Neighbor texting me a lot (husband, female, male, person)
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I'm single and live a few houses down from my female neighbor. She is not married but has lived with her male partner at least 10 years or more. They act like a married couple from all appearances. All the neighbors know each other for a long time now. I don't socialize with them we are just friendly neighbors. Neighbors 'talk' about other neighbors but gossipy (personal things).
About 3 years ago I noticed she was taking daily walks and I asked to join her to walk. She was enthusiastic. He was fine with it. He doesn't like to walk. So me and her started walking daily. She tells me all about her work ,life, etc. Really more details I care to know. But I'm a good listener. Anyway I stopped walking with her because I wanted to ride my bike instead of walk. And she did something that I thought was very suggestive. Unbelievable really. She wanted me to help fix a zipper in a pair of her jeans! Of course I didn't offer to do that. I acted nonchalant about it. This is now a forgotten thing. No other suggestive acts since.
She recently asked me to help with her car when it had a mechanical issue. Her partner doesn't mind, he's not as mechanical as I am. She asked me for a ride to the auto shop because her partner is at work. I'm ok with helping her. I help other neighbors all the time too with this/that.
But now she has recently started texting me more frequently. About work issues and neighbor issues. This morning a text at 8am to wish late happy birthday. And has been calling me too which she never did before. She recently called me on her lunch time. Again about an issue in the hoa, neighbor, or her work. She often says "don't tell anyone I told you".
But she's never contacted me this much before. When we have talked on the phone she brings up some really personal issues/struggles and I reply to them with I think helpful suggestions/assurance. As a friend would. That's all I can do. But why not talk to her partner? We'll I'm sure she does.
What I want to know is what do you all think this? And about my approach I'm taking, which is not asking her to stop. It doesn't bother me. I think it will slow down.
Sounds like she has a crush on you. I would just stop replying to her texts. If she asks if you are upset with her - just say "no, of course not. I am just not a big texter". Don't respond to phone calls except every once in a while. She will stop.
I think she's just overly friendly/chatty, not into you. So long as she's not venting to you extensively about her relationship, I think she is taking you up on your claim of being a good listener.
If you want it to cool down, you can respond more slowly (or not at all) on occasion. No biggie!
I personally think it's too much texting from a person in a committed relationship to a single person. To me, the way you're handling it is just keeping the gate open for her to continue and escalate.
Time for the slow fade: don't reply to every single text, and wait for longer periods of time to reply.
I personally think it's too much texting from a person in a committed relationship to a single person. To me, the way you're handling it is just keeping the gate open for her to continue and escalate.
Time for the slow fade: don't reply to every single text, and wait for longer periods of time to reply.
She probably thinks of you as a friend. I mean, if you were of the same sex as her, all of this wouldn't be a problem. I think that's probably how she's thinking, too. I've always had male friends, I'm just more comfortable with them as friends in general. I don't flirt with them (don't even know if I could remember HOW to flirt), but I've texted them, sometimes more often than other times. My husband has free access to my phone, I have nothing to hide.
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