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How soon should one get out the dress code for a family get together during the holidays?
Or.......is it just expected that everyone will have formal clothes always and will know how to travel (ie, have the necessary luggage always) with them always?
I must admit, I remember one grand aunt who had a sweat shirt (with sweat pants) that said, "At my age, this is as dressed up as I get!".
Why can’t you just take one for the team? Sounds like the expectation is for everyone to step it up a notch.
Maybe YOU should get a life and buy some nice clothes.
Seriously though, I don’t understand how people have zero “decent” or like business casual, at the least, clothes. What do you wear to funerals/wakes/memorial services? Out to nice restaurants? To weddings? Do you do nothing except go to your casual job and casual restaurants? Or just show up underdressed to certain things and not care?
I don’t think it’s that hard for OP to buy and bring a pair of black pants and nice blouse for dinner. That’s the type of outfit it’s always good to have. You can buy an outfit like this at Marshalls, not even expensive. But this is coming from someone who was raised to look nice and put together on holidays because they are important to our family. We actually have an extended family member who always dresses super casual for basically everything. Like way too casual in some instances. We don’t say anything, but sometimes he smells (he has some issues)... then we say something.
I just think people who utterly refuse to ever wear “nice” clothes are the stubborn ones, but that’s my opinion.
I don't go to funerals/wakes/memorials.... I am retired, my wife's job requires jeans and soem sort fo pull over shirt..
AND as far as dressing up for dinner.. Where i live people wear ripped jeans (although they cost $400 a pair) they still look like ripped old jeans... Where I would go to have to "dress up" to eat I could buy a used car for....
I am raising 3 younger grand kids and we have no social life...... So THAT is why we have no dressy clothes.. Kiddos come first....
All the people on here saying the OP is asking advice but NOT taking it, or asking why they do not stand up to the relatives or say anything about the clothes.. AND berating the OP about how easy it is to buy an outfit or WHY do you NOT already own one is being a (NOT for lack of a better word) busybody.... NOT your business why or why not they do or do not have certain clothes and whether it is easy or hard for them to get them (unless you are buying the clothes for them)....
Maybe she is looking at the advice and re considering the trip.. Also maybe the OP can't stand up for herself (a lot of people cannot do that).. Or she cares what these people think.. I obviously am not one of those people.. I can stand up for myself very well (in fact to the point I haven't seen or talked to people in years) and I could give a crap less what people think of me and I do not even think of them....
Not everyone in the world thinks or acts or lives like you.. And some people cannot even fathom why that is so... So if they ask advice, give it and move on.. It is then their problem whether they take the advice or not...
Believe it or not, the rest of us also have lives, jobs and other commitments. Many of us have lived in less than ideal circumstances from time to time. I understand you think you are uniquely...unique. Newsflash: so is everyone else.
Nailed it.
The OP thinks that she is a special snowflake with a playmate body - I mean, she gave measurements. LOL
Who does that?
Her OP was one long humble-brag - she didn't want advice.
Dress code for a family function? Sod off. Either take me as I am and as you know me or don't expect me to show up.
If I'm invited to something that requires more than a band or comic character T shirt and cargo pants, it very likely isn't my cup of tea. The kind of people who would tell me what to wear wouldn't miss me if I wasn't there, so everyone's a winner.
Last edited by scribbles76; 11-23-2017 at 04:44 PM..
As to what use, well last week when I was in Dallas and using the new camera, I found out I rather needed tweezers of kind to get the card out. My Swiss Army knife was missing (found it days later in the car) but I found a mini Leatherman in my book bag and used that to pull out the card.
WELL, when you aren't sure what pieces escaped the apartments in the move, where they are, or what shape they are in..................
I was going to use the hiking back pack which is rather what, in part, started this thread. Wednesday, however, I found the old hanging bag luggage, it is in decent shape, it doesn't smell like cat, so I will use that. Then, at one time, I had one of those soft military type small suitcases, so that was also in consideration but it hasn't been seen for a while.
Well, at this point, I am complying with the request, as I can.
Since I now have the right piece of luggage, I am putting in those clothes from 2004. They are even in the dry cleaning bag from their last trip there. Now, whether or not they fit, I don't know and I don't care. I am coming with the clothes that were asked for with what I have......sort of.
Well, quite frankly, I hope to live the rest of my days where I never need a gun. (that's one of those paradoxes, isn't it?)
The reason for the Leatherman is stated above.
As to checking a bag for a 2 night trip being ridiculous, I sort of want to hear that logic.....but will it take another 20 pages?
I find that rather curious, too!
Especially when one considers that 7 pages or so were generated yesterday while I was away for hours.
It costs extra and takes extra time to check a bag. Clothes for a 2 day trip should fit in a carry on.
Dress code for a family function? Sod off. Either take me as I am and as you know me or don't expect me to show up.
If I'm invited to something that requires more than a band or comic character T shirt and cargo pants, it very likely isn't my cup of tea. The kind of people who would tell me what to wear wouldn't miss me if I wasn't there, so everyone's a winner.
My impression is that the last night’s dinner being referred to is at a dressy venue, not a home dinner. OP said Thanksgiving is also Homecoming, it sounds like multiple celebrations and events, and they are telling her the last one is dressy. No one told OP there is a dress code, they simply let her know the last one is formal so she might want to bring an appropriate outfit. I would definitely want to know that in advance. Most people would feel out of place in a formal setting if everyone looks nice and they are in wrinkled comfort clothes.
I'd tell them....this is ME...take it or leave it. As long as body parts are covered who cares? Do they want to see your clothes or you?!?! I've met some vile people who dressed really well....if your clothes are clean and so are you.....you're good to go. Go if you want to and dress how you're comfortable if they can't deal....then that's on them!
Why do I feel like most of the people saying to wear whatever you want whenever and wherever are the same folks who also complain here about loss of manners and common decency?
My impression is that the last night’s dinner being referred to is at a dressy venue, not a home dinner. OP said Thanksgiving is also Homecoming, it sounds like multiple celebrations and events, and they are telling her the last one is dressy. No one told OP there is a dress code, they simply let her know the last one is formal so she might want to bring an appropriate outfit. I would definitely want to know that in advance. Most people would feel out of place in a formal setting if everyone looks nice and they are in wrinkled comfort clothes.
I have to also question the interpretation of "formal". I have trouble imagining that she is expected to whip out a cocktail dress.
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