me with this issue. For now I'm not living in my traditional neighborhood in Manhattan. I am in L.A. So, basically I need advice from my fellow native New Yorkers on what I need to do here in L.A. to give myself a chance of creating a social environment. I don't have any friends here in L.A. and it's very stressful not to know anybody or to be able to talk to anybody here.
Some people claim New York is a very stressful place, but surprisingly I feel very comfortable and at peace with myself and the world when I am surrounded by all the people in Manhattan and interact with all the people from every neighborhood and borough.
Conversely, I am always stressed out in Los Angeles. I hate to drive and somehow I'm forced to drive because every time I walk there is no where to walk to. I will walk for miles in every direction and I can't find any action, people or anything to do. Yet, I live in the most desirable part of L.A. on the Westside. Then, after I give up on walking I drive the car through every decent neighborhood and hangout spot in L.A. and I still can find nothing to do.
What can I possible do to remedy this situation? I am not looking for a miracle answer or solution. But, obviously this thread is about relationships and as a New Yorker I find it next to impossible to develop a relationship let alone meet people in Los Angeles. Please help me!
Sorry I can't offer any good guidance except - come back to NYC. You've brought up another important desirable facet of life in NY - walkability of many places. When you live in a walkable environment, not only are you saving on car ownwership costs and helping the environment but somehow a lot of dating opportunities open up for you.
I've experienced meeting people on the UWS of Manhattn by just taking a stroll somewhere - and believe me, I'm no good looker. Two months ago I walked into a neighborhood coffee shop, sat down, overheard a conversation between a young woman about to enter NYU as a freshman and a senior citizen she just met while they were both having coffee. As we both exited the coffee shop later, I commended her for taking time to talk to the gentleman who appeared to be lonely, repetitive, and loud. A few weeks later I ran into her giving out Obama pamphlets downtown on Water Street near to my job. We both remembered each other, exchanged names, and the potential to pursue further if desired arose right there and then.
There are countless little anecdotes like this all over the five boroughs - people meet at bookstores, restaurants, just strolling in the park, going for the papers.
I really beileve that when you drive, you are not only burning money, but missing lots of opportunities to interact with fellow walkers - and it applies to meeting people not just for potential dating relationships, but it could even be for a beautiful platonic friendship also.
well said Miles. Although I'm having trouble meeting people here. I left for a couple years overseas for college and then got a job upstate(bleh!). I lost contact with a lot of people and the others seemed to have formed new interests or be too busy to go out.
What I've started to do is join different groups on meetup.com. I think it should be a good way to meet new friends into the same things as me.
I greatly appreciate the help Miles and iztel. Miles you really hit the hammer on the nail by saying what you said about NY. All of it is true! But, as much as I'd like to leave L.A. right away and come back home to NY, I can't because I'm tied up with this job right now. iztel, I'll check this meetup.com website out despite my preference to meet people in a natural social setting at a cafe or on the street or wherever. I'm not skeptical about internet meetup sites at all, but my clear preference is to meet people in a traditional social setting.
Sorry I can't offer any good guidance except - come back to NYC. You've brought up another important desirable facet of life in NY - walkability of many places. When you live in a walkable environment, not only are you saving on car ownwership costs and helping the environment but somehow a lot of dating opportunities open up for you.
I've experienced meeting people on the UWS of Manhattn by just taking a stroll somewhere - and believe me, I'm no good looker. Two months ago I walked into a neighborhood coffee shop, sat down, overheard a conversation between a young woman about to enter NYU as a freshman and a senior citizen she just met while they were both having coffee. As we both exited the coffee shop later, I commended her for taking time to talk to the gentleman who appeared to be lonely, repetitive, and loud. A few weeks later I ran into her giving out Obama pamphlets downtown on Water Street near to my job. We both remembered each other, exchanged names, and the potential to pursue further if desired arose right there and then.
There are countless little anecdotes like this all over the five boroughs - people meet at bookstores, restaurants, just strolling in the park, going for the papers.
I really beileve that when you drive, you are not only burning money, but missing lots of opportunities to interact with fellow walkers - and it applies to meeting people not just for potential dating relationships, but it could even be for a beautiful platonic friendship also.
Apparently, the paradise is not necessarily in heaven only. NYC sounds like the right place for me.
As a scientist working long hours in the lab and an artist enjoying quite time on my own, I did spent the rest of my time driving alone!
Now, I know that's why!!!!!! Even though, it is quite a bit of too late now...
All right, let me imagine myself just walking out of work or home and on the street or anywhere. my Mr. right is waiting for me there....Well, it sounds like a paradise for me...
jingle, you are smart - here's how you do it (the thread, I mean): go to the New York City Forum and at the top left above the existing threads is a little box that says "New Thread." Hit that, type in a title that you want to give your thread then go to the message box below the title and type your message.
Now it makes sense!
It seems like in order to start a new thread, one has to "belong" to some forum first.
I want to start asking people share their favorite music, songs or poem with me.
I get to find the right "forum" to start with.
By the way, I am quick too even though I am not available
Personally I'm open to the idea but not committed to it nor expecting it. If I meet someone and it works out to be that way, so be it, but I don't actively look for someone with the intention of getting married.
I have yet to meet a girl, or woman for that matter, that didn't want a relationship.
IMO the majority of women settle just to be with someone, whether it's the right guy or not.
BTW I'm a woman, I just refuse to be unhappy just to say I'm with someone.
I agree with you on that! Why should anybody be with someone if they are not happy. I know quite a few people who just jumped into it even though they were not happy.
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The paradise....
