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We moved here about two years ago and quickly realized that a little boy the same age as our son lived a few doors down. We introduced ourselves, and the boys played together once or twice. The mom, Dawn, was gushy and a little saccharine but nice enough. I liked that my son had a friend his age and that they would go to school together. Dawn said things like, "We just got a firepit and can't wait to have you over for a barbecue!" and "We'll have to get together soon for dinner." Okay. Nothing ever materialized. We invited them over a couple times--they were busy. Their son was too busy for invitations too. So we figured we had done something or we weren't their type (churchy). Also fine. They weren't really our type either, although we were always polite and nice to them. Over the summer, before it felt like they were shunning us, Dawn got really sick with the flu. I left a big, beautiful bouquet of peonies in a vase on her porch with a note. No response. We brought them a tray of cookies over Christmas (had to, because we brought some to our other neighbors, who are nice to us and somehow manage to have playdates and barbecues and dinners together with Dawn and family). No response about the cookies, either, not even a thank you. Most of this happened the first summer we were there. This past summer, she stopped by with her mother to say how much they missed us, and how much her son wanted to play with ours, and she would call me next week to set something up. Okay! No call. My call went unanswered. This woman just confuses the heck out of me. When we see them, they are pleasant enough but it's just so fake!
So we figured we wouldn't have anything to do with them. No big deal. But at the beginning of the school year, my husband wanted to get our son involved in cub scouts. Guess who appointed herself den leader? Of course. Whatever. We were at the den meeting a few days ago, and she complained that she had volunteered to help with the Halloween party at school today and realized she didn't have anyone to watch her younger son, who is three. I said I'd be home today and could watch him. She said, "Are you sure? Oh thank you so much! You're a lifesaver!" That was Monday. Last night my husband asked if Dawn had called or anything. She hadn't, and I had forgotten. So I called her this morning. "Oh, nevermind! Bonnie's going to watch him instead!" Welllll .... thanks for letting me know, Dawn.
I can't figure out if she is crazy or just thoughtless. Maybe I'm the crazy one for trying to figure out what's wrong with her and trying to be a friendly neighbor. I don't want to be a B to her (well, yes I do), because we like our other neighbors and we have to live with all these people for many years. I just don't know if there's any point to asking her if we've done something to tick her off, or why she is such a flake. I would much rather that she just leave us alone instead of doing this two-faced routine.
We moved here about two years ago and quickly realized that a little boy the same age as our son lived a few doors down. We introduced ourselves, and the boys played together once or twice. The mom, Dawn, was gushy and a little saccharine but nice enough. I liked that my son had a friend his age and that they would go to school together. Dawn said things like, "We just got a firepit and can't wait to have you over for a barbecue!" and "We'll have to get together soon for dinner." Okay. Nothing ever materialized. We invited them over a couple times--they were busy. Their son was too busy for invitations too. So we figured we had done something or we weren't their type (churchy). Also fine. They weren't really our type either, although we were always polite and nice to them. Over the summer, before it felt like they were shunning us, Dawn got really sick with the flu. I left a big, beautiful bouquet of peonies in a vase on her porch with a note. No response. We brought them a tray of cookies over Christmas (had to, because we brought some to our other neighbors, who are nice to us and somehow manage to have playdates and barbecues and dinners together with Dawn and family). No response about the cookies, either, not even a thank you. Most of this happened the first summer we were there. This past summer, she stopped by with her mother to say how much they missed us, and how much her son wanted to play with ours, and she would call me next week to set something up. Okay! No call. My call went unanswered. This woman just confuses the heck out of me. When we see them, they are pleasant enough but it's just so fake!
So we figured we wouldn't have anything to do with them. No big deal. But at the beginning of the school year, my husband wanted to get our son involved in cub scouts. Guess who appointed herself den leader? Of course. Whatever. We were at the den meeting a few days ago, and she complained that she had volunteered to help with the Halloween party at school today and realized she didn't have anyone to watch her younger son, who is three. I said I'd be home today and could watch him. She said, "Are you sure? Oh thank you so much! You're a lifesaver!" That was Monday. Last night my husband asked if Dawn had called or anything. She hadn't, and I had forgotten. So I called her this morning. "Oh, nevermind! Bonnie's going to watch him instead!" Welllll .... thanks for letting me know, Dawn.
I can't figure out if she is crazy or just thoughtless. Maybe I'm the crazy one for trying to figure out what's wrong with her and trying to be a friendly neighbor. I don't want to be a B to her (well, yes I do), because we like our other neighbors and we have to live with all these people for many years. I just don't know if there's any point to asking her if we've done something to tick her off, or why she is such a flake. I would much rather that she just leave us alone instead of doing this two-faced routine.
Do you have a terrible neighbor?
