Travelling without spouse but with sibling and parent...spouse considers this odd? (guilty, outdoorsy)
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I think leaving out genders actually makes it much harder to get a helpful reply.
Yeah, like is it two brothers and their divorced dad going to the place Lamar Odom recently put on the news or two sisters and mom going to a lesbian stronghold?
Yeah, like is it two brothers and their divorced dad going to the place Lamar Odom recently put on the news or two sisters and mom going to a lesbian stronghold?
Okay, just saw the clarification. Wouldn't it just be simpler to invite the spouses, too? it might help bring the newly meshed family together. If either spouse doesn't want to go, or can't for some reason, that's no reason to exclude the other one.
This actually is a trip that my spouse has always wanted to take, which certainly complicates things. We've talked about our taking this same trip sometime as just the two of us. That's not making much difference, though, in terms of the trip I'm wanting to take w/ my sibling & parent.
My sole reasoning behind the vagueness was that I thought that'd be the best way to get unbiased responses. I'm asking in complete seriousness and I'm not baiting you at all by asking this: do you think your answer to the question(s) might have changed if I'd included our genders?
You and your spouse should make the trip alone, since he has always wanted to make this trip. If that means later then so be it.
Your parent and sibling should make the trip also. Maybe you can plan to meet up at relatives homes part way through the trip, stay just a week and then you come home.
I sense that part of the issue is this is likely a long extended trip....
Actually, your vagueness makes it hard to respond.
I'm having to guess...But, my guess is you, your sibling and parent are going back to your home of your culture? And, that this is a trip that your parent has planned for years..and that is why it is so important to you...I get that. And, I get that is why your hubby would be a tag along on this trip.
I would strongly suggest that you and your hubby start planning your trip together...asap. Maybe it will make him feel better knowing there is an "alone" trip in the works and he'll feel less badly about this one.
fiancee sounds jealous and insecure and controlling and manipulative
it is perfectly appropriate for family members to take vacations or trips together in any combination whatsoever
i just state outright "I would like to take this trip with xyz"
and to those not included/invited on a particular trip i tell them "there will be other times where we spend time together and i look forward to those."
it can be due to work schedules, it can be due to celebrating, it can be due to just plain personal preference.
one of my adult family members i have to see without his girlfriend, otherwise i never get to see him. i visited once for 2 weeks and she insisted he "take her out" every night so i did not get to see him hardly at all. So i told him "she sees you every day, she prevents me from seeing you when i visit. So can we take a trip together you and I without her because i enjoy your company, would that work for you" and he said sure great and that's what we do. I just say things like "she sees you every day. i see you once or twice a year."
you see your fiance every day.
those "joined at the hip" demands get really old really fast. it is not a sign of love or sharing. it is a sign of jealousy, insecurity, and seeking to dominate and control another. it is an early warning sign of abuse also, seeking to limit who someone spends time with, and limit or cut them off from their family and other activities that do not include them.
That is what I'm having issues with. A lot of posters keep saying "But its a family trip..." as if his wife is not family. I'm not even married to my SO, but he is still a part of my family. I would never dream of going on a "family only" vacation without him. And my family would never let such a thing happen.
YES!!!! She's NOT chopped liver. She's his new family. Many of these posters sound like they have never been married, it was a disaster, etc. They're also not paying attention to the fact that this was an issue before they got married and that they've only been married for month. This is NOT a great way to start off a marriage. It's all about compromise! Doesn't sound like the OP wants to compromise. He wants the trip and that's that....I feel sorry for her. He needs to cut the apron strings and work on his marriage or else this is not going to last sadly.
you see your fiance every day.
those "joined at the hip" demands get really old really fast. it is not a sign of love or sharing. it is a sign of jealousy, insecurity, and seeking to dominate and control another. it is an early warning sign of abuse also, seeking to limit who someone spends time with, and limit or cut them off from their family and other activities that do not include them.
This is his WIFE NOT fiancee! The OP lives down the street and sees his family constantly. He doesn't see them once or twice a year. HUGE difference between your story and this situation.
That is what I'm having issues with. A lot of posters keep saying "But its a family trip..." as if his wife is not family. I'm not even married to my SO, but he is still a part of my family. I would never dream of going on a "family only" vacation without him. And my family would never let such a thing happen.
I figured the OP was male and was going on vacation with a sister and mother. He is obviously very close to these two women, so why wouldn't he want his wife to be close to them as well? A cross country vacation would be the perfect opportunity for everyone to bond and feel more like a family. This could help solve some of the issues his wife is having with his family. She might not feel included, and feels like an outsider. Being excluded from a "family only" vacation would make her feel even more excluded.
Yes and especially to the bolded. I also wonder why Mom and Sis aren't lobbying to have Wife along on the trip. I'm trying to imagine the scenario if my brother had contemplated taking a similar trip with me and our mom. My first words would have been "Why isn't Amy coming along?"
The OP said his sister wouldn't participate in wedding activities if her own friends weren't going to be there.
That seems like more than keeping a new family member at arms-length. That seems like active dislike.
Something is hinky with this thread. I suspect the OP is not disclosing the full situation.
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