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I actually understand her more than your nephew. I'm sure her extended family is MUCH CLOSER than most Western families. And they might be wealthy, you didn't say.
But for middle class people to be shocked that extended family is not going overseas to a wedding? I am lost.
I think you are going to have to say you can't afford it. And talk about it in advance with a directive that it will not be brought up at Christmas of all times.
Thank you. We are actually a pretty close family. Whether or not she is wealthy I don’t know but she says she is. And we told them from the get go we couldn’t go ( they sent a poll telling us about their planned weddings in Turkey AND Miami). All of us said we could not go to Turkey but were looking forward to the Miami event, which they then said wasn’t happening. It’s a few pages back.
They’ve been told but apparently want to insist (sigh).
You are hosting Christmas at your house, right? Your house, your rules. You need to speak to your Nephew and let him know that you do not want him or his chick to mention their wedding and bullying people in your house. Tell him if they can not play by your rules, don't come. These people are unbelievable!
You should spend all of your energy focusing on your son's wedding.
Mercedes, I sympathize that this is happening, especially during the holidays when you will be hosting this entitled couple.
It sounds like your sister will be talking to this couple and she really needs to lay it on the line that they cannot continue to berate the other relatives who cannot attend their wedding in Turkey, for whatever reason. You and others already told them you would not be going but they seem to think they can bully or shame you into it. Evidently their 90% approval poll for their wedding abroad was not quite the truth but used to try to influence others into attending. Tacky and juvenile.
It also needs to be made clear that your Christmas gathering is completely off limits for further discussion of these wedding attendance issues. Will your son, who is also getting married next fall, be there? Your son should not feel uncomfortable in your home, either, which this couple may do.
Really, your sister as the groom’s mother needs to take control of this situation. If she cannot stop the harassment, you and your husband can simply calmly repeat that you cannot travel to Turkey. If the madness continues, be glad that this couple lives out of town as your relationship may change. This self-centeredness will continue so expectations will only get worse in the future.
If this girl’s family is so rich and they want all the aunts there, they could shell out and pay for it but I suspect that will never happen. Good luck to you and concentrate on your own immediate family’s holiday - don’t let this Bridezilla situation ruin that.
Last edited by shamrock4; 12-15-2019 at 09:05 AM..
Your nephew and his bridezilla can make a big deal about you and the others not coming, but that doesnt mean you have to. You told them very cordially that you couldnt make it, but wished them well. That should be the end of it. It was their choice to have only one wedding in Turkey , so they have to accept that they will probably only have people attending on her side. I wouldnt be too concerned about hosting Christmas, and I wouldnt engage if bridezilla goes off. It will just show her selfishness. If they do come to you in person and insist, you can insist with a smile that you just can't make it, but you wish them well. I think in this case it will be easy to be the bigger person, as they have set the bar pretty low.
Last edited by carnivalday; 12-15-2019 at 08:25 AM..
Mercedes, I sympathize that this is happening, especially during the holidays when you will be hosting this entitled couple.
It sounds like your sister will be talking to this couple and she really needs to lay it on the line that they cannot continue us to berate the other relatives who cannot attend their wedding in Turkey, for whatever reason. You and others already told them you would not be going but they seem to think they can bully or shame you into it. Evidently their 90% approval poll for their wedding abroad was not quite the truth but used to try to influence others into attending. Tacky and juvenile.
It also needs to be made clear that your Christmas gathering is completely off limits for further discussion of these wedding attendance issues. Will your son, who is also getting married next fall, be there? Your son should not feel uncomfortable in your home, either, which this couple may do.
Really, your sister as the groom’s mother needs to take control of this situation. If she cannot stop the harassment, you and your husband can simply calmly repeat that you cannot travel to Turkey. If the madness continues, be glad that this couple lives out of town as your relationship may change. This self-centeredness will continue so expectations will only get worse in the future.
If this girl’s family is so rich and they want all the aunts there, they could shell out and pay for it but I suspect that will never happen. Good luck to you and concentrate on your own immediate family’s holiday - don’t let this Bridezilla situation ruin that.
Thank you. Yes my sister is taking the situation in hand, I really feel for her she is extremely stressed out as they have been apparently calling everyone in the family.
My son and his cousin who used to be like brothers are estranged because my son who is planning his own wedding, simply cannot afford to travel to Turkey to attend his cousin’s, and they don’t seem to understand that.
If they come to your home for Christmas and start blowing up about it, you will just have to be honest and say that your budget only stretches to one wedding and you’re choosing your son. But really your sister should be getting her kid in line. He’s a grown adult acting like a spoiled little brat. She should be the one telling him to not come to Christmas if he can’t behave appropriately.
If they make a big deal at Christmas, I would retaliate and make a big fuss about them no longer having a 2nd wedding in Miami as originally planned.
So helpful...
"Revenge has no more quenching effect on emotions than salt water has on thirst."
"Revenge is always the weak pleasure of a little and narrow mind."
Hopefully you're above such things OP.
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