I don't even see why you continue trying. LOL She's a hot mess,nope, I take that back, she's a mess. We just moved to our house, my b/f met both neighbors, I have only met the son of the one, he's an adult and in a wheelchair, had some kind of racing accident that paralyzed him. That's all I really know of them. They wave when we see them but I would never consider just randomly inviting them over LOL
Although... we are having a Halloween party and to be a step ahead, decided to invite them over so that they wouldn't be inclined to call the police if things got loud LOL We shall see.
If I had been in your shoes though? I would have quit trying a long time ago. I can't stand wishy-washy people and inconsistent people.. so that wouldn't have worked well for me. You're very patient, I'll give you that but I think it's time to throw in the towel.
I totally agree with andreaspercheron. It seems like these people don't mind things done for them but do not acknowledge that you've done it. They also seem aloof, that if something better comes along (i.e. Bonnie will watch the kid), they don't bother telling you.
You said they are Churchy. I'm probably going to get flak for this but I have known some (notice I said SOME, not all) put on that churchy show, the ones who will do this, do that, always there but underneath its all a put on.
I would be cordial to them, but don't go out of your way for them.
Quote:
Originally Posted by JustJulia
We brought them a tray of cookies over Christmas
Ahem! I'll be very appreciative of cookies. Got any?
I totally agree with andreaspercheron. It seems like these people don't mind things done for them but do not acknowledge that you've done it. They also seem aloof, that if something better comes along (i.e. Bonnie will watch the kid), they don't bother telling you.
You said they are Churchy. I'm probably going to get flak for this but I have known some (notice I said SOME, not all) put on that churchy show, the ones who will do this, do that, always there but underneath its all a put on.
I would be cordial to them, but don't go out of your way for them.
Ahem! I'll be very appreciative of cookies. Got any?
Sounds like she just doesn't like you, for whatever reason. Really, it doesn't matter. Sometimes personalities simply don't click, no harm no foul against anyone, we don't all have to like each other and/or be friends. Her actions say it all: she feels you should be polite to each other when you cross paths, but does not want to interact with you beyond a wave from the driveway or a quick hello at the supermarket. There's nothing fake about it, she does not want your cookies or your flowers.
For what ever reason i think she already has a click or group she gets on with and you aren't in it. I had something similar happen when i first moved here. I would do all the same kinds of nice things and nothing, but other mothers would do nothing and be over her house all the time, kids would play together. Came to find out that all of them were in a bunch of clubs and went to church together, and i just wasn't part of their social click was all. Just move on and find someone else more worth your time.
Sounds like she just doesn't like you, for whatever reason. Really, it doesn't matter. Sometimes personalities simply don't click, no harm no foul against anyone, we don't all have to like each other and/or be friends. Her actions say it all: she feels you should be polite to each other when you cross paths, but does not want to interact with you beyond a wave from the driveway or a quick hello at the supermarket. There's nothing fake about it, she does not want your cookies or your flowers.
I would be fine with that. As I said, I don't like her either. I don't understand why she extends invitations that she doesn't mean, though. That's what's fake.
I would be fine with that. As I said, I don't like her either. I don't understand why she extends invitations that she doesn't mean, though. That's what's fake.
My aunt does that too julia we are always going to get together and she never does. She even drives right past our house on times....and mentions how she waves at it? I'm thinking...."hello ***** i am home the entire day as is my husband and kids, you could stop by".
I don't even see why you continue trying. LOL She's a hot mess,nope, I take that back, she's a mess. We just moved to our house, my b/f met both neighbors, I have only met the son of the one, he's an adult and in a wheelchair, had some kind of racing accident that paralyzed him. That's all I really know of them. They wave when we see them but I would never consider just randomly inviting them over LOL
Although... we are having a Halloween party and to be a step ahead, decided to invite them over so that they wouldn't be inclined to call the police if things got loud LOL We shall see.
If I had been in your shoes though? I would have quit trying a long time ago. I can't stand wishy-washy people and inconsistent people.. so that wouldn't have worked well for me. You're very patient, I'll give you that but I think it's time to throw in the towel.
What irks me is that I did stop trying. I'd wave if we made eye contact, but mostly I just ignored her. That's when we got the bizarre visit where we met her mom and were told how much they had missed us. I thought, Wow, guess I was wrong about her. Maybe it was just a show for her mom? Looking at all this written down, it sounds like she is messing with me.
No cookies for her this year, that's for damn sure.
I would be fine with that. As I said, I don't like her either. I don't understand why she extends invitations that she doesn't mean, though. That's what's fake.
Correct me if I am wrong, but the way I read your story: she extended an invitation to you soon after you moved to the neighborhood. So it sounds to me as though she decided that she doesn't like you after she got to know you a bit better. Or her kid doesn't like yours, or it's your husband... Maybe there is a rumor going around that you worship the devil. Who knows. Personally I would not expend any mental energy on this.
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We shall see.
