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Is there a reason they are so against him? Did he do or say something to them at some point? I don't understand why they are so concerned and invested in you breaking up with him? What's it to them?
I was thinking the same thing.
Of course, a father is going to put his children's needs before the "wants" of a woman that he just met a few months ago. Sheesh, that should be obvious to everyone.
You excluded the part about you having constant meltdowns in front of your best friend over him so them getting sick of it, which underlies their reaction.
Just explain explicitly to your friend and her mom: "I value my Friday Sexual romps with him above all else. Please understand that's the cause of my emotional volatility. Women of all people should understand how we can get into into these spells as sex is not just physical in nature.. it's mental/emotional. I'm an emotional prisoner to him and the sex".
i would say stop discussing the details of your relationship with these friends. Keep whatever happens between the both of you to yourself. If they ask just say evertyhting is fine. That way they have no amunition to gang on you about.
So Saturday morning I had a falling out with two of my closest friends, my best friend and her mom. I'll try to keep it as brief as possible:
I've been dating my current boyfriend for about 4 months now, he is divorced with 2 small children, so as dating any single parent with 2 small children sometimes thing come up and plans can change last minute. He was supposed to be with his kids on Christmas day and then tentatively join me at my best friend's house that evening. However he got caught up with the kids and long story short didn't make it, I had an argument with him about because I was embarrassed in front of my friends, he was apologizing to me for 3 hours and promised he wouldn't do something like that to me again, I forgave him. However when he didn't show up at my best friend's house her and her mom started urging me to text him and tell him off or break up with him, which is not really the way I do things. They kept insisting I do it, which was adding to the embarrassment and causing anxiety over this whole thing, so I just left (the party was over anyway) and said I'd decide what to do on my way home. They kept telling me if I don't break up with him, I should at least not talk to him for a week. I personally think these tactics are ridiculous, if you want to forgive someone forgive them, if you want to break up with someone than break up with them. I clearly did not want to break up with him over this, since I understand him putting his kids before me that's what he should be doing.
Anyway I usually see him friday nights, and they kept telling me not to see him. I just ignored them and saw him Friday night. Friday evening my best friend starting bombarding me with aggressive texts and one of them was "are you with that POS"? and then other texts saying how her mother is angry with me and stuff. I didn't see these texts until Saturday morning, and when I called the both of them back they were basically talking down to me and degrading me for seeing my boyfriend. They eventually hung up on me and that was it. Just some background we've been best friends for 30 years, she's more like my sister than anything else, so I've been sick over this. I don't want to reach out to her because I don't think I'm wrong, and I'm pretty sure in her head she thinks she's looking out for me and I should appreciate it. I just don't know what to do right now, I'm consumed with anxiety over this. Any suggestions on how to approach are welcome....
The bolded above is comical, because if you really felt this way you wouldn't have started a thread to complain about it, and you wouldn't have had an argument with him using the excuse that you were embarrassed in front of your friends.
You complain about this man here, and if you do that, you complain about him endlessly to your friends. You stated in your previous thread that they egg you on. Okay, why is that? Because you complain about him and then listen to their advice.
If only people would realize that when there's a lot of drama swirling around them, they're attracting / creating it themselves.
Do both you and this man a favor - dump him. He deserves better and you'll be free to find a guy whose only commitment is to you.
Last edited by MPowering1; 12-30-2019 at 02:49 PM..
I mean, these same friends vented to me a lot, and I've always given honest advice but never got this aggressive if they didn't take it. I thought you should be able to vent to your friends without judgement.
There's a limit to everyone's patience. You've exceeded theirs. You have unrealistic expectations of the people involved, including members here who have tried to advise you before. Time to do something about that.
Hint: don't vent while you do it.
Last edited by Parnassia; 12-30-2019 at 02:23 PM..
Of course, a father is going to put his children's needs before the "wants" of a woman that he just met a few months ago. Sheesh, that should be obvious to everyone.
That or they are super bored with their own lives to create drama for entertainment.
I mean, I have friends who I despised who they were dating, but say your opinion on how you feel and leave it that. It's one thing to be honest, it's another thing to meddle in the lives of your friends, unless you feel the person they are seeing is extremely dangerous. But even then.
The bolded above is comical, because if you really felt this way you wouldn't have started a thread to complain about it, and you wouldn't have had an argument with him using the excuse that you were embarrassed in front of your friends.
You complain about this man here, and if you do that, you complain about him endlessly to your friends. You stated in your previous threat that they egg you on. Okay, why is that? Because you complain about him and then listen to their advice.
If only people would realize that when there's a lot of drama swirling around them, they're attracting / creating it themselves.
Do both you and this man AND HIS KIDS a favor - dump him. He deserves better and you'll be free to find a guy whose only commitment is to you.
So Saturday morning I had a falling out with two of my closest friends, my best friend and her mom. I'll try to keep it as brief as possible:
I've been dating my current boyfriend for about 4 months now, he is divorced with 2 small children, so as dating any single parent with 2 small children sometimes thing come up and plans can change last minute. He was supposed to be with his kids on Christmas day and then tentatively join me at my best friend's house that evening. However he got caught up with the kids and long story short didn't make it, I had an argument with him about because I was embarrassed in front of my friends, he was apologizing to me for 3 hours and promised he wouldn't do something like that to me again, I forgave him. However when he didn't show up at my best friend's house her and her mom started urging me to text him and tell him off or break up with him, which is not really the way I do things. They kept insisting I do it, which was adding to the embarrassment and causing anxiety over this whole thing, so I just left (the party was over anyway) and said I'd decide what to do on my way home. They kept telling me if I don't break up with him, I should at least not talk to him for a week. I personally think these tactics are ridiculous, if you want to forgive someone forgive them, if you want to break up with someone than break up with them. I clearly did not want to break up with him over this, since I understand him putting his kids before me that's what he should be doing.
Anyway I usually see him friday nights, and they kept telling me not to see him. I just ignored them and saw him Friday night. Friday evening my best friend starting bombarding me with aggressive texts and one of them was "are you with that POS"? and then other texts saying how her mother is angry with me and stuff. I didn't see these texts until Saturday morning, and when I called the both of them back they were basically talking down to me and degrading me for seeing my boyfriend. They eventually hung up on me and that was it. Just some background we've been best friends for 30 years, she's more like my sister than anything else, so I've been sick over this. I don't want to reach out to her because I don't think I'm wrong, and I'm pretty sure in her head she thinks she's looking out for me and I should appreciate it. I just don't know what to do right now, I'm consumed with anxiety over this. Any suggestions on how to approach are welcome....
You are not wrong. Those 2 are catty, vengeful women who seem to want to punish instead of forgive.
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