Should the wealthy family members help support poor working class brothers and sisters? (relatives, retired)
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I know what I would do if I were in your position. I'd let them hang themselves. They're adults. Their whole messed up situation is a result of their irresponsible behavior. You are not responsible for their stupid decisions in life. A part of being an adult is being responsible and taking care of business. Both your brother and his wife are suffering from a case of delayed maturity, or whatever. Let them sink. Go on with your life.
Um, If I were you I would help. Let me ask you this, if you were in their position, about to be homeless with no savings or access to credit, wouldn't YOU expect FAMILY to be there? Sure you can rationalize the reasons not to "they're adults" "you earned your money" (like many have said on this board) but when it comes down to it, they're still YOUR family.
I don't know your personal finances but if you have the $ I'd just give it to them point blank or even better, call the power company directly and pay the bill (or make a partial payment and let them work something out from there). Sure, they might have made mistakes, they might continue to make mistakes, and I'm not advocating you support them on a regular basis, but if you really are that well off and can afford to help, it's a no-brainier to me, and kind of greedy and disgusting to just watch them sink.
You can't take your money with you after this life. All you can take is your soul. Please make the right decision.
You are asking the OP this question but I will butt in and answer anyway:
NOPE.
I know that if I were about to be totally homeless AND there was no other option, I could go (with my family) and live with my mother. OP has said that his brother and family CAN go live with the parents if it comes down to it. He and his family are not going to be homeless.
The thing is, the OPs brother got into a bad spot with the electricity but it could have ended there. If I were the brother I'd probably have asked if my kids could stay with my parents for the summer so they don't have to suffer for my mistake, then work out something with the electric company and start busting butt to get it paid off and back on. Second job. Sell possessions. Whatever was needed to get on top of the situation. I would not "expect" help from family until I had done EVERYTHING in my power to solve my own problem. I would want to be able to say "Hey, I have sold everything non-essential, I have been looking for a second job, I have sold my blood/plasma, and I still can't solve this"... it's just not sounding like that's what is happening with the OPs family.
No, brother instead moved into an extended stay place at 2x his rent. THIS IS NOT HELPFUL! How is he ever gonna get the electric caught up if he is doing this? How is he going to pay rent as well? It would have made more sense to suck it up and move in with the parents just long enough to get out of this hole, by putting back that same amount he is spending on an extended stay hotel and working on raising money other ways. He is trying to solve one set of bad choices with still more bad choices. It sucks to live without electricity (especially in hot states!) but it is not impossible, and once you find an alternate housing situation for the children it's just uncomfortable and inconvenient but not the end of the world.
I knew someone who did something very similar but with a water bill. She let it get out of control, couldn't pay to have it turned back on, and to "remedy" the situation she'd take her kids to a hotel a few times a week so they could shower and swim. Using money she could have put towards the bill instead. I've lived without water (briefly); it sucked, but I took water jugs around and refilled them wherever I could for free (asking first) and in some cases used the machine where you fill up with water for a quarter, showered at a friend's house and used public toilets because going to a hotel would have just made me sink further into the financial hole and I'd have never gotten it back on.
Um, If I were you I would help. Let me ask you this, if you were in their position, about to be homeless with no savings or access to credit, wouldn't YOU expect FAMILY to be there? Sure you can rationalize the reasons not to "they're adults" "you earned your money" (like many have said on this board) but when it comes down to it, they're still YOUR familyl
...
You can't take your money with you after this life. All you can take is your soul. Please make the right decision.
Seriously? The OP's brother didn't make "mistakes" and quite frankly, it shows your naivete. No wonder your mother work so hard to support your father, he makes "mistakes"; you shouldn't be so angry with your father.
Don't talk about the importance of family when the OP just specifically said her brother had constructed constructed a toxic network to manipulate a member into giving them what they want. That's not family-like at all and it makes having a "family" pointless and worthless.
As it is, the right thing is being done... the brother is moving in with the father. The fact they can't live together without killing each other isn't the OP's problem. It just goes to show that the brother doesn't appreciate the severity of his situation and lacks the resolve to deal with the situation. Now, OP... let your family eat their own words: tell your father he must let brother move in and deal with it "for the kids".
" it's a no-brainier to me, and kind of greedy and disgusting to just watch them sink.
You can't take your money with you after this life. All you can take is your soul. Please make the right decision."
Sounds like you want her to be her brothers "Sugar Momma"...she should keep digging him out of his money issues, although he has learned nothing from his poor money management debacles in the past. In addition, all the families enabling has not helped him get on the right track, and never will...he has a deep rooted sense of entitlement that has been honed into a lifestyle. He is a master manipulator.
Sure, they might have made mistakes, they might continue to make mistakes, and I'm not advocating you support them on a regular basis, but if you really are that well off and can afford to help, it's a no-brainier to me, and kind of greedy and disgusting to just watch them sink.
Just no. Assuming the OP is being 100% real (because we never really know), I can assure you that the brother response to any type of good will at this point will be "What took you so long" and "How dare you make me hit close to rock bottom before providing aid, jerk".
So, I know. You can let them win, pay off all their debts, and next year they'll be in the same position. You can let them shame you into doing it until YOU are broke. And then your parents will leave all their money to THEM cause they need it m ore. Then you'll be broke, they'll have money, and they won't help you!
You better make sure you are providing for yourself, your future, and your retirement. You need to do something already. Tell them you don't have the money, something happened with lawyers or your spouses family, you were sued, etc. You are broke now.
Or tell them off.
Ugh I sound like a broken record. Obviously my advice on this isn't worth **** and I'm wasting my time.
If they are hard working and doing the right thing, you should help them invest. If they take drugs and are irresponsible, they need to hit rock bottom and work their way out of the hole, then you should help educate them with investments.
Yes, because in all cases blood is thicker than water and the only people you can really trust in life is family.
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