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Incidentally I did the math. The OP says she's 26, the mom 43.
Seems that mom had her at 17 years old, so she started out early. Just sayin'.
Yeah, I noticed that too... and women who have their children that early tend to "grow up" later in life, since they essentially missed out the first time around. This is not unusual at all.
Thank you! I mean, I can just come out of my room and go to the living room and they are all into it.
I really don't get why this guy or any guy his age is with a woman 40+. From what I know of him he has a good job, he certainly works out and is admittedly a handsome guy so why not a younger woman?
I see the OP has already been banned - but as a 41 year-old woman who looks and feels much younger, I take some offense to this comment. I get that a 26 year-old sees things differently, but we're not all old and haggard by 40.
Heck, I get attention MORE often by men around 30 than those over 40! Even got hit on by a 21 year-old recently, and he was surprised when I replied "I'm nearly twice your age" (he thought I was closer to his age). I happen to prefer older men, but to wonder why a younger man might be interested is insulting.
For some background I am 26 and live with my mom while going to school. For a little over a year now she has been in a relationship with a younger man, 30. Now she is 43. Honestly, I think it is gross not just because she is with a man more my age but they are very open about it, as in they will kiss and make out even when I am around. It really bothers me and I have told her but she just says "it's my house I can do what I want" "you can't dictate who I am involved with" etc.
Now due to financial difficulty I did move back in after she was in this "relationship" but still, shouldn't she see how I view it as her daughter and tone it way down? The guy she is with is nice and everything but it's not fun seeing this.
Sorry, but your mother is right. You are a grown woman. You are not a 14 year old who might miss your father and are having a hard time accepting the new guy. Its not like that. Your mother is still young, and I can't really blame her for not deciding to hide her affection. I mean, ultimately, if you don't like it, move on your own.
Figure out what fifty bucks is in today's money (about $450) get it, pack a bag and haul ass. Get your own life.
While I agree with the idea, inflation isn't that simple... and where I live, it's more like $4500 just for the move-in costs on any apartment! That's about exactly what I paid for my current place (first month's rent + deposit), and it's on the low end of rents here.
Guess it depends on where you live, but even in very cheap regions you'll likely need more than that.
Perhaps had the mom raised her daughter better, the daughter would have finished school in a timely manner and not needed to move home.
Really?? My parents raised me very well, thanks, and I didn't finish my education until age 30... started college almost a year after high school, dropped out in the middle for two years (for a variety of reasons), went back and finished the BA @ 25, then worked for a couple years and finished the Master's at 30. This isn't unusual, and has nothing to do with "being raised better/worse." As you said yourself, stuff happens. And just the fact that someone is finishing ANY college/grad school is a testament to being raised well.
For some background I am 26 and live with my mom while going to school. For a little over a year now she has been in a relationship with a younger man, 30. Now she is 43. Honestly, I think it is gross not just because she is with a man more my age but they are very open about it, as in they will kiss and make out even when I am around. It really bothers me and I have told her but she just says "it's my house I can do what I want" "you can't dictate who I am involved with" etc.
Now due to financial difficulty I did move back in after she was in this "relationship" but still, shouldn't she see how I view it as her daughter and tone it way down? The guy she is with is nice and everything but it's not fun seeing this.
Your mom is a grown ass woman and can make out with who she damn well pleases. You live under her roof so thank her for that and be on your way....
But clearly the OPs mother puts her own relationship first. The OP went on a mother-daughter trip to the mall and after a few hours her boytoy calls and she asks him to come over and she jumps in his arms, holds hands and presumably ignores her daughter. Not good mothering.
Grown children don't need 'mothering'. They need good healthy relationships with their parents, meaning they realize their parents have needs too.
If mom is failing her daughter here it's that she didn't teach her that children are supposed to grow up and become independent, to not expect mommy to give up having her own life because it upsets her adult child.
Thanks for the responses. Went to bed after posting, just now got back. I get that it's my mothers house and she can be with who she wants, but isn't it wrong to get them to tone things down? I feel embarrassed if I say go to the kitchen to get something and they're all over each other. And I swear, since she's been with him she has started acting more like a teenager. I came back from work and I kid you not, my mother and the guy she is with were running around the house playing lazer tag
Grown children don't need 'mothering'. They need good healthy relationships with their parents, meaning they realize their parents have needs too.
If mom is failing her daughter here it's that she didn't teach her that children are supposed to grow up and become independent, to not expect mommy to give up having her own life because it upsets her adult child.
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