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It was Christmas and the OP was excited to show off her boyfriend to her friends. He stood her up...AND he embarrassed her. She has every right to be upset and frustrated. But, at the same time, she does realize (and understands) that his kids are his top priority and stuff like this will happen sometimes. It's still frustrating though.
That's a good point. I overlooked that part in the original post. Christmas would have been the first time the best friend and her Mom met this guy. And him having to cancel was unfortunate for all, and now the best friend and mom are thinking the worst of him. Especially after hearing bad stories about him from OP. Not the best first impression, but it wasn't the guy's fault, he had a legitimate reason.
That's a good point. I overlooked that part in the original post. Christmas would have been the first time the best friend and her Mom met this guy. And him having to cancel was unfortunate for all, and now the best friend and mom are thinking the worst of him. Especially after hearing bad stories about him from OP. Not the best first impression, but it wasn't the guy's fault, he had a legitimate reason.
He didn't cancel on her. She's known since 12/17 that he wasn't planning to go to her friend's house on Christmas Day. She posted about it here the next day.
She just didn't want to accept that her plan wouldn't happen.
He didn't cancel on her. She's known since 12/17 that he wasn't planning to go to her friend's house on Christmas Day. She posted about it here the next day.
She just didn't want to accept that her plan wouldn't happen.
If you read that whole thread, he said he would try to come later on. Christmas Eve he was talking to me as though he was coming.
If you read that whole thread, he said he would try to come later on. Christmas Eve he was talking to me as though he was coming.
"Try to come" is not a plan set in stone. You can't set up your expectations on something like that and then blame the person if they can't follow through. You had the scenario all set up in your head and pitched it to your friends and now they're dogging on your BF. What did you expect? Dang, I wish your BF could read these postings - I bet he'd be heading for the door so fast the floor would be smoking!
If you read that whole thread, he said he would try to come later on. Christmas Eve he was talking to me as though he was coming.
You think I didn’t read the whole thread?? Lol I posted in it the same day you last posted there.
You KNOW from how he deals with his ex that he has a problem saying “no.” And he was doing the same thing to you, trying to defer conflict because he knew it would make you mad.
I suggested that you tell him NOT to come to your friends so that you wouldn’t end up in the exact situation you’re here posting about. But you chose to keep your expectation.
You were snarky to him before Christmas even came. Did you WANT to have a showdown with him?
If you read that whole thread, he said he would try to come later on. Christmas Eve he was talking to me as though he was coming.
You told him, according to that thread, that you'll "believe it when you see it". Which was kinda snotty. You've also admitted you had friends that were already riling you up about this whole situation because they didn't think he should treat you that way (making his kids a priority?). Honestly if I had friends that were already bad mouthing or thinking less of the guy before they met him, I wouldn't be trying to rush to introduce them.
Take a break from them and let things cool down with the friends. Reconsider whether you've got the fortitude to try to make it with this man. From this point on, you should reconsider on venting to friends, especially since there are consequences.
You think I didn’t read the whole thread?? Lol I posted in it the same day you last posted there.
You KNOW from how he deals with his ex that he has a problem saying “no.” And he was doing the same thing to you, trying to defer conflict because he knew it would make you mad.
I suggested that you tell him NOT to come to your friends so that you wouldn’t end up in the exact situation you’re here posting about. But you chose to keep your expectation.
You were snarky to him before Christmas even came. Did you WANT to have a showdown with him?
It was a faux expectation anyway. She said she'd believe it when she saw it. And if she makes snarky remarks like this here because she's venting, she's doing it with her friends - thus giving them license to do the same.
You told him, according to that thread, that you'll "believe it when you see it". Which was kinda snotty. You've also admitted you had friends that were already riling you up about this whole situation because they didn't think he should treat you that way (making his kids a priority?). Honestly if I had friends that were already bad mouthing or thinking less of the guy before they met him, I wouldn't be trying to rush to introduce them.
Take a break from them and let things cool down with the friends. Reconsider whether you've got the fortitude to try to make it with this man. From this point on, you should reconsider on venting to friends, especially since there are consequences.
Sorry, I read your post after I posted - the result of my bad habit of starting to reply and getting sidetracked for an hour or more.
I suspect OP’s friends have reached their tolerance for her complaints about a guy she’s been dating for just a few months. The last straw being more complaints and drama on what should have been a happy occasion.
OP’s friends are out of line but it’s probably reactionary. If she breaks up with him, she’ll stop venting about him. I think OP needs to think about how she’s contributed to this disagreement. They all need to apologize to one another for their bad behavior and avoid the BF being a topic of conversation.
Edit: Are these the friends who think he over prioritizes his kids?
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