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But you aren't a child, you're a grown woman in your mid-20's. An adult who is displaying the emotional attitude of a selfish 12 year old child. And your mother isn't neglecting you, she's just paying more attention to somebody else now who is able to give her what she wants and needs. If she was neglecting you then you wouldn't be living under her roof again at your age because of your financial problems, she'd have kicked you out of the nest 8 years ago, or more, and told you to beat it and fend for yourself and never would have let you come back to live with her again.
It sounds to me like you are not really embarrassed because your mother has turned into "this", you're resentful because she has something that you want and can't have. And I bet your mom and her boyfriend are both fully aware of that too.
What I'm reading here is that you are jealous and begrudging of your mother because "this" happens to be that she has a lover, she's in love and is happy and having a good time and a good sex life with a sexy young hunk of testosterone laden hunka hunka burnin' love beef cake who is responsible, has a good job and apparently adores her and is devoted to her and treats her like a queen. I say good for your mom and I wish all the more power to her for being so lucky. She will be even luckier when you are moved out and no longer there to interfere with her new life.
You are using his younger age and their very open romantic behavior as an excuse for your jealousy and resentment and your control issues.
If any one of my adult offspring was living under my roof and my generosity and tried to control me and tell me what to do, issued ultimatums and attempted to interfere in my personal relationship and my sex life and come between me and a nice guy like that I would kick that adult offspring to the curb and tell them to take a hike and get lost. And I would never let them live under my roof again. Adult children are supposed to be self-sufficient.
You better grow up, be careful about what you say and how you behave and stop complaining, stop trying to spoil her fun, stop trying to alienate her from her boyfriend, stop being the fly in your mom's ointment while you're living under her roof and enjoying her generosity. Otherwise your mother is going to smarten up and kick you out and you might not be welcome again because you are already doing a good job of alienating yourself from your mom. Especially when you go posting about her on a public online forum like this.
The sooner you mature emotionally and get out of her house the better you'll shine. Then maybe if you are lucky you can find a guy like that for yourself.
For some background I am 26 and live with my mom while going to school. For a little over a year now she has been in a relationship with a younger man, 30. Now she is 43. Honestly, I think it is gross not just because she is with a man more my age but they are very open about it, as in they will kiss and make out even when I am around. It really bothers me and I have told her but she just says "it's my house I can do what I want" "you can't dictate who I am involved with" etc.
Now due to financial difficulty I did move back in after she was in this "relationship" but still, shouldn't she see how I view it as her daughter and tone it way down? The guy she is with is nice and everything but it's not fun seeing this.
If you don’t like your free accommodations you’re more than welcome to move. You’re 26 years old, a grown adult, and you can’t support yourself? Seems to me you should be showing a little appreciation to your mother who allowed you to move back into her home
The polite thing to do whenever a person interrupts a private situation between two other people is to recognize that YOU are the offender (not them), say "Oh, excuse me!" and walk back out. After that she should mind her own business. If she doesn't like it, she should move out. And most importantly, she needs to grow up and recognize that she is not the center of the universe.
For all those saying "just move out" I can't. I don't make enough and I am busy with school. I just think that she should be putting me, her daughter first, and realize how uncomfortable it is.
She did put you first when she allowed you to move back home. You're encroaching on her privacy. . And, by the way, You're not entitled to be put first until you pay your own way.
Yes, exactly. Having a mother turn into this is very embarrassing. Last time I checked, it was considered a bad thing for a mother to neglect their child for a man.
And the last time **I** checked, 26 years old is a grown woman.....
Yes, exactly. Having a mother turn into this is very embarrassing. Last time I checked, it was considered a bad thing for a mother to neglect their child for a man.
You are not a child. You are a grown woman. When I was your age I was a company commander during a war.
All of her obligations to you ended the day you turn 18.
I think mom never grew up and acts like a teenager herself. What type of example is she leading. Family comes first.
^THIS.
Even though is the mother's house, they could still practice some discreet and self-control knowing her daughter might see them making out *yucks*. Op might be an adult now but their mother and daughter relationship stands still, and whatever her age it makes a distasteful behaviour. gross
Even though is the mother's house, they could still practice some discreet and self-control knowing her daughter might see them making out *yucks*. Op might be an adult now but their mother and daughter relationship stands still, and whatever her age it makes a distasteful behaviour. gross
Why should the mom be discreet in her own home? She can behave any way she chooses. She doesn't have to justify her behavior to anyone and she is behind closed doors - the closed door of her home. What you and the daughter may consider "distasteful" evidently the mother does not. It has nothing at all to do with the mother/daughter dynamic. The daughter is a grown woman, not an easily influenced child. Why should her mother exercise restraint just because her grown daughter might see her showing affection to her boyfriend? If the OP sees mom and her boyfriend making out, then she can just turn around and go in the other direction and not disturb them. The daughter apparently needs a social life of her own, then she wouldn't have time to worry about what her mother is doing.
Me, me, me, me, meeeeeee.......... Seems to be the OP's theme song.
